5 Key Actions To Keep You Sober

[Chance]

There are so many different things and aspects on how to stay Sober and Clean that could literally drive someone to the point of being frustrated as there is too many things on their plate just to Recovery. We are going to try to simplify this into 5 Key Actions that will help you in your journey to stay in the Recovery Mode. When you here that this is a simple program with complicated people, that statement is so true. So let's break this down into 5 things that will keep you on the right path in Recovery!

1. Get and read the 12 Step Recovery Literature!

Although we here are basically people who recover through the 12 Step Programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, etc. We mention reading the 12 Step Recovery Literature. However, if you are a person that is not into 12 Step Recovery or any aspect of it, get some literature that is based on what Program you use to Recover. It doesn't have to be 12 Step Recovery Based. Just so you spend sometime each day reading your recovery literature.

At first you may just start out reading for a 10 minute basis or so. Some of us just started out each morning by reading one of the Meditations such as: As Bill See's It, AA Thought For Today, Daily Reflections, Just For Today, Stools And Bottles, etc. Than reading just a few pages from either the AA Big Book or the NA Basic Text, etc. That is a wonderful start, cause it is into action and soon you will see that you have gained in reading more of the AA Big Book, NA Basic Text, 12x12, It Works How And Why, etc. As long as we continue each day to read/study we are staying in our Recovery Journey.

2. Get and use a Sponsor!

The only Program that I am aware of that uses the term Sponsor in the Literature of Recovery that I use is NA. Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't mention the word Sponsor in its Literature of Recovery (the first 164 pages) instead it uses the term *Closed Mouth Friend*.

A Sponsor is not someone who is boss of you, it is someone that you can use to get feedback from. Usually if you present a issue to a Sponsor or a closed mouth friend, they will not tell you as to what to do, rather, they will tell you of a situation that might be relevant to what you have mentioned and tell you what they did (Action) to get through the certain situation. That is what we call Experience, Strength, and Hope (ESH). By doing this it allows us to get maybe a different aspect on something, different ways of doing things and different ideas. We are the ones that will make the final decision.

Once you have acquired a closed mouth friend or Sponsor, you will come to love that person probably to the utmost extreme. They will become a very Special Person in your Recovery Journey!

3. Go To Meetings!

Go To Meetings! One of the things if you are in a 12 Step Program and you have attended meetings a phrase that you have heard, "Meeting Makers Make It"!, or "If you go meetings you will see what happens to those that don't!" These phrases or sayings are true in my own experience. Although there are times when I don't go as much as I used to, I can now tell when I really do need a meeting. However, there is also a saying, you never know which meeting you will need so just go.

In early recovery, meetings are very important. In Narcotics Anonymous Literature, it says, 90 meetings in 90 days. I remember my first shot at recovery in the year of 2001. I made a valve that I would acquire 300 meetings in 90 days. When I got to my 90th day meeting there was a cake from a member with 300 on it . I was so surprised, however, before that meeting I counted my days and meetings and only ended up with 297 meetings in 90 days. I was so angry. Than one of the people that I admired at the time said, "Vic, maybe you just miscounted or you didn't check off one or two of them on your list." That made my attitude of being angry turn to a attitude of forgiveness, and happiness.

4. Work And Live The Steps!

In the 12 Step Recovery Programs we have 12 Steps. We work these steps with a Sponsor or a closed mouth friend. We do this from the very first time we enter the meetings where we have surrendered by admitting that we can not do this on our own. We get and use the material that is laid out to us in our Recovery Literature and our Sponsors Guidance. Some Sponsors will have and use different things that might have been taught to them. We follow their leads because surely they know how to stay and remain sober more than what we do. If we knew more, we wouldn't be newcomers now would we?

So we start off with the First Step, and work our way on down the ladder until we hit Step Twelve. We don't skip steps and we don't fight with how things should be done. We have to remember that our best thinking got us where we are today, so we really rely on someone that has a little bit more of a sane mind than what we do.

5. Call Someone!

Call someone in Recovery each and everyday. Talk to them. Make sure you build yourself a Relationship. If you can get into the mode of calling than when you are really wanting to drink or use, it won't be so hard for you to pick up the phone. The action of this is very vital.

Into Action = Don't Drink or Use No Matter What!

http://www.justfortodaymeditations.com/images/savelives.jpg

[srg11291]

Thank you Chance!!!
I needed to land on this very post this morning. I’m w/o wheels presently, have been for several weeks. I am prone to isolate this time of year anyway. I know, from experience, this is the time of year when I have to stay close to recovery more than ever. I have broken out each of these 5 simple & basic tools, and listed a goal for myself to get through this day, including several very important phone calls that I did not intend on making today. You have motivated me dear friend. Tomorrow I receive my 20 yr chip at my original home group. It’s only through the grace of Creator; people like you who tell me what I need to hear (exactly when I need to hear it) and the Steps that, in spite of myself, I am at this juncture in my journey. For that—Today, I know what it truly means to be thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving to All, gobble, gobble

[MajestyJo]

Thank you for sharing. Before an anniversary, I always try to go to groups that were a big part of my early recovery. I don't get out much at night, so I didn't do it this year. I no longer belong to an AA groups, so never did get a medallion or pin for my 20 years in August. I find I need the program just as much today as I did 20 years ago. I have found over the years, whenever I get into a place that isn't comfortable or is TOO comfortable, I go back to basics. You can't fail.

[saved1]

I spent most of my life blaming others for my woes and the fact that I was compulsive. I thought, "If you had had a mother like I did, an ex-husband or a tough life like mine, you would also have turned to your addiction for comfort or to block all the painful feelings." I was sure that had I had an easier life like I perceived others to have, I wouldn't have had to do the things around my addiction that I did. I never took responsibility for my part in all this because, in truth, I was the one who chose to react to my life in that way. Nobody forced me to behave the way I did and nobody held me down and forced my addiction.

I never used to realize that I do have choices in life. I can choose not to participate in what is harmful to me; I can choose not to surround myself with unhealthy relationships; I can choose not to let other people's problems become my own; in fact, I have choices in most things that I do. I can choose to have a more positive attitude today, instead of focusing on all the negatives. I do not have to react to life's adversities with destructive behaviors. I can choose to be active in my life rather than being reactive, like a sailing ship in a stormy sea that is totally at the mercy of the weather. I can choose to seize life with both hands and live it the best I know how.

One day at a time... . . .
Today I choose to work this program of recovery knowing that, even with life's difficulties, the promises of the program will come true in my life, and I will know serenity and peace.
Sharon S.

(Edited for Universal Recovery)- Share.

[Pythonpappy]

I don't get out much at night, so I didn't do it this year. I no longer belong to an AA groups, so never did get a medallion or pin for my 20 years in August.

Hey JoJo, ... 1st off, congratulations on your 20yr mark ... (hope I live long enough to match that ... Ha!)

Knowing that things change to where we aren't as mobile as we used to be, nor may we see as good at night as we used to, I am still of the opinion that it is important to receive your 20yr 'pin' or 'medallion' in a group meeting so as to give inspiration to those who are new to the program ... Even if it were to be, say, a weekend 'daytime' meeting in the area, I would think any group would be accommodating for you to receive your pin ... I think it would give hope and encouragement to others ... Exact day of the anniversary wouldn't be an issue at this juncture ... (actually our group gave a 22yr chip to an 'out-of-towner' last month, along with our congrats and best wishes ...)

If you can't, you can't ... I understand it may be very difficult for you to attend a meeting now, especially with the onset of Winter ...

It's just a thought ... Love Ya and God Bless,:42:
Pappy

[srg11291]

Absolutely Pappy! :1: Jo Jo I'm in a similar boat as you. Not doin night mtgs, can't see. Don't go where it's not on ground floor, climbing stairs is impossible. Sometimes I have to take Henrietta(my cane) or Henry (my walker), but the youngsters see me comin and they all over me tryin to help. I might add, I'm only 54 ;P. Mtgs aren't near as often now. But I ditto everything Pappy sez, cuz that's ONLY reason I even get them anymore. My WHITE one is the most important to me and it alway stays close by as my reminder.

Now here's my own ES&H and the MOST important message from me to you... The night I received my 90 day chip in my home group, a one armed old timer was given a real gold necklace with her gold-plated medallion hanging from it. I was in awe. Me, here w/3 months and this woman had been sober for 30 years. Yes, these medallions are not for anything I've done. They are for that newcomer that might be in the room that night. I know people in the rooms say this all the time. But I have experienced it as a newcomer and this comes w/love from my heart. :42:

[MajestyJo]

When my health allows me to get there, I go to an AA noon meeting and an Al-Anon noon meeting.

I chair an online meeting every Wednesday night at another site. Someone started it, passed it over to me, and didn't come back, so I am keeping it going. I figured it was meant to be.

The medallion isn't for me, it is for the new people, and those who are struggling to show that if you hang in there, one day at a time, it works. I keep going to go to NA to pick up my key tag, but just haven't made it there yet. It is close, but I just can't seem to get out the door. I use to play bridge all the time Friday, but don't play that often any more. Still trying to think things out, just turned it over, and when I know I will know if I am suppose to.

[saved1]

Surviving the Holidays: :281:
From Buddy T.

You are in recovery, you are not in prison. Remember to not take yourself so seriously, and have a good time. The holidays can be fun, if you choose to look for the fun parts and ignore the pitfalls. :idea:

It's Okay to Celebrate! :cool:

We spend so much time trying to help those who struggle with the holidays, that sometimes we forget that for most people in recovery, it's a joyful, happy time and a reason to celebrate. :15:

Tips From Others in Recovery. :4Comfort:

Laughter and Fellowship
This will be a pleasure to respond to. I will be celebrating my 5th sober Christmas this year! Yippee!
Last night we had our annual "Holiday Eating Meeting" at my AA home group. There were about 35 adults and 12 children in attendance. It looked like any ordinary family gathering! (Our Al-Anon wives/husbands and Alateen children were there as well). Everyone brought their favorite covered dish.....everything from shrimp gumbo to ham, veggies, salads, breads and loads of desserts! Yes, we do love our sweets!

In keeping with our traditions we began this feast by saying a silent prayer to ourselves to thank our individual "higher power" for whatever we are grateful for... then we all said the Serenity Prayer and the eating began! The laughter and fellowship was terrific.

Many of us stayed for the AA meeting afterward. Since it was an open meeting many of the Al-Anon members stayed as well... some children too.

We did the same thing during the Thanksgiving holiday. We had a "Gratitude Eating Meeting". It was a happy and joyous time with our families and friends, in and out of AA.

There are so many wonderful events going on this time of year. Our children are putting on Christmas plays... our churches are doing concerts and usually a parade or two to watch. I personally love to ride around the neighborhoods in the evenings to check out all the decorations and lights! (Some of our neighbors are surely in competition)! I load up the car with who ever wants to go and the Ohhhh's and Ahhhh's are a hoot.

As you know, not everyone in my family is in recovery and that is a little sad, but I don't let them stop me from enjoying this time of year. I am so blessed that I am sober and alive I intend to do what ever it takes to have fun. Too many years went by either not remembering or being sad and depressed. My higher power, the One I choose to call God gave me a new life. I try to do what ever it takes to "live" and "love" in the grace He so freely gave!

May God bless and keep you all during this holiday season! Love to all.

Magic

Mrs. Santa
Sure I enjoy the holidays! In the past, my late hubby was the community Santa and I was Mrs. Santa. We had our own costumes, too! What fun we had! There was an annual Christmas Party at our community hall, Santa would arrive and I'd meet him at the door, talk about his trip down from the North Pole and then take his gift bag into the kitchen.
The other moms and I would take out "newspaper stuffing" and put in gifts parents had already brought to the hall. Santa would walk around talking to kids and looking at whatever little craft they'd made at the tables we'd set up. Oh, the looks on those little kids' faces! Awesome!

Well, the first Christmas after my hubby passed away was looking kind of dismal. We just couldn't get into the spirit of the season. The community party was just around the corner {we hold it quite early in December}, and our postmaster agreed to be Santa IF I'd be Mrs. Claus again. It was wonderful! The little ones were just as excited and we had just as much fun. Yes, there were tears to be sure, but they were good ones -- not dismal at all.

This year, the party was cancelled. No big problem, these things happen from time to time. I know it will be up and running again next year. But who was I going to play Mrs. Santa for? Well, I'm working part-time at a police station now and what do you know but our Corporal wanted to hand out joke gifts as Santa during the annual Christmas Party ... Hey! Can I be Mrs. Claus for you, I asked? The party was last night, he and I had such fun. His wife was half killing herself laughing over the foolishness and everyone else enjoyed it, too.

I guess all this is about renewal -- sad, tragic things do happen all year long. Just because a holiday gets associated with problems, doesn't mean we have to give in to that sadness. I needed to renew my faith in life and the celebration of it. I did it ... and I pray others can too.

Luv ya,
Roser

*Show Gratitude*, thru a act of kindness.:1:

Helping Others :170:

The best and most rewarding holiday I have spent sober was the first one. I volunteered to help cook and serve Christmas dinner to the homeless. They got a super dinner and I got the joy of sharing in the true spirit of this time of year.
This year I am spending Christmas with program friends in Washington D.C. It`s a miracle to see many of us who began our recovery together still active in AA, still sober years later.

Happy Holidays!

Carol


A Spiritual Time
I love the Christmas season! For me it is a very spiritual time. I enjoy the hustle and bustle, the anticipation and all that goes along with it.
Since I've become sober, it's my favorite time of the year. I love to pass these good feelings along to everyone I come in contact with. There's nothing better than to get back the smile I give.

I spend a lot of time with my Higher Power and I'm very grateful to be sober today! So...A Very Merry Christmas To All!

Libby


Peace on Earth
Around the holiday season I'd dwell on the past, which is a set up for another path of destruction, for my self, and everyone else around me.
I now try to focus on the good, and what they mean, PEACE ON EARTH kindness towards one another, caring for poor souls less fortunate than I.

It seems to be working for me. If I did this every day, I'd be a much better person [I'm working on it].

Love to all,
Jon

[saved1]

Maintain Abstinence
Important Factor in Successful Recovery
By Buddy T.

If you are trying to maintain abstinence from drugs or alcohol, it is very important that you develop positive, healthy relationships to support you during your recovery process. For most people who go through a professional rehab program, that can mean having to make an entire set of new friends.
Avoiding your former drinking buddies or drug-using friends is a key step in maintaining your recovery, but it doesn't stop there. Developing new positive friendships with people who can support your recovery efforts can be even more important.:281:

Avoiding Toxic Relationships
If you are like many alcoholics or addicts, you probably progressed to the point that your primary relationship was with your drug of choice. As your addiction deepened, your behavioral repertoire began to narrow so that you spent more of your time and effort with drug- or alcohol-related activities.
If you had any friends left, they were more than likely those you associated with to obtain your drug, maintain your supply or those you simply drank or used drugs with. For someone trying to maintain recovery, relationships with those former associates can be extremely toxic.

Codependent Relationships
It is possible that during the development of your addiction you also formed relationships with others who were codependent, perhaps a spouse, friend or even an employer. The National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) defines codependents as individuals who have "learned to believe that love, acceptance, security, and approval are contingent upon taking care of the addict in the way the addict wishes."
The danger involved in having a relationship with someone who exhibits this type of excessive caregiving behavior is it can promote even greater dependency on your part. Codependents have allowed you to define their reality, and if you are an alcoholic or addict, your "reality" was highly distorted during your drinking or drugging days.

Enabling Relationships
Many times codependents exhibit enabling behavior by either directly or indirectly encouraging you to continue drinking or doing drugs. Enabling can take many forms. Enabling behavior can range from making excuses, lying and covering up for you - protecting you from the consequences of your actions - to outright furnishing you with money for drugs or alcohol.
Of course, those "friends" with whom you formerly drank, who supplied you with drugs or who used drugs with you, are your primary enablers. These two types of unhealthy behavior, codependency and enabling behavior, can contribute to you deciding to go back to drinking or doing drugs, research shows.

Developing Healthy Relationships
If you are in follow-up care with your professional rehab program, your counselor will try to help you identify any damaging or unhealthy relationships in your life that could cause you to relapse. The counselor will help you work toward changing those relationships and your involvement in them.
You counselor or caseworker will also try to help you identify any positive, healthy family or social relationships that you have that can be a support to you in your recovery. If you have no relationships with people who don't drink or use drugs, your counselor will strongly recommend that you begin to develop new relationships.

Making New Friends
Many times these new, healthy relationships are formed through participation in mutual support groups - in fellowships such as Alcoholic Anonymous. Your counselor will also encourage you to find new relationships within any religious organizations you may be associated with or even recreational organizations.
Finding new friends in recovery is described in 12-step support groups as "sticking with the winners," a slogan that emphasizes the importance of healthy relationships in trying to maintain abstinence.

Sources:

National Institute on Drug Abuse. "Principles of Drug Addiction Treatment: A Research Based Guide." Revised 2007.

National Institute on Drug Abuse. "An Individual Drug Counseling Approach to Treat Cocaine Addiction: The Collaborative Cocaine Treatment Study Model." Accessed May 2009.

[soberone]

Great Stuff! thank you Chance for posting! :11:

[saved1]

Being honest in AA

I was talking to a woman at my meeting last night who had just come back from a relapse. Here’s how she explained it: “I worked steps, and I was sponsoring people, but my life wasn’t perfect. I had a lot of problems, and I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone about them. They expected me to be happy with my new life. I didn’t want to let them down.”

So instead of being honest, she took a handful of pills.

Another guy in the same meeting a week earlier said this during his share: “I know what you all are going to think, and you’re going to say I’m not working a good program, but I was crying in my car and I felt like having a drink.”

He was being honest in spite of his perception that this meeting was not the safest place to tell the truth.

It’s an easy mistake to make—thinking that you shouldn’t be honest in AA. I’ve made that one a number of times myself.

I remember going to my first meeting after taking my 7th step and feeling like a spiritual failure because I wasn’t perfectly pure in my thinking. I’d expected to be more radically transformed than I was, and I thought I owed my home group an apology. I didn’t say a word.

Later in sobriety, I hit some hard times and started getting screwy ideas about how I was supposed to be in meetings: “I can’t share these problems with anyone,” I thought. “I have to carry a message of hope.”

Writing about this now, I’m reminded of my Grandma’s friend who always had to have a perfectly clean car or else she wouldn’t be “a good testimony to the pagans.”

Religious people have been making this mistake for thousands of years. They try to look holy instead of being honest and letting God help them out.

We make the same mistake when we think we’re supposed to look like the solution instead of living the solution. We say things we think will make the program look good instead of being honest about our recent mistakes and how God carried us through.

That’s what newcomers need. They don’t need a bunch of old timers that got one thing right a long time ago. They need people who are willing to demonstrate how this program can be applied to real problems in their lives.

If all we ever share about is how God got us sober all those years ago, people who pull six months together will think that’s all the program is good for—God gets you dry, and then you’re on your own.

In order to keep the program alive, we have to share what God is doing for us today.

And in order to be honest about your current relationship with God, you have to have a current relationship with God.

If that relationship isn’t expanding into new areas in my life, if I’m not turning over new resentments and fears and making new amends, if I’m not reaching out in new ways to make conscious contact, then I don’t have anything fresh to share about, and so I fall back on the same stories about what God did for me once upon a time.

Those are good stories. Important stories. Maybe even my most important stories. But they are not current. If I rely on them too long, they lose their vitality completely.

After my conversation with the woman who relapsed, I was reminded of a guy from my home group who practiced this better than I think I’ve ever seen since. When he chaired a meeting, he’d read a bit of the book, and he’d read it nice and slow. You could see it working on him when he read, like he was taking in each word and letting it speak to him. Suddenly, something would hit him, and he’d chuckle: “Uh oh. It got me again,” he’d say. Then he’d share about how what we’d just read applied to something in his recent experience.

He’d tell us about his family life, his resentments, his frustrations at work, his temptations and his pains, never losing sight of God’s role in the story. He would tell us how he got into a fit of self-will and self-pity, and how God lovingly pulled him out of it again. “I can’t go anywhere alone,” he once told me, referring to his relationship with God, “I need a chaperone.”

He was actively developing his relationship with God and consistently saw his current struggles in the book. When he opened his life to the book, God would show him something he needed to share.

Honesty like that runs deep. It carries a message with the necessary “depth and weight.”

So many of us get stuck on the surface. On alcohol.

Then we get together in meetings where we share a solution to alcohol, but not a solution to life. And people start feeling that maybe they’d better not talk about that problem their having, or the fact that they want to drink.

Last night, we read over the beginning of “More About Alcoholism,” and I had to laugh out loud. The book got me.

The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker….

Here’s how my “current” version read: The idea that somehow, someday, he will control his wife is the great obsession of every spiritually sick husband. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing…

See, I copped a pretty big resentment against my wife yesterday. And the persistence of the illusion that I was right was truly astonishing. It’s hard for me to believe that anyone, could be as deluded and as bull-headed as I was yesterday.

What a jerk.

Thank God for prayer and inventory…
(SHARE) Becoming Recovered.:281:

1775

[MajestyJo]

Have the receipt on one of my sites. It gives me goose bumps every time I see it.

[veer12]

In this daily fast going lifestyle. There are number of people need to Sober. This post is really very helpful for those people. Exercise and yoga are the best things which will help to get the piece of Sober.