Controlled drinking

[angussdundee]

For the newcomer to AA, or if your just looking around the site for general information about controled drinking for 'a friend' I suggest that you look for controlled drinking under the sign that say's 'Impossible Dreams'. In other words, it does not exist for alcoholics.
It is precisly this fataly misguided illusion that kept many of us from seeking help earlier for our abnormal drinking habits, and one which has led many, many alcoholics to and early grave.
The truth is, it's very rare for anyone with a long term drinking problem to be able to suddenly control their drinking to a safe level.
Why? because the first drink is like the first salted peanut, it always leads to another then another and so on.
There was perhaps a time when we could stop for short, or even long periods of time, but we could never stay stopped. This persistent type of behaviour is in fact, a very good indication that out of controlled drinking, or the disease of alcoholism, is very much present.
The problem with controled drinking is, it's usualy an elaborate trick to convince ourselves that we can 'take it or leave it alone'.
We usualy say something like, "okay, there you go, I've proved that I can control my drinking, so I've proved to everyone who was on my back that I'm not an alcoholic", I can quit if I want to, I just don't want to at this moment in time". Proving that controlled drinking always becomes out of controlled drinking all over again. I know, I was that soldier.

Anguss.

[samf]

It got to when I drank, I could not guarantee my behavior, or guarantee how much I would drink.
I wished I could control and enjoy my drinking, but it didn't work.
I didn't even realize that there might be a problem with my drinking, in my trying so hard to do so.
Thanks so much, Anguss, for what you share.
Samf

[1day2day]

The truth is I was not always an out-of-control drinker. I don't think I was born an alcoholic. I simply believe it was a slow and determined will that got me there. I'm not sure when it occurred. I'm not sure what events, or combination of cocktails finally helped me across the line. I just know that at some point, I knew a change had occurred. As I heard in a meeting this morning, we are like cucumbers stuck in a vat of vinegar. If the cucumber is left in their long enough, it becomes a pickle. Nobody knows when that change occurs, other than it absolutely occurs.

Of course the second side of this analogy is that once a pickle, always a pickle. Though I may have been able to control drink in my past, I have crossed over that line now, and there simply is no going back. Occasionally by sheer will, I could drink normally. But a still-worse event was looming each and every time. When "controlled-drinking" I wanted to sneak off and slam a pint. There was no enjoying it. Really, I just wanted to be as drunk as I wanted to be.

But I am free from that challenge today.

You see, today I woke up and decided I wouldn't take the first drink. That has freed me. There's no reason to head back down the path of experimentation, figuring out if I've gotten this thing figured out in my head enough now that I can go back out and drink like a normal person. It just ain't gonna happen.

As Micky B. says, Once I found myself "broke, busted, disgusted and not to be trusted," I knew I was at the end of my rope, poor in spirit to the extreme.

[WolfM]

Hello Friends,
I believe I was born and alcoholic. And when I took my first drink (at 11) I was on to something that would last for another 23 years. It was not too bad in the early days, but I had my first black out when I was 15. I had my last when I was 34. I am 55 today. I am still an alcoholic. But today, by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA I did not drink today.

Wolf M

[jucluc12]

I can't stop. I'm feeling crappy. I'm retired and drink too much wine. I posted a message here a few month back. My husband is retiring in August this year. We just bought a house in Florida to spend winters there. We both will turn 55 in August 2009. I have 2 beautiful granddaughters whom I adore. I'm afraid that if I don't stop, I won't live long enough to enjoy them. I know I should join AA, but the meetings are at night and I don't drive at night. Daytime meetings are not close to my house. I was told to call AA and they could refer me someone who would help me through this. So afraid. I'm so ashamed!!!! What to do.

[alfee]

if you want to go to an AA meeting at night... i would be willing to bet that a female member would come and get you and bring you back home... how do i know this? i've been around AA for 21 years... it just always seems to happen that way... drunks love other drunks... and we want to help them get sober, cause that is how we stay sober... by helping other alcoholics... good luck and make that call.

[samf]

Hi, jucluc12 !

You know, the others at an AA meeting will know exactly how you feel, without you even saying a word. We have all been there. It will be the same way with the help you recieve, if you make that call.

Hang in there. You can do it, too. There are millions who are sober today.

Samf

[Jane05]

I can't stop. I'm feeling crappy. I'm afraid that if I don't stop, I won't live long enough to enjoy them. I was told to call AA and they could refer me someone who would help me through this. So afraid. I'm so ashamed!!!! What to do.


I made that call. And that's when my life started to get better. Leave out the excuses and just pick up that 2 ton phone and trust!

"It's a We thing"