On the Fence

[Nikole]

Tired of breaking commitments to myself. I have really been struggling. I am not looking for answers, just some understanding and prayer. I strive to be the best person I can, but there are certain things I just cannot let go of. I am new to this, so that's all for now. Glad this is available.

[captpaulge]

Nikole thanks for sharing your sobriety today. A moment at a time, staying sober, doing the next right thing. Get to as many meetings as you can, reach out and ask for help. Do not be afraid, we have all been where you are and will understand and help if you ask. We can't read minds, but we do want to help. Talk about how you feel. Little by slow things get better.

[MajestyJo]

Thank you for sharing Nikole. I think we have all been there. I found it good for me to go to a meeting, and 7 times out of 10, I heard what I needed to hear about my own issues, and the other 3 times I needed to hear, whether it was my issue at the time or not. I had either already been there or hadn't got there yet.

I don't get out to meetings that much because of health issues. I really miss them, especially discussion meetings. My best thinking got me to the doors of recovery, when I isolate and stay at home, all I am left with are my own thoughts, only my input and my experience, strength and hope. If something is outside of my range of experience, how am I suppose to know? How can you know what you have never been taught? How can you figure out something you know nothing about? I never allowed myself to feel, so how am I suppose to deal with them when I haven't felt them before. I went to meetings, listened to others, identified with what they said, and listened to their solution or the solution from another member attending the meeting.

If I share at a meeting and there are only 5 people there, I still only have to take home 1/5 of my burden home with me.

Feel free to share and ask questions. Feel free to private message anyone you relate to if you want feedback or the experience, strength and hope of another member.

[Pythonpappy]

Welcome Nikole, ... Glad you're with us ... Oh boy, breaking commitments is something I got very good at ... It got to where nobody could depend on me for anything, I couldn't even depend on myself ... It's a pretty useless feeling, isn't it ...

Great news, you don't ever have to feel like that ever again, as long as you're willing to put in the same effort working this program as the effort you put into staying 'high' ...

You said: I am not looking for answers, just some understanding and prayer. I strive to be the best person I can, but there are certain things I just cannot let go of.


Answers to solving your dependency on drugs and alcohol are what we have ... the soultion you're actually seeking ...

Understanding? I told my sponsor, I do not understand, he said, and that's it and don't you ever forget it ... He said that no matter what's going on in your life, you do not understand ... and when you stop trying to understand, then you can enjoy it .... He also said, that no matter what your situation is, it's not the situation, it's not him, it's not her, it's not God, it's you that must become different, different than you have ever been before ...

Prayer? : we do it daily and we will certainly keep you in our prayers ... Prayer works!

If there are certain things you cannot let go of then you're not really wanting to change your life, because, if you keep doing the things you've always done, then you'll keep getting the things you've always gotten ... You don't have to make all these changes all at once ... this is a program of progress not perfection, and we do it a little at a time and we progress day by day and come to enjoy a fulfilling life that most of us were totally unaware of ...

Keep coming back, never give up ... your miracle awaits you ...


Love You and God Bless, :42:
Pythonpappy

[admin]

Hey Nikole, I understand and I am praying for you. Keep coming back and letting us know how you are doing. We care. I know how much it helps me to have others to talk to. Take it one day at a time - breaking that down into minutes and seconds if you have to. Just for today - this 24 hours - don't drink or use. :42:

[soberone]

Tired of breaking commitments to myself. I have really been struggling. I am not looking for answers, just some understanding and prayer. I strive to be the best person I can, but there are certain things I just cannot let go of. I am new to this, so that's all for now. Glad this is available.

Welcome Nikole! you sound a LOT like me when i first tried to get sober! was it easy? (ha,ha) um.. NO! was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY! :wink:

[Mountainman]

but there are certain things I just cannot let go of

welcome

I have found that
so many of the things about me which I wish to change
I just can not no matter how much I try -- change them
I truly need Gods help and ask him for that

seek God with ((all)) of our hearts
sounds so simple
I have found it not to be
one must be willing

MM

[Roger w]

Welcome Nikole we have a few things in common I untill recently was in the fence and we both joined in Nov. I made a stand for to be clean no mo wishywashy. You found the place to be thoughts/ prayers.out