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View Full Version : From daveysdad - Question and Share Justifiable Anger? And More.


samf
05-15-2008, 10:23 PM
I have to say that some of the posts on this site have really made a tremendous positive impact on me and my spiritual growth.
Still,I am still struggling very hard here, and at meetings, with who is a "mentor" and who is "doing research" for me (as my sponsor likes to put it). I know that it is supposed to be about "principles (and) not personalities" but sometimes people claiming to have years of "sobriety" scare the hell out of me and it is confusing to think they are "sober" and working the same steps. I feel like my sponsor, who seems so strong in his program and infinitely wise, and my higher power ( who I have actually just recently come to start to understand and am praying to and meditating with in just 73 days after a life of "atheism"!) have helped me to see the light in these matters, but I am still weary that this is "judging" people, and I feel that judgement should be left to those more capable to handle it as it says in the 10th step. Still, I want to get the right message. I just came from a "10 Step Meeting" where many shared about "justifiable anger" and being "assertive". Did I misunderstand them, or am I not reading the black letters of the 12 & 12 right? I AM NOT TRYING TO BE A SMART ASS. I am probably just over intellectualizing again (my great nemesis) but anyone please let me know what you think about the concept of "justified anger". My spoonsor has said not to worry about other people and this was helpful advice, but he also told me to be weary of another meeting b/c he said there was " no sobriety in that room". Let me know what you all think about this. Thanks!
PS: ALSO: I just went to 5 meetings in the last 26 hours and I feel awesome. Is there such a thing as too many meetings?
---73 days and Loving AA (but definitely in the mix!)

WolfM
05-17-2008, 08:54 PM
Dear Daveysdad,

In my opinion there is no such thing as justifiable anger for me (an alcoholic). I believe that anger is fear based. If someone says something to me that exposes a fear I have not dealt with I become angry. Not at the person, but at myself for having the fear. Now I have no time for revenge and retribution, I must immediately search out the source of that fear and find out why something that someone says or does can have so much control over me. And even if the person is totally in the wrong and I am totally right, I have been told that this is irrelevent. I need to pray for the other person that God will bless them as much as he has blessed me.
Is anger natural? Yes. Is anger a normal human emotion? Yes. Is anger justifiable? Not to me.
On the meeting attendance. Add up all the hours a week you spent drinking or hanging out in bars. When that time equals the hours you spend in AA meetings, you are getting close to going to too many meetings.

WolfM

daveysdad
05-23-2008, 03:26 PM
Thanks Wolf!
I love what you said about too many meetings :D! If I was to spend that much time in meetings, I better bring a cot and pillow as well as toiletries and supplies to last me the rest of my life! Nice to know. Still, I don't want to fall back into my procrastinating behaviors, so I will hit the sponsor up tonight to make sure I'm not...
As far as "justifiable anger" is concerned, your post verifies my suspicion that maybe their are many "young" people in this particular meeting and maybe a "bleeding deacon " or two. Still, I must say I like the idea of a Ten Step @ Midnight because I am a night owl and it helps me reflect on the days "tally". I will keep going until my gas money is required elsewhere. It is educating either way you look at it.
Thanks for the feedback.
-Grateful Dave

samf
05-26-2008, 10:52 AM
Anger...always drank at my anger. I loved it when I read that maybe I should leave it to people better qualified to handle it.

Looking at my part keeps me from pointing fingers and getting nowhere, sometimes, too, as far as my relations with others go.

Sam

jeffw
05-26-2008, 10:26 PM
Dear Guys,
A 3rd party can see this post...You can become insane from your
kids I think.
Dr. Bob wrote in his Nightmare " I was between Scylla and Charybdis now, because if I did not drink my stomach tortured me,..." Sometimes I felt the Holy Grail didn't work unless some alcohol was in it.
Now, of course, if Dr. Bob thought he looked like a pig, then that's his problem, not mine,
so, I'd stand back, and Cool-it, too.
Alas, the Sun rises in NY also, as well as Britain where it's ahead of us by 6 or 7 hours,
as the world turns. Do I like this resentment ?

Just checking you out,
Jeffw
Adios