Grateful for my life

[captpaulge]

Several weeks ago I hit my 17 year anniversary. I haven't been able to have an OFFICIAL celebration because of work, my sponsor traveling, and my family traveling. I tied not to let it get to me, but this summer has not been easy. It seemed like the S**T FAIRY has had me in her sights. Seems like one thing after another.
It has been hard to accept that the world was not against me. It is the 65 hour weeks. teeth that don't fit. Back that is sore. I have not allowed time for me. I also was not making it to meetings.
I'm still chemically sober, but mentally a DRUNK, this is step one.
I've fallen back to relying on me, not something greater than myself.
If your not doing the second step you are not doing the third.
Three things to do first to change your life.
Summer is about over, so the work schedule will end, then I 'll have to deal with being unemployed again.
I'm grateful to be able to share this and not be completely in the POOR ME'S , TODAY WILL BE A BETTER DAY.

[marlene damore]

'Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths: for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long." Psalm 25:4-5

[marlene damore]

I relate to times of feeling just like you stated "It has been hard to accept that the world was not against me." We are living in difficult economic times. I am anyway. Paycheck cut more than in half, scrambling to pay the bills, cutting back to bare bones to survive and the crunch continues as I fall behind in financial responsibilities and suffer their consequences. Living the stress of dealing with the world, fear of losing it all and no fruits from my efforts. YET! YET! YET! And at the end of many weary days I am sober by the grace of God. It may feel like that's all I have and I so thank Him. I have learned to thank Him for my difficulties as I have received many blessings beyond my thinking from enduring past difficulties. And I am thanking Him for many difficulties today!
I too have many 24 hours of recovery. Thank God for AA where God has restored me to sanity. Life is difficult right now and at times seem unmanageable. But not the unmanageable at the beginning due to my drinking and drugging and inablity to know how to live. This is my journey for God's will for me and I know there are many yets to come...yet for many blessings. Yes, I get discouraged and fearful and can go right back to feelings of unworthiness. But God is right there and within and all forgiving and all healing. We have the 12 steps of recovery and God is molding us. He is molding you too. Be easy on yourself. No talk of "mentally DRUNK." We are human and at times stray from God or feel lost in His sights. Go to God...He is waiting. God bless you.

[captpaulge]

Marlene thanks. Now that the summer fishing season is over, I have time for meetings. Recurring theme at step meetings has been Step 10. I have been able to see JUSTIFIABLE ANGER and how I can not go there, even if I'm right, and that I have not taken the time to reflect upon the Good of the Day.
Some how I need to balance my life, 65 hour work weeks in the summer and 15 hour weeks in the winter do not really work. I get plenty of time for meetings, and socal events in the winter, but no time in the summer.

[bobgr]

Thanks for sharing Capt. One of the benefits of AA is knowing we are not alone, we have each others back, if it's at a meeting or on this forum we can witness.

[captpaulge]

That is an important tool Bob. Because without sharing how we feel we are stuck alone in our caves. Was there for many years don't like going back there.

[saved1]

A Time to Think:
Take a deep breath and think of the three things you are grateful for,
right in this moment.—M.J. Ryan

[schell08122008]

Today, I am grateful I am sober and alive...I shouldn't be..I pray to be shown direction today..I have a purpose in life. Peace Schell

[captpaulge]

Today I'm grateful to be able to look for things to do. Many days I feel paralyzed because of fear and depression. I'm hoping to contribute something worthwhile today.

[Mountainman]

Many days I feel paralyzed because of fear and depression.

I'm hoping to contribute something worthwhile today.

I have those kind of days at times
yesterday was one for sure
doing the most simple thing proved to be very very hard
felt like I was up against the whole world
the problem seems to be centered in the mind
I find it amazing how a day later can be so different
today I feel great
looking forward to a day out on my friends sailboat
started this morning thanking God for what I have

that seems to be the key

MM

[captpaulge]

MOUNTAIN MAN I hope that your sail was fantastic. Pleasures away from our lives and sober too, what a gift.