What are your thoughts?

[Jane05]

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right area, but.... ;)

What are your thoughts?

For the last 2 weeks, everytime I've spoken or seen a sponsee, she appears to be under the influence (of something). What I'd like to know is, if you were her sponsor how would you handle this and if you were the sponsee how would you like your sponsor to approach you?

[angussdundee]

One thing I would insist on would be honesty between a sponsor and a sponsee, because if there is any doubt about that you both may question whether or not you are taking your roles seriously.
The other thing to always remember is, though you won't be responsible for the failure or success of the recoveries of those you sponsor - in the end it's up to them - but it is important for both of you to do the best you can and you'll only achieve that by being rigerously honest. You have to get it clear that sponsoring someone is part of your recovery as well as the sponsee's.
I believe that it is the prime responsibility of any sponsor to guide their sponsee through the 12 step program of recovery. If this is done according to the instructions laid out in the big book of alcoholics anonymous then the honesty question will be answered in due course.
We're not there to judge or censure anyone but it is vitaly important that we try to get honest from the 'very start'.

Anguss.

[samf]

I can't fix a sponsee or make them do something I don't want them to do. I guess my own view is that maybe they need more practice to get to a point of surrender.

I have one person (sponsee) who is still doing research. I try to call, once in a while, just to be friendly, but that is honestly all I am doing, right now.

Sam

[WolfM]

Dear Freinds,
I learned early on that I can carry the message, but I can't carry the alcoholic. If someone I am sponsoring relapses, they tell me and we start over. If they don't call me, I call them. If they stop taking my calls, I stop calling them. When they come back I do not have to ask what happened (although I usually do because I want to know what the warning signs are for my own selfish purposes) because stopping meetings and talking to your sponsor is one way to guarantee a relapse.

Wolf M

[Jane05]

Great Stuff!!! Thank you!!

I "believe" my girl "may" be practicing avoidance. We were to meet Saturday and she was a no show. We are also doing a great game of phone tag. But, I still have great hope for her, I hear she's still in meetings.

Thank you all so much for sharing!