A Vision for You.

[saved1]

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt11.pdf


Pages 151 through 164)

Chapter 11, “A VISION FOR YOU,” is a very powerful piece of literature. It provides guidance for the future of Alcoholics Anonymous in a very practical manner. As in the preceding sections of this Book, it is based on the experience and knowledge of the Founders of our Fellowship from which came our Program of Recovery.

As the result of taking and applying the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to our lives, we had been freed from a seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body. This is the Promise of the Program: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps.” To insure our sobriety, we found it necessary to seek out other alcoholics who were suffering as we had (as Bill did in May, 1935, when he was led to Dr. Bob S.). We let them know how well we understood the misery they were experiencing. We let them see the demonstration of the Higher Power we found through our Program and thereby created a curiosity in them to wonder what had happened to us. When they asked, we would tell them our story -- what we were like, what happened and what we are like now. If they then decided they wanted what we had, we made sure that they had a copy of this Book and set them on the path of recovery. At the same time, we made an effort to get the family to try our way of living.

After awhile, we had a number of sober alcoholics and realized we needed to formalize our Fellowship, so we initiated the process of “founding” a Group -- to bring the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous into the part of the world that we occupy. This Chapter describes that process. Once this has been done, you will have made a significant contribution to your community. It might be an amend for harm done. It will certainly be appreciated by many innocent people who have suffered because of our disease even though they may never have been aware of the source.




(Page 151)
(P) 1. What is drinking for most folks?

2. It is release from what?

3. What else is it for most people?

4. How about us?

5. What is gone?

6. What are the good old days?

7. When will we be able to recapture those moments?
8-a. What did we yearn for?
8-b. With what were we obsessed?
10. What was the truth?

(P) 11. As people became less tolerant of us, what did we do?

12. As we became citizens of King Alcohol, shivering inhabitants
of his mad world, what did we experience?

13. It did what and became what?
14-a. What did some of us seek?
14-b. What were we hoping to find?

16-a. What success did we have?
16-b. This would be followed by what?
16-c. What did we face?

19. Who will have no trouble understanding what we have just covered?

(P) 20. Once in awhile, what may a dried out serious drinker say?
(4 sentences)

21. As ex-problem drinkers, how do we react to such
declarations?
(Page 152)
1. He is like who?

2. What is he doing to himself?

3. What is it he really wants to do?
4-a. Soon, what will he do?
4-b. Why?
6. What can he not see?

7. Someday, what will he be unable to imagine?

8. What will he then come to know as few people can?

9. Where will he be?

10. For what will he wish?

(P) 11. What have we shown?

12. You might say what? (rest of paragraph)

(P) 13. What do we have?

14. What is it called?

15. What will you find there?

16. How will it effect your imagination?

17. How will you feel about being alive?

18. What are your future years promised to be?

19. Where will we find this?


(P) 20. What questions do you have? (2 sentences)

(Page 152 - continued)

(P) 21. Where do we say you will find them?

22. Who will you find near you?

23. How many if you live in a large city?

24. Where will they come from?

25. What will they become to you?

26-a. How will you be bound to them?
26-b. Why will that be so?
26-c. And, together, you will begin what?
























(Page 153)
1. You will then know what?
2. You will then learn the full meaning of what?

(P) 3. What may seem incredible?
4. What question will arise?
5. What is the practical answer?
6-a. How should you wish for them?
6-b. What should you be willing to do?
6-c. Of what are we certain?
9. What still exhibits itself among us?
10. What proof is there of that statement?

(P) 11. What is our hope?
12. Of what are we sure?

13-a. They will then do what?
13-b. What will be the result of these actions?

(P) 15. What did you learn in “Chapter 7?”

16. Since you followed the directions laid out for us in that
Chapter, what has happened?

17. What will you now want to know?

18. How do we propose to give you a glimpse of what can be your future?

(P) 19-a. The brief account begins when?
19-b. How did it begin?

21. How did his business deal go?

22. If his business deal had gone off well, what would have been
his expected future?
(Page 154)
1. But how did his deal wind up?
2. What did the proceeding produce?

(P) 3. Very discouraged, how did he find himself?
4-a. In what physical condition was he?
4-b. How long had he been sober?
4-c. What could he see for himself?
7. What was it he really wanted?

(P) 8. On that afternoon, what was he wondering?
9. What was at one end of the lobby?
10. What was at the other end?
11. What did he see in there?
12. What might he find in there?

13-a. Without a couple of drinks he was afraid he would not
have what?
13-b. How would his weekend be?

(P) 15. Even though he knew he couldn’t afford to drink, what was he thinking?

16. Why not? He had been sober how long?

17. What did his alcoholic mind (the insidious insanity) say to
him?

18. What did he experience with that thought?

19. How secure did he feel?

20. What was he experiencing?

21. What did he do?

22. What was he still hearing?
(Page 154 - continued)

(P) 23-a. Who did he think of?
23-b. Especially who did he think of?

25. Should it be very difficult to find one?

26. What would he do?

27. What returned and what did he do because it did?





























(Page 155)

1. What did he do then?

(P) 2-a. Where did his call lead him?
2-b. In what condition was this formerly able and respected person?
Comment: “nadir” means bottom, lowest point.
4. What was his situation?
5-a. What was his desperate desire?
5-b. Had he given up hope?
7. He knew he was not normal but what was it he did not know?
Comment: (*) indicates a footnote which identifies the principals of this story and where we may find their stories in this Book.

(P) 8. After Bill told his story, with what did Dr. Bob agree?

9-a. What did Dr. Bob concede as being absolutely
necessary?
9-b. How did he first feel about the Program of action?

11. What did he admit to Bill?

12. What had Dr. Bob rationalized?

13-a. What was his argument?
13-b. The result of which would bring more suffering to whom?

15. To what length was he not willing to go?


(P) 16. Being intrigued, what did Dr. Bob and Anne do?

17. Three weeks later, what did Dr. Bob do?

18. Was this just an overnight drunk?

19-a. What did it convince Dr. Bob he must do?

(Page 156)

1-b. If he wanted God to do what?

(P) 2. What did Dr. Bob do one morning?

3. He surprised to learn what two things?

4. He got into his car and did what?

5. Why did he tremble as he made his amends?


(P) 6-a. When did he finally come home?
6-b. What shape was he in?

8. How well did it work for him?
Comment: Dr. Bob had his last drink on the morning of June 10, 1935. He lived the rest of his life sober and passed away November 16,1950.

9. The major liabilities resulting from 30 years of hard drinking
were repaired in how many years?
Comment: Dr. Bob had his last drink in June, 1935, and this Book was published in April, 1939.


(P) 10. Was life easy and comfortable for these two men?

11. What did they have plenty of?

12. What did both of them realize they must do?

13. So, what did Dr. Bob do one day?
Comment: The date was June 11, 1935. The day following Dr. Bob’s last drink.

14. He explained their need and asked what?


(Page 156 - continued)

(P) 15. What was the nurse’s reply?

16. What shape was the prospect in at the time of the call?
(the rest of paragraph)

Comment: Notice (*) referring to the footnote regarding Bill & Dr. Bob’s 12th Step call on Bill D.

(P) 17. What did they think of their chances of success with this guy?

18. What was not well understood at that time?


























(Page 157)

1. What did Dr. Bob ask the nurse to do? (2 sentences)

(P) 2. What happened two days later?

3. What did Bill D. ask Bill & Dr. Bob? (2 sentences)

(P) 4. How did they answer him?

(P) 5. What was written on his face?
6. Did Bill D. believe there could be any hope for him?
(the rest of paragraph)

(P) 7. What happened over the next hour?
8. What was Bill D.’s response? (3 sentences)

(P) 9. What was the man on the bed told?
10. There was a lot of talk about what?


(P) 11. What did Bill D. say as Bill W. and Dr. Bob told their stories?
(5 sentences)

12. When Bill D. said he knew it could not work for him, what did
the two do?

13. What did he have to say about their laughing at him?


(P) 14-a. They then spoke of what?
14-b. Then what did they tell him?


(P) 16. To which he replied?


(Page 158)

1-a. He said he prayed and swore what?
1-b. How well did it work for him?

(P) 3. What did Bill and Dr. Bob find the next day?
4. What had the prospect been doing?
5. What did he say to them? (2 sentences)
6. Then what did he add?


(P) 7-a. What did the lawyer do on the third day following his
last drink?
Comment: Again we must wonder where the idea of going to meetings and not drinking as a solution to alcoholism came from. The message from this Text Book is, “Take the Steps” and take them very early in sobriety.
7-b. He further said he was willing to do what?

9-a. How hopeful was his wife when she came to see him?
9-b. What did she think she saw in him?

11. What had begun to take place within him?

Comment: If Step Three is taken “honestly and humbly, an effect, sometimes a very great one, is felt at once.” p. 63


(P) 12. What happened that afternoon?

13. What did he try to do?

14. How successful was he?

15. But what had he found?




(Page 158 - continued)

(P) 16. When was that?

Comment: That was the same month and year Dr. Bob had his last drink.

17. How long was he able to stay sober?

18. What has he regained?

19-a. Who has he helped?
19-b. In what did he become a power?


(P) 21-a. Now, how many sober alcoholics were there?
21-b. What did they believe they must do to survive?

23. Did they find another one right away?

24. How did they find this one?

25-a. What kind of a guy was he?
25-b. What could his parents not determine?

27-a. What kind of people were they?
27-b. They were also shocked by their son’s refusal to do
what?












(Page 159)
1-a. Was he in pretty bad shape?
1-b. Did he appear to be hopeless?

3-a. What did he consent to do?
3-b. By chance (?), what room did he occupy?

(P) 5. How many visitors did he have?
6. After listening to them for a bit, what did he have to say?
(3 sentences)
7. So now Alcoholics Anonymous had how many members?

(P) 8. All this time, where was Bill W.?
9. How long did he remain in Akron?
10. When he returned to New York, what did he leave?
11. What had these men found?
12-a. What did they know they must do to remain sober?
12-b. That motive became what?
14. Why was that?
15. What did they share with fellow-sufferers?
16. At any time, what were they willing to do?
17. They did what?

18-a. What did they experience?
18-b. Where there were failures, what did they do about the drinker’s family?
18-c. This resulted in relieving what?

(P) 21. After eighteen months, how many did they have in the fold?

22-a. Were they close?
22-b. What happened in the evenings?
22-c. What was their constant thought?

25-a. What became customary?

(Page 160)

1-b. Who were these meetings for?
Comment: Remember that the folks who participated in the writing of this Book were still meeting with the Oxford Groups. Any and everybody was welcomed and encouraged to attend Oxford Group Meetings. It was in the Fall of 1939 that the “Alcoholic Squad of the Oxford Group” first split off and the Fellowship then took their name from the title of this Book.

2. Aside from the fellowship and social aspects of the meetings, what were their principal purposes?


(P) 3. Who became interested in what the alcoholics were doing?

4. What did a man and his wife do to support the alcoholics?
Comment: The couple was Clarace and T. Henry Williams, non-alcoholic members of the Oxford Group.

5. What did they do with their home?

6. What has many a distracted wife found at the Williams’ home?
(a loooooooooong sentence)


(P) 7. What have many alcoholic men found there?

8. What did they come away with?

9. What did he succumb to?
10-a. With what was he impressed?
10-b. Where was it that he made that surrender?
10-c. When did he surrender?
Comment: The normal practice at that time was to help the suffering alcoholic surrender to his hopeless condition while he was hospitalized, then, in the “room upstairs” surrender on his knees to his Higher Power. He was then “sponsored” into the meetings downstairs.


(Page 160 - continued)

13. What appealing characteristics conspired to let the alcoholic
know that here was haven at last?

(P) 14. What did the recovered alcoholics and their wives have that
made this irresistible?

15. How would the newcomer and his wife feel as they left the Williams’ home?





























(Page 161)
1. What did they then know?

2. What had they seen?

3. What had they envisioned?

(P) 4. At the time of the writing of this Book, how many were
attending meetings at the Williams’ home?

5. Where were the alcoholics coming from?

6. From surrounding towns, what was happening?

7. How many members came from a community (Cleveland)
thirty miles away?

8. Since Cleveland was a large place in 1939, what did they
anticipate?


(P) 9. Life in A.A. is more than what?

10. What are some of the other activities?

11-a. Who is not welcomed?
11-b. But what is the one requirement?

13. What things are laughed out of countenance?

14. What no longer proved to be of any significance?
(the rest of paragraph)


(P) 15. What started happening in Eastern cities?

16. What was there in one of these cities?
Comment: Townes Hospital

(Page 162)
1. How long ago was it that Bill W. had met Dr. Silkworth?

2. What had many alcoholics experienced at that hospital?
3-a. To whom are we indebted?
3-b. Why is that so?

(P) 5. Every few days, what did Dr. Silkworth do?

6. Because he understood our work, what could he do?

7. What did many recovered alcoholics do?
8-a. What was going on in this Eastern city (New York)?
8-b. Did many attend?

10. What similarity was there to the Akron Group?

11-a. What was going on between Akron and New York?
11-b. What did they foresee?

(P) 13. What is our hope?

14. Was it beginning to happen at the time this Book was written?

15. What were some of the members?

16-a. What had begun to spring up in other communities?
16-b. Where were they getting their direction?

18. What did members who traveled do?

19. What two good things resulted from this type of activity?

(P) 20. So, they were doing what?

21-a. What can we do?



(Page 163)
1-b. What should you have?
2. What did the authors believe?

(P) 3. What do we know?
4. What are you saying to yourself? (2 sentences)
5. But what?
6. What have you forgotten?
7. What is required to duplicate what the authors accomplished?

(P) 8. Who did they know?
9-a. How long had he lived there?
9-b. What did he find?

11. How long before the writing of this Book was it?
12. Did the authorities care?
Comment: This man was Hank Parkhurst. The alcoholic who authored “Chapter 10, TO EMPLOYERS”
13. What did Hank do?
14. What did the doctor prove to be?
15. Did he check Hank out?

(P) 16. Did Hank talk with the doctor?
17. How well was the doctor impressed?
18. What arrangements were made?

(P) 19. What will our fellow worker soon have?
20-a. What will happen to some of them?
20-b. But if our experience is any criterion, how many will
make it?
Comment: Does it appear that we should try to learn how they worked with a new man? If following the clear-cut directions in this Book produced these results, what could we do?

22-a. What will happen when a few men try this Program?

(Page 164)

1-b. And will have discovered what as the result of working
with others?
1-c. There will be no stopping until what has happened?


(P) 3. But what may you still say?

4. Can we be sure?

5-a. Who will determine that?
5-b. So Who must you rely on?

7. Who will show you how to have many friends?


(P) 8. This Book is meant to be what?

9. What do we realize?

10. What will God constantly do?

Comment: The following is the Twelfth Step Prayer.
11-a. When should you ask?
11-b. How often should you ask for it?
11-c. What should you ask for?

14. What is the promise?

15. But you obviously cannot do what?

16-a. So, what must we see to?
16-b. What is the promise of this?

18. What is this for us?

(P) 19. We should abandon ourselves to Whom?
Comment: Steps Three, Six & Seven?
(Page 164 - continued)

20. Admit our faults to whom?
Comment: Steps Four and Five?

21. We are to clear away what?
Comment: Steps Eight and Nine?

22. We should then do what?
Comment: Step Twelve?

23-a. How shall we be with you?
23-b. Where will we meet?


“MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU---UNTIL THEN!”

[saved1]

YES-NO
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?

2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?

3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?

4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?

5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?

6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?

7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?

8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?

9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?

10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?

11. Do you want a drink the next morning?

12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?

14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?

15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?

16. Do you drink alone?

17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?

18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?

19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?

20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?

:162:

Are you an alcoholic?

If you answered YES to one of the questions, this is a warning that you may be an alcoholic.

If you answered YES to any two, there's a good chance that you are an alcoholic.

If you answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.

[MajestyJo]

Thought I did real good! Got 18 out of 20 and disappointed that I didn't get a perfect score. Then like a true alkie, I read the instructions! Whoops, only 3! Who me???

[saved1]

Your Encouragement and Support Is Important. :1:
By Buddy T, About.com Guide
Updated June 16, 2009

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/fam/a/family_in_rehab.htm?nl=1

[saved1]

"Let Me Tell You About Anne Smith"
by Dorothy Snyder
(Dorothy was instrumental in the founding of Cleveland A.A.)

My husband [Clarence Snyder] was 34 and an alcoholic. Other people drank normally. My husband just got drunk.

I was eternally on the defensive. I couldn't read. I couldn't listen to good music. I couldn't enjoy anything.

I tried to appear busy. I tried to avoid crowds. Put us at a party and either Joe [Clarence] would get drunk and pass out, which was preferable, or he'd start pawing the women, which was humiliating.

I felt as if I was 200 years old. All 200 years were weighing me down when a friend of ours -- this was 12 years ago, and A.A. hadn't gained much reputation -- persuaded Joe to attend a meeting of alcoholics in Akron.

To myself I said between gritted teeth "I'll be hanged if I want to associate with a bunch of drunks and their broken-down, haggard wives."

Then that first meeting.

I had lived on the surface for years. I could show a surface kindliness, but I was bitter and resentful inside.

The meeting was in somebody's home. I halted on the threshold that first evening, hesitant, fearful, not knowing what might be ahead. I doubted the whole occasion. This was Joe's affair. If it would bring about his sobriety, OK -- but it was not for me. I felt I didn't need it.

Further, I rather enjoyed the hard shell I had built around myself. No one could hurt me any further. I had been shamed and ostracized and pitied. I was proof against further hurts.

And then this greeting. "Come in, my dear."

It was Anne Smith. As gracious, as friendly, as charming as any woman I had ever met or known.

If she had pitied me I would have fled in anger and disgrace. She was wise enough to know that. She understood. She knew that most wives of alcoholics feel fear. But you couldn't be afraid with Anne.

That love of Anne's changed things.

For me it was like the miracle coming to Paul on the road to Damascus.

That night when I reached home I got down on my knees and prayed. I wanted to be different. My parents had always been normally religious. I had never been anything other than religious. But this was different.

When anything of a memorial tribute is printed about Anne I hope it emphasizes this big point: She didn't want glorification for glory's sake. She would have hoped only to tell other wives how to carry on.

She knew how to handle the wife of an alcoholic. She knew the days and nights full of despair, the poverty-stricken effort to keep up appearances, the unsatisfactory blending of shabbiness and pride.

Time after time I saw her melt some other person's heart.

A proud woman, a hard-shelled woman walked in belligerently. She had her speech all prepared: "Well, Mrs. Smith," she began belligerently.

"Call me Anne, my dear."

That love cracked the proud one, won her over.

Anne was a good listener. She knew the therapy of getting things off your chest.

Things might have grown into an old story. But not with her. Every meeting with a newcomer was a fresh experience. She greeted strangers and listened for their names. Next time she'd be able to call them by name,

In those early days there were no women alcoholics in the group. They were just wives -- those who still had wives.

Bill W. emphasizes that in those early days -- 1935, 1936, 1937 -- we few people were clinging together, like a little group of persons saved from a shipwreck.

In those early days most of us didn't have telephones. We were handed a little address book. We were told "All our homes are open to you. Drop in any time."

We did.

Many a time Joe and I dropped in on Dr. Bob and Anne for a potluck meal. We might have bread and milk for supper. We might have corned beef hash for Sunday. There were no apologies. Everybody was honest and genuine. We gave potluck dinners as we were all too poor to furnish much food, Those were the days when with many people at the table we might have 11 kinds of potato salad, because we were all too poor to buy wieners. Everyone brought food. I wonder if A.A.'s today appreciate how pitifully poor most of us were in those struggling days.

It makes me sick to attend some A.A. groups today I've visited A.A.'s from Ohio to California -- and see the wives sitting together, in a clique. They don't step out and meet the new ones.

Anne never forgot the newcomers. She knew the wives need hospitalization as much as the man. The alcoholic gets lots of attention -- the man's sponsor takes care of that. The other wives should look after the newcomer wife.

Nowadays when many A.A.'s are back on their feet again and are fairly prosperous I am struck with the fact that at Christmas parties many A.A. women are gayly dressed. But the poor ones, the new ones, still too deep in debt to be nicely dressed, and with nothing to be gay about, they hang around the edges, feeling cold and lonely and forgotten.

Anne Smith hated to wear a new dress. I remember one party we were all going to. I had my first new dress, the first bought since my husband had stayed sober long enough to hold down a decent job. I asked Anne which dress she was going to wear, because I knew she had two new ones.

She answered, "I hate to wear a new dress. So many people will be there who can't afford a new one. I hate to embarrass them."

It was a bigness of heart, this continual thinking of others besides herself, that enabled Anne to shape a formless group into what was presently to become A.A. in Akron.

I hope we never lose sight of Anne's use of religion in building her own life and rebuilding the lives of the fearful wrecks who looked to her for guidance and strength I hope we never forget her humility, her courage, her cheerfulness, her unsparing use of herself.

Anne made me realize that all my years of misery have been of some account, because I have been able to translate them into usefulness; into helpfulness for other people.

I have known women who, for instance, lost sons in the war, and ever since they live in the past, constantly bemoaning their loss and curdling every life they come in contact with. Why don't these lonesome and heartbroken women go and visit sick boys in the veterans' hospitals and try to bring a little cheer into the world?

Anne didn't harm other people because she had suffered. Rather, her life was rich because she was able to help people.

Anne never stopped living. She went on to reach out and touch other lives.

I think of her every time I hear that familiar but little understood verse: "He that loseth his life shall save it." Anne lost herself in her work for A.A. Thereby she gained a new and bigger life.

A Cleveland minister in writing about A.A. summed up in this sentence - "Freedom is the ability to get outside yourself and lose yourself in the thought and activities of others." That's what Anne did.

-- Dorothy Snyder, Cleveland

As in so many things, especially with we alcoholics, our History is our Greatest Asset!.. We each arrived at the doors of A.A. with an intensive and lengthy "History of Things That Do Not Work" .. Today, In A.A. and In Recovery, Our History has added an intensive and lengthy "History of Things That DO Work!!" and We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it!!

:281:

[saved1]

Subject: To Wives
>
> If your husband is a drinker, you probably worry over what other people are
> thinking and you hate to meet your friends. You draw more and more into
> yourself
> and you think everyone is talking about conditions at your home. You avoid the
> subject of drinking, even with your own parents. You do not know what to tell
> your children. When your husband is bad, you become a trembling recluse,
> wishing
> the telephone had never been invented.
>
> We find that most of this
> embarrassment is unnecessary. While you need not discuss your husband at
> length,
> you can quietly let your friends know the nature of his illness. But you must
> be
> on guard not to embarrass or harm your husband.
>
> When you have carefully
> explained to such people that he is a sick person, you will have created a new
> atmosphere. Barriers which have sprung up between you and your friends will
> disappear with the growth of sympathetic understanding. You will no longer be
> self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a
> weak character. He may be anything but that. Your new courage, good nature and
> lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially.
>
> The same
> principle applies in dealing with the children. Unless they actually need
> protection from their father, it is best not to take sides in any argument he
> has with them while drinking. Use your energies to promote a better
> understanding all around. Then that terrible tension which grips the home of
> every problem drinker will be lessened.

Subject: To Wives

Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your husband's employer and his
friends that he was sick, when as a matter of fact he was tight. Avoid
answering these inquiries as much as you can. Whenever possible, let your
husband explain. Your desire to protect him should not cause you to lie to
people when they have a right to know where he is and what he is doing.
Discuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits. Ask him what you
should do if he places you in such a position again. But be careful not to be
resentful about the last time he did so. There is another paralyzing fear.
You may be afraid your husband will lose his position; you are thinking of
the disgrace and hard times which will befall you and the children. This
experience may come to you. Or you may already have had it several times.
Should it happen again, regard it in a different light. Maybe it will prove a
blessing! It may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever.
And now you know that he can stop if he will! Time after time, this apparent
calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the
discovery of God. We have elsewhere remarked how much better life is when
lived on a spiritual plane. If God can solve the age-old riddle of
alcoholism, He can solve your problems too. We wives found that, like
everybody else, we were afflicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and all the
things which go to make up the self-centered person; and we were not above
selfishness or dishonesty. As our husbands began to apply spiritual
principles in their lives, we began to see the desirability of doing so too.

The gender is not important, these situations apply to all. The important part is the inner meaning, that being, hope does exist.:281:

1976

1977