MY FIRST MEETING

[MIKEYBEEF]

Dec 15, 2007 09:52DeleteEdit QuotePoints: 0 Vote I remember when I went to my first meeting back in 2006.I walked around to kill time cause I did not want to get there early.As I aproached the building I had anxiety so I went into the restroom and talked my self into going in.Finally I got up the courage and walked in.Everyone was already seated and I had all heads turn towards me.I already had 9 days under my belt but the sweat started to appear on my forehead.I listened to a 10 minute speaker and then we took a 10 minute break.NO! Break we just started I dont know any of these people!I sat around feeling like a compleate loner looking at AA brocures..Finally we came back from break and I listened to a 40 minute speaker that truly moved me.Then it was over and we all held hands and qoutes from the big book.Thank God my hands werent sweaty.LOL.After I left I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that I have never felt before.To me it felt better than graduating from high school. Even though I felt so alone and I didnt talk to anyone,I felt fantastic.

[samf]

Mikey, hi! Sending a hug! Was this your first meeting? I wans't quite sure, with the quotes, etc, that popped up at the front...am not that good at computers.

Sam

[MIKEYBEEF]

Hi Sam.No it was back in 2006.You are by far my fav.on this site.Take care sweetie

[samf]

You, too, my friend...hope your today is a good one.

Sam

[new2sobriety]

Mikey,

Amazing I did the same thing. Only I parked the car 2 blocks away, and had to scope out the area before going in. One of the stories in the Big Book (Towards the end, but cannot remember the name of it) talks about a guy who hids in his car to see what kind of people are going in. He then notices a person he knows and decides to climb out of the front seat and go in.

I walked around the building and never found the door. When I went back to my therapist I told her "You said I had to go to a meeting you did not specifically say I had to go in!!!" She did NOT see the humor. I went back 4 days later, and it was the best experience in my life!!! I too had 32 days under my belt.

I was given 2 chips - My 24 hour chip, and my 30 day chip! I was hugged twice for it, and I have to say that was the first hugs I have had in awhile.

Thanks

[junebuglyd]

I really enjoyed your story on your 1st meeting. It reminded me of mine. I was very nervous (mainly due to the fact that it was a small town and I was terriffied of being recognised). I was amazed at how many people shook my hand or patted me on the back and welcomed me. I was in a time in my life where I thought I was the only person who was going through the situation I was or the pain that I felt. Low and behold I was welcomed by many others who "had been there" themselves in one way or the other. Some had even gone threw exactly what I had. That was my 1st time needless to say I went back out there and recently had another 1st meeting, in a totally different state filled with new faces, who still have been walked in my shoes in one way or another.I am grateful to have had the will to find a meeting, without the support and help from fellow members I cannot imagine where I would be today! junebug

[samf]

My very first meeting, ever, was probably in 1981, and I remember being nervous and figuring I didn't belong there.

My next meeting I remember came because I was twelve stepped into a meeting. It was a small meeting, and I was still very nervous and afraid, but I continued going to meetings, and am grateful I did.

Sam

[BOBBY]

woww i love to hear about people's first time walking into a meeting ,all i remember about my first meeting was that i was feeling like the loneliest on the face of this earth , i was very nervus and very very depressed and also very unwanted (not by the people in the AA room ) by my family and most of my friends who i chased out of my life . and after that meeting was over a few guys walked over to me and sat and introduced themselves to me and after they got done talking to me i didn't feel like i was the loneliest person in the world anymore . i guess i can say for me that that first meeting was the beginning of my mircale because by the grace of God the fellowship of AA on december 25th 2007 i celibrated my 12th anniversary

:)

[new2sobriety]

BOBBY Congrats! on 12 years WOW thats a long time when I look at it from my perspective, but I do hope to be there oneday.

The AA meetings in my region I have not been approached by anyone yet. I also run out of the room when it is over :) as I posted elsewhere I don't let on that I need it when in fact I really do. when I got my first chips I almost cried after I got the hug - It had been a long time since I felt that kind of love. I don't really know how to ask or if I present myself in such a way that I am not approachable, but I do know that when I went to another location (Manhattan of all places) I felt the love in the rooms. I also was approached there by several people after the meetings, and I felt comfortable to ask questions.

Strange how we think this stuff do death.

[samf]

And I just plain can think myself to death, anyway!!! No kidding. ;D

Love,

Sam

[Thevelv.rabbit]

I went to a closed mtg...very nervous. B/c it was my 1st mtg, they did a first step mtg. I listened to everyone's story, and it felt like home...even though these people looked nothing like me. We all shared the same thought patterns... When all were done sharing their story, they asked me if I had anything to say...and I spilled my guts. They gave me a BB, and told me to "keep coming back".

I love mtgs...partly b/c when I was "out there"...I was a bar rat. So getting around some tables, sharing my story, and every now and then some whining/bchin/moaning/complaining is very cathartic for my soul. I had know idea when I was drowning myself in the bar that my true desire was for a genuine intimate connection with people.

It wasn't just the Long Island Ice Teas...

[new2sobriety]

Keep coming back - It works if you work it!

Congrats on your meeting, and nervous is good. I was and still am. I have had many years of public speaking in front of large crowds. At first I was nervous, but I got over that pretty quickly. It was nothing compared to the AA meeting, but I have to say for me it was fear. I still haven't got a clue as to why, but I try to share whenever I can. I have learned the more you do it the easier it is. Still new to this whole thing, but it is getting easier. The fear in me is "screwing up" somehow. Another "thought pattern" is perfection in me, and I keep thinking I am doing it wrong. This is just "Stinking Thinking" and I try not paying attention to it.

One thing that the meetings has given me is "something to hold onto". When I am feeling vunerable I just think about all the people, and their stories. How my story isn't quite as bad as theirs, but I sure don't want to get any lower than I was.

N2S

[808]

The way their eyes looked I could see the eyes of a few of the people in my life had had, like my grandmother had in hers, the warmth made me feel safe. It was astonishing to me to see that. And that began my begining into the life of sobrity.

[samf]

;D 808, hi! I love the light and warmth in thier eyes, too. Thank you for this! Welcome!

Sam