MIKEYBEEF
01-24-2008, 01:15 PM
My biggest struggle in recovery was the battle that I have with my two minds.I would actually get off work and tell myself that I wasnt going to drink today.Then that voice would say come on Mike you know you want to.Just do it Mike.I was actually argueing with myself the whole ride. Its so funny.If you are not strong enough.You loose every time.That voice is strong to.I would wake up somewhat hungover when I had to work the next day and I would wake up and say.THATS IT! Im done with drinking.And I would believe it,but then I would be at work and feel vulinerable and lonely.If I had an amazing conversation with someone,where I laughed or something.That voice would be triggered telling me.Do you want more of this laughter just drink or what not and I would have to fight not to drink.Like they say its a baffling and cunning desease.When im sober I feel pretty good about myself.Then i start to feel over confident and feel bored.Then the whole cycle starts all over again.Im doing good for now and the meetings and the big book are whats helping me.Without them I would be lost