Finding Serenity

[JanetL]

Went to a speaker meeting last night and here is what I got out of it:

- Sobriety is progressive. We don’t immediately become willing & accepting, able to live in the moment. It takes time & practice.
- It is important to practice the program in good, peaceful times as well as challenging times. Don’t get complacent. It will bite you in the ass.
- There will be times when I may feel like I’m going crazy (very frightening). I’m not. It’s part of the process. Have faith.
- Keep it simple. Don’t analyze everything to its last detail.

The chair also made a comment at the end that stuck with me. “Bring the body and the mind will follow”. It may take a few years for the mind to catch up. But be certain: Serenity does come.

To distill what I learned down to a few words: Hard work. Patience. Faith.

When I joined AA, I think I was expecting a quicker fix, looking to become an “instant oldtimer.” I don’t know when I will find the true serenity that I am seeking. Yes, I can work hard on my program, my spiritual growth. But the timeframe isn’t really up to me – it’s up to the Creator. I have to learn to accept this as reality. There is a certain peace that comes with this acceptance.

In one respect, this may not sound very hopeful to the newcomer (“What? It may take years?”). However, I do believe that serenity is all but guaranteed – with hard work, patience, and faith. I'll get there.

I’m wondering if others share the experiences of the speaker I heard last night. When did you find true serenity or are you still working towards it?

Love,
Janet

[Pythonpappy]

Went to a speaker meeting last night and here is what I got out of it:

- Sobriety is progressive. We don’t immediately become willing & accepting, able to live in the moment. It takes time & practice.
- It is important to practice the program in good, peaceful times as well as challenging times. Don’t get complacent. It will bite you in the ass.
- There will be times when I may feel like I’m going crazy (very frightening). I’m not. It’s part of the process. Have faith.
- Keep it simple. Don’t analyze everything to its last detail.

The chair also made a comment at the end that stuck with me. “Bring the body and the mind will follow”. It may take a few years for the mind to catch up. But be certain: Serenity does come.

To distill what I learned down to a few words: Hard work. Patience. Faith.

When I joined AA, I think I was expecting a quicker fix, looking to become an “instant oldtimer.” I don’t know when I will find the true serenity that I am seeking. Yes, I can work hard on my program, my spiritual growth. But the timeframe isn’t really up to me – it’s up to the Creator. I have to learn to accept this as reality. There is a certain peace that comes with this acceptance.

In one respect, this may not sound very hopeful to the newcomer (“What? It may take years?”). However, I do believe that serenity is all but guaranteed – with hard work, patience, and faith. I'll get there.

I’m wondering if others share the experiences of the speaker I heard last night. When did you find true serenity or are you still working towards it?

Love,
Janet

Okay BooBoo, ... Here goes: To me Serenity is a Journey of a lifetime ... Consider this ... You make a 'DECISION' to travel to the West coast or the East coast of the U.S. or perhaps to the beautiful Canadian Provinces ... DO YOU JUST JUMP IN YOUR CAR AND TAKE OFF??? ... Unless your a total idiot, of course not ... 1st you would take 'ACTION' to insure you're success with minimal problems ... you would have your car serviced, oil changed, tires checked, fluid levels tested or checked, all lights working properly, tank full of gas, etc. ... and periodically you'd stop and fill the tank with gas and recheck the 'maintenance' needs of your vehicle ... This is what we do to make sure we arrive at our 'destination' ...

Now you tell me ... Just how is our journey to where 'peace and serenity' exist, any different? ... Did we not make a 'decision'? ... Did we not take 'action'? ... Do we not go to meetings and chat on these forums for 'maintenance' of our program(our very souls)? ... When we chose God as a destination did we think we could get to Him without doing exactly what the steps teach us? ... Make a Decision ... Take Action ... do Maintenance to stay the course with minimum difficulties ...

I was the 'discussion leader' in our meeting last night ... the topic I introduced was 'spirituality' ... I asked the question; Did God lead you to AA or did AA lead you to God ... (I know, I did qualify it as suggesting the older members could enlighten the newer ones, because let's face it, most new-comers are not ready to get too deep into the God idea) ...

On that line of thinking, I merely stated that the whole purpose of the BB was to make spirituality the number one focus of our recovery, starting with step 3 and then topped off with steps 10, 11, and 12 ...

As we become more God conscious we see the promises coming true in our lives ... as our conscious contact with God becomes a daily habit, we start to realize that He really is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves ... and we see that the situations which used to confuse the sh*t out of us(baffle)? all of a sudden we know how to handle them ... We don't feel useless anymore nor do we have the 'self-pity' that almost killed us ... That is how we start feeling if we 'honestly' work the program as they have told us to do ... I am living proof of that ...


TIME? ... Of course it takes time ... Let's just enjoy being sober 'today' and start smelling the roses before time becomes something we just ran out of! ...


Love you more than you can imagine, God Bless,
Pappy

P.S. You really do have a way about you that gets me cookin'!!! ... HeeHee ... Love it! :11:

[schell08122008]

Hi everyone! Serenity, today for me is a process..much like admitting I was a drunk..that took several years. I can only have serenity a day at a time right now. There are many difficulties I am facing in sobriety that I have to turn over on a daily basis then take inventory throughout the day..only after I take these steps can I live in serenity. Peace Schell

[marlene damore]

Great topic, Janet. Just as honesty comes in degrees...so does serenity. It was my idea of what serenity means that has changed. So sick and full of self loathing I was at first that my idea of serenity of unrealistic. At the beginning, I too wanted to be an instant oldtimer. I wanted to be anybody but me. Yet it is just that that kept me coming back...I wanted what that oldtimer had...and I did not want to be me. And in time and in my experience over many 24 hours I have learned that we all have our own journey...our own journey out there and our own journey in recovery. The solution for recovery is the same but we have our own journey. Today I have my own journey and understand that it is the journey not the destination.
Early on I had no clue of this serenity business. It was all I could do to not use let alone begin to understand serenity. I fought the obsession to use for a long time. Yet I noticed a sense of serenity with every victorious day of not using. On my knees in prayer and gratitude to God...slowly I was returned to sanity and slowly the obsession was lifted and slowly I experienced degrees of serenity. That is the gift for all of us...that time in the beginning with no understanding that good is possible for us yet with desperate understanding that if we drink we die. And for me...blindly blindly praying to who and for what I did not know but you told me to pray. And I prayed and I came to know and I came to understand that all things are possible with God. And I have experience now for those times of trouble and desperation and fear to not know what is going to become of me but to lean on God's understanding. What a miracle it is to be in the middle of life's troubles and experience serenity. God is good all of the time. And God works for the good in all things. God made us to live in 24 hour periods. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow belongs to God. My work is what is in front of me today. I pray for serenity for today just as I pray to carry out God's will for me today. I am far from perfect...it is hard work to get out of God's way. And my experience has been to put on the armor of God everyday because that devil loves to attack us that are on God's side.
For me serenity comes in different forms...that feeling with deep conviction that I am doing God's will for me even in the middle of such difficulty. Words cannot express that feeling.

[Pythonpappy]

Great topic, Janet. Just as honesty comes in degrees...so does serenity. It was my idea of what serenity means that has changed. So sick and full of self loathing I was at first that my idea of serenity of unrealistic. At the beginning, I too wanted to be an instant oldtimer. I wanted to be anybody but me. Yet it is just that that kept me coming back...I wanted what that oldtimer had...and I did not want to be me. And in time and in my experience over many 24 hours I have learned that we all have our own journey...our own journey out there and our own journey in recovery. The solution for recovery is the same but we have our own journey. Today I have my own journey and understand that it is the journey not the destination.
Early on I had no clue of this serenity business. It was all I could do to not use let alone begin to understand serenity. I fought the obsession to use for a long time. Yet I noticed a sense of serenity with every victorious day of not using. On my knees in prayer and gratitude to God...slowly I was returned to sanity and slowly the obsession was lifted and slowly I experienced degrees of serenity. That is the gift for all of us...that time in the beginning with no understanding that good is possible for us yet with desperate understanding that if we drink we die. And for me...blindly blindly praying to who and for what I did not know but you told me to pray. And I prayed and I came to know and I came to understand that all things are possible with God. And I have experience now for those times of trouble and desperation and fear to not know what is going to become of me but to lean on God's understanding. What a miracle it is to be in the middle of life's troubles and experience serenity. God is good all of the time. And God works for the good in all things. God made us to live in 24 hour periods. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow belongs to God. My work is what is in front of me today. I pray for serenity for today just as I pray to carry out God's will for me today. I am far from perfect...it is hard work to get out of God's way. And my experience has been to put on the armor of God everyday because that devil loves to attack us that are on God's side.
For me serenity comes in different forms...that feeling with deep conviction that I am doing God's will for me even in the middle of such difficulty. Words cannot express that feeling.

Marlene, ... Bill Wilson could have written an entire book on this subject alone ... I feel 'serenity' is a gift from God when we have been lifted on the upper planes of spiritual understanding thru prayer ... Please refer to the 'Thread' in the 'Spiritual recovery' forum titled with 'Peacemakers' ...

The great essential for success in prayer --- for obtaining that sense of the Presence of God, which is the secret of healing oneself and others too; of obtaining inspiration, which is the breath of the soul; of acquiring spiritual development --- is that we first attain some degree of true ‘peace of mind’ … This true, interior soul-peace was known to the mystics as serenity, and they are never tired of telling us that serenity is the grand ‘passport’ to the Presence of God.

This is not to say that one cannot overcome even the most serious difficulties by prayer without having any serenity at all, for of course one can … In fact, the greater the trouble one is in, the less serenity he will be able to have, and serenity itself is only to be had by prayer, and by the forgiving of others and oneself … But serenity you must have, before you can make any true spiritual progress; and it is serenity, that fundamental tranquility of soul, that Jesus refers to by the word “peace” --- the peace that passes all human understanding.

I don't feel that serenity is something we earn, it's something we're granted after we raise our 'thinking' habits to the level of understanding that Jesus tried His best to teach us ... Easy? ... NO ... even the apostles struggled with their own faith and desire to understand ... and they were actually with Jesus at the time ... It wasn't till after He was gone did they come close to understanding the importance of a conscious open line of communication to God thru prayer ... then they were granted peace and serenity from God to endure the persecutions to come to them by teaching Christ's message ...

I feel that one reaches the place of serenity by working Step 11 .. in earnest .. when we reach the point where we know that there's more at work in our lives than God's presence, that there is something at work on a 'universal plane' that no human can fully describe, then the door opens for us to live in serenity ... and until we give ourselves over to this 'power of God' totally, there'll be no lasting peace, no serenity ... We must 'let go' and 'let God' (not just a little bit, totally)... (many times each day)

Anytime I don't feel peace and serenity in my life, it turns out to always be something I won't let go of ... Plain & Simple!

Love you and the group, God Bless,:42:
Pythonpappy

[JanetL]

Yesterday had been a bad day for me...a slump day. And although I had gone to 2 meetings... something was off with me. I was not happy.

I talked to my sponser about it, and she told me, that not ever day is going to be wonderful, nor is it suppose to. Duh, I knew that, but I still wasn't very accepting of that fact. It was just an off day for me.

I realized, that I had filled my days up with drinking (in my room) for so long that I did not know what to do with all that idle time. So I went for a long walk and I went to that meeting...Last night, I remembered what my moma used to tell me...
"Go to sleep now, things will be better tomorrow." And just like when I was a kid, today certainly is a much better day. Days like yesterday are challenging.

Something I'm not working on, or not letting go of Goober? You are most likely right. I just couldn't put a finger on it. I think it is time for me to do some more personal inventory.

I went to the flea market and farmers market this morning. I sold a few things at the flea market and I enjoyed the people I saw and just people watching. (and I THOUGHT I WAS FAT!) Oh, well who am I? Anyway, I bought two big pumpkins and some apples. Think I'll make an apple pie today. I need to go to the grocery store also. My son needs a ride to his friends house
and my daughter is doing the laundry for me today...what a big help that is.

My soon to be ex came by begging for something last night I could not give him. I have a soft spot for him,but I cannot live with him anymore or anything else. I should not care at all after all he has put me thru, and he was pretty buzzed last night too. I don't want to be around that anymore. It is not good for me.

Anyway, thank you all so much for your input on this topic. I needed to hear your take on it, when I couldn't see the forest for the trees yesterday.

Love to all,
JanetL

[Pythonpappy]

Yesterday had been a bad day for me...a slump day. And although I had gone to 2 meetings... something was off with me. I was not happy.

I talked to my sponser about it, and she told me, that not ever day is going to be wonderful, nor is it suppose to. Duh, I knew that, but I still wasn't very accepting of that fact. It was just an off day for me.

I realized, that I had filled my days up with drinking (in my room) for so long that I did not know what to do with all that idle time. So I went for a long walk and I went to that meeting...Last night, I remembered what my moma used to tell me...
"Go to sleep now, things will be better tomorrow." And just like when I was a kid, today certainly is a much better day. Days like yesterday are challenging.

Something I'm not working on, or not letting go of Goober? You are most likely right. I just couldn't put a finger on it. I think it is time for me to do some more personal inventory.

I went to the flea market and farmers market this morning. I sold a few things at the flea market and I enjoyed the people I saw and just people watching. (and I THOUGHT I WAS FAT!) Oh, well who am I? Anyway, I bought two big pumpkins and some apples. Think I'll make an apple pie today. I need to go to the grocery store also. My son needs a ride to his friends house
and my daughter is doing the laundry for me today...what a big help that is.

My soon to be ex came by begging for something last night I could not give him. I have a soft spot for him,but I cannot live with him anymore or anything else. I should not care at all after all he has put me thru, and he was pretty buzzed last night too. I don't want to be around that anymore. It is not good for me.

Anyway, thank you all so much for your input on this topic. I needed to hear your take on it, when I couldn't see the forest for the trees yesterday.

Love to all,
JanetL

What's up BooBoo, :confused: ... (hold on a minute, I saw that crazy 'icon' with the coffee mug, now I want some coffee, be back shortly) ... Ok, coffee's perking, I'm good to go ...

1st, have you read the entries on the 'Peacemakers' and the 'meek' yet? (Spiritual Recovery heading) ... This may help us to better grasp our position in this life so that we can better determine, not only what's missing, but get a handle on just where to set our goals ...

When we choose a temporary sponsor, it's just that, temporary ... It could be time to consider a different sponsor, if so, just try and see if you can find someone who places spirituality (God consciousness) at the top of their list in working their program ... (I'm changing sponsors for this very reason ... I have outgrown my current sponsor in terms of his inspiration to me) ... Sometimes a new set of eyes can see things in us we don't realize ... One of my sponsees came to me 'cause nobody else would sponsor him, I knew why shortly afterward, but hey, it's all about us trying to help each other ... So I worked with him daily and did the 90-in-90 with him ... Amazing what you can learn about yourself thru someone else.

He was difficult and caused me great concern at times, but his thought process showed me what my personal problems were too ... He picks up his 'two year' medallion in three weeks! ... Do you have sponsees? ... I find they'll teach you more about how you're doing in your program than just about anything else! ... Great stuff! (go to private conversation section if you rather expand on this privately)

Hey, I just had a thought, I'm only like 5 or 6 hours from your location, did you say there was 'PIE' ?? ... Today's my birthday(belly-button), and I'm all alone ... and pie might be worth the trip ...

Seriously, if you're not comfortable in your own skin sometimes, that's perfectly normal ... It happens to me sometimes when I try to 'over-analyze' stuff or make up stuff that doesn't really exist ... I have to remind myself that 'no matter what's going on in my life, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND', then I let what ever it is go and go on about my day ... works for me!!!

Okay, now the coffee's begging to come back out ... HEY, did you ever realize, well for me anyway, that you can drink 2 cups of coffee and pee out 5 ??? ... What's up with that? ... (I could drink a 12pk of beer and only pee once ... what makes coffee so different?)

Gotta hurry, Love ya, bye:42:
Oh, and God Bless,
Pappy

[saved1]

Like Canada geese, we believers flock together, strengthening our spiritual wings and encouraging one another.
By Alma Barkman



The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever. —Psalm 121:8 (NAS)

A conservation area about four miles from our house serves as a staging ground for thousands of Canada geese getting ready for their annual migration south. Beginning about the middle of September, their V-formation flight patterns fill the sky, some flocks consisting of only six or eight birds, others made up of fifty or sixty, always with a lead goose out in front.

When the lead goose tires and slows down, it drops to the back of the flock, where the slipstream from the wings of the other geese gives it a flight advantage, and another goose gracefully takes up the lead position.

Ornithologists calculate that the geese can fly 70 percent farther by doing this. The ever-changing formations are fascinating to watch. And even in the dark of night or when a low cloud ceiling obscures our view, we know the geese are flying because of their loud honking. It’s as if each one is so eager about the prospects of the journey that it can’t contain its enthusiasm.

It occurred to me one fall Sunday morning that church is a kind of staging ground for heaven. As “birds of a feather,” believers flock together week by week, strengthening our spiritual wings and encouraging one another in preparation for that final flight. When one of us becomes weary, another steps in to take the weary one’s place. I fully believe that the prayer support of fellow believers has often provided the wind beneath my wings.:42:

Thank You, Lord, for letting me team up with Your followers wherever my journey happens to take me

[MajestyJo]

Didn't know what it was. Phoned my sponsor and said "Something is wrong."

Serenity can be found only within me. No matter what is going on around me, be it a beautiful setting in God's creation or total chaos in the hustle and bustle of today, if I am not at peace within me, it doesn't matter what is going on around me.

I can use the beautify scenary and place to help quiet my mind. The best way for me to do that is to have an attitude of gratitude.

I can balance myself within myself, instead of trying to balance myself with what is going on around me. I often need to detach, not take things personal, and just allow myself to just be even though everyone else around me is hurrying to go about their business. It is their business and not mine to take on.

To find true Serneity, I had to work the Steps. I had to find me. I had to make things right with my God. When things are good between Him and me, what can go wrong?

The hurdle I had to get over to find Serenity was learning to know the difference. As I said on my way to speak at a treatment center, after having a migraine all day, "Ok Big Guy, this one is yours. I am just not up to doing this." He does make a difference.

[Pythonpappy]

Didn't know what it was. Phoned my sponsor and said "Something is wrong."

Serenity can be found only within me. No matter what is going on around me, be it a beautiful setting in God's creation or total chaos in the hustle and bustle of today, if I am not at peace within me, it doesn't matter what is going on around me.

I can use the beautify scenary and place to help quiet my mind. The best way for me to do that is to have an attitude of gratitude.

I can balance myself within myself, instead of trying to balance myself with what is going on around me. I often need to detach, not take things personal, and just allow myself to just be even though everyone else around me is hurrying to go about their business. It is their business and not mine to take on.

To find true Serneity, I had to work the Steps. I had to find me. I had to make things right with my God. When things are good between Him and me, what can go wrong?

To hurdle I had to get over to find Serenity was learning to know the difference. As I said on my way to speak at a treatment center, after having a migraine all day, "Ok Big Guy, this one is yours. I am just not up to doing this." He does make a difference.

Hey Jo, ... When newcomers show up and we ask if they want what we have, they need to take certain steps, ... What we have should show through our character as 'peace of mind and serenity' ... A happiness that they, the newcomer, longs for ... that's the 'IT' in the program ...

We can loose 'IT' if we're not diligent in working our own program toward perfection ... Our meeting last night was on 'depression' (it's been rainy & overcast for days here)(no sun) ... and the 'depression' topic usually pops up as a result ... For about 30 minutes of sharing in low monotone voices than nearly put me to sleep, I'd had enough, the coffee wasn't working and I was starting to get depressed myself just listening to drab accounts of others low spots ... and decided to share myself ... (I carry a loud awakening type voice and can wake the dead if I'm of the mind to)

I said, for me, when the moods of this type start to creep into my thinking, I force myself to 'stop' and make a gratitude list ... it's easy if you honestly try ... and if that doesn't snap me out of my doledrums, then I plot a prank to pull on someone who I think 'good-natured' enough to handle such frivolity ... Jokes on myself or others (in good taste) puts humor into play that makes it impossible to stay depressed ... 'Try It' ... (as 'bluidkiti' says, we are not a 'glum' lot)

I went on to recall a prank I pulled on a member, sitting there in the meeting, some year ago or so ... the laughter took a while to settle down and the rest of the meeting was very light-hearted from those who shared after this ... It was amazing to see the mood of the group actually change in front of my eyes ... (and it continued to drizzle rain outside) ... (Oh, and the member in question went on to share my prank from his point of view and the laughter continued) ...

So, the 'peace & serenity' (true spirituality) that is the 'IT' of the program must, or should, become a part of us, the very essence of our new 'character' so to speak ... 'IT' should become 'WHO' we are ... and when I leave the door open for God to work His miracles through my actions, then 'IT' becomes who I am ...


God Bless us all,:42:
Pythonpappy

[MajestyJo]

My sponsor told me to go to the Palliative Care Unit at the hospital if I couldn't find anything to be grateful for.

[saved1]

By Julia Attaway, September 28, 2011
Years ago I was kneeling in church, holding baby Mary. She moved her head back and forth playfully, trying to get my attention. It made it difficult to see what was going on.

Frustrated, I bobbed my own head around, trying to see past her. And then, just as I thought I’d figured it out and my heart started to focus on the service, smash! Mary’s head crashed—hard—into my nose.

Tears of pain leapt to my eyes. In my heart I seethed, See, Lord? Now my children are even getting in the way of my worship!

An answer came back instantly, infinitely gentle. “No, Julia, you have it all wrong. Your children can never come between us. Don’t go around them to look for me; you need to find me through them.” :1:

Oh. Yes. Of course.

It’s a common mistake: looking at difficulties as obstacles to devotion, rather than as paths on which we meet God. One red flag that we’re trying to stay faithful in spite of troubles instead of through them is when we notice that our prayers focus mainly on making problems go away.:281:

The prayer that helps me get back on track is simple:

Lord, help me grow closer to you in this situation. You are more important than anything that can happen to me

[saved1]

Welcome to Just For Today

Just For Today enriches the lives of thousands of recovering alcoholics and addicts.

Recent Shows
http://alcoholism.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=alcoholism&cdn=health&tm=75&f=00&tt=14&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http://aajustfortoday.org/

Enjoy.:1:

[jonesg]

Serenity, it was there all along but drowned out by my inner noise.
Looking for serenity was like seeking the dark with a floodlight, the harder I looked the less I found.
The experience of serenity came over me exactly as the book told it would, before I was halfway through step 9.
Thats when the God bomb went off and I haven't been the same since.

[Pythonpappy]

Serenity, it was there all along but drowned out by my inner noise.
Looking for serenity was like seeking the dark with a floodlight, the harder I looked the less I found.
The experience of serenity came over me exactly as the book told it would, before I was halfway through step 9.
Thats when the God bomb went off and I haven't been the same since.

Hey jonesg, ... That's one I'll have to remember, ... 'God Bomb' ..., I like it!

I can remember exactly when my 'bomb' went off ... cause I nearly had an accident driving the car to a meeting ... I've been calling it a 'spiritual awakening' but it was really more like a bomb ... been about three years ago but I'll never forget the overpowering sensation that accompanied this 'bomb ... WAM!, and all the pieces of the puzzle seemed to come together and a God I never knew got in that car with me ... It really was a shocking experience ...

Ya know, I try not to advertise that too much, cause for most people, the 'awakening' is more gradual ... and I don't want to suggest that they need something as astounding as we had to 'get-it' ...

'God Bomb'? ... Yes, I really like it, thanks ... I'll have to use that in the next meeting somehow ... HeeHee ...


Welcome to the site and God Bless,:42:
Pythonpappy

[jonesg]

WAM!, and all the pieces of the puzzle seemed to come together Welcome to the site and God Bless,:42:
Pythonpappy

Exactly, just like the promises said, and the puzzle was a puzzle no more.
I could honestly see myself as others did .
And the alien world I lived in started to make sense.