Take what you want and leave the rest

[David Loughran]

In my area the new commer is often told take out what u want and leave the rest dont go near the B B it will get you drunk. If that was the case when I was drinking I would have broke into every book shop that had the B B in stock and stole the lot! other things there told is wait untill your head clears up so dont worry about the Program yet every meeting I have attended since 1983 reads how it works, which states we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start! "take what you want and leave the rest" Here are the steps that we took! " take what u want and leave the restdoes not come into it the most dangerous statment they tell newcommers is the steps are just suggestions which is so wrong our book states clearly here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery so therefore it is a suggested Program which contains 12 steps the steps are not suggested the program is God Bless and guide all of us

[angussdundee]

David,
I've been to those meetings and like you, I became very uncomfortable with the unchallengeable dogma that was and still is on offer there. I must say though, it learnt me a great deal about my own tollerance level and it hit home that I am indeed powerless over other peoples opinions, both in and out of AA :D
I had to seek out other meetings and a wise and compassionate sponsor who genuinely understood the big book. How can anyone pass on this message if they "don't go near the Big Book, and don't worry about the program" ??? Thats a recipy for a very difficult, if not impossible recovery!
The sponsor I found cleared up all the 'AA myths' that were and still are doing the rounds by just sitting, talking and gently going through each step in turn. Here are some of the 'suggestions' he made to me - I hope you find them helpfull ;)....

" The AA program was not designed for clear thinking, intellectual alcoholics, but for drunks; many of them only a few days of the drink.
Remember, it had to be 'simple' these men and women were too sick for anything difficult".

"The steps are healing steps; they will not change anything in us that we do not want to change. There are many AA members who have done their steps; there aren't many saints"!

"Nowhere in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous does it say that we have to understand the steps in order to do them. When Dr Bob & Bill W took alcoholics who had only been sober a couple of weeks through the program I feel sure that these sick men had not been required to understand the programe BEFORE they did it. Understanding comes from the practice of the steps never before. We do not wait untill we understand the steps, we do the steps, understanding comes later".

"The Prime responsibility of an AA sponsor, I believe, Is to guide his or her candidate through the twelve step program. I've heard it so many times - 'My sponsor told me to go back to step one' - never have I heard what they were supposed to do once they got there. Perhaps this is 'tough love' ???.. I think the truth is, it usualy means that the sponsor is unsure what to do next because he mistakenly listend to his sponsors advice and 'took what he wanted and left the rest'.

" A sponsor who has not himself been guided through the steps is like the blind leading the blind; sooner or later, they will both fall of the edge of the cliff. If we really want to get well we need to find somebody who is himself or herself well. That person has invariably completed the twelve-step program".

"If you have decided you want what we have got and are willing to go to any lenght to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps...SIMPLE!

God helps us all,
Anguss

[David Loughran]

Anguss thanks for your reply you made a lot of sense I have been sober since 1983 and its still going on more so in the Glasgow Area I have just heard some sad news Johny T an old timer has sadly passed away he was a lovely man and helped a lot of people keep him in your prayers please :'(

[angussdundee]

David,
I know some Glasgow lads now living and staying sober further South. I will ask around and pass on your sad news to them if they have had the fortunate pleasure of meeting and listening to Johnny T. The fact that he died sober is testiment that this program works under any conditions. We recently lost another great old timer in our area, Mike L also know as Mike the pill, and the church was full to the gunnel's with smiling, gratefull, sober alcoholics all there to pay their last respects to a man who could die from cancer yet still attend AA meetings with dignity almost to the very end and who was ready and willing to walk with his maker to a better place. What an inspiration....

God, help us all to be greatfull for the guidance and example of our AA old timers.

anguss

[alfee]

i agree with most everything above...another thing i hear a lot that i've never read in any text, is to fake it till you make it...i hate that slogan.

[Rene]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

You can observe a lot just by watching.
--Yogi Berra

When we watch others; we learn how to "act as if." We watch a patient person and then we "act as if" we're a patient person. The result? Over time, we'll become a patient person. We watch how good listeners listen, and we "act as if" we know how to listen. Then one day, we realize we're really listening! We watch people who have faith, and we "act as if" we have it. Then over time, we become spiritual people!

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me find You in the people and events of my day.

Action for the Day

I will "act as if" my Higher Power is standing next to me all through the day.

[twelve]

There is absolutely nothing "wrong" with someone taking what they want and leaving the rest - they simply will probably not recover from alcoholism...