Carol87
01-23-2008, 08:51 AM
[I]THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER
We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21
When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.
?Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.?
Source: Daily Reflections, January 6
Did I ever truly surrender my alcoholism? Not consciously ? I resisted without ceasing (LOL) the program because I didn?t think I fit, that I belonged, that I didn?t have a low enough bottom, hadn?t done the YETS and on and on and ? . Even though after many many 24 hours I know that none of that is true, I still struggle with ?do I belong?? ? but no matter how much I struggle, there is something inside me that keeps talking God, recovery, principles of the 12 steps, working the steps ? it is so ingrained in my soul.
That ?something? paid off ? I recently experienced the true serenity that does come from surrender ? although a bit by the back door ? I was recently in the hospital for the second time in a year once again without immediate family members with me ? twofold ? they live anywhere from 2 to 4 hours from me, coupled with the fact that there is some underlying animosity that I have been struggling to accept. As I watched the support of family members of my roommate, I experienced sadness and resentments immediately followed by the greatest sense of peace I ever remember ? without thinking (God intervention?) I surrendered that this is the way it is ~~ at least for now. What a gift to accept that fact and to finally recognize that serenity ? without my God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I would never have attained that ultimate gift. I walked out of the hospital with so much peace ?. and ? so much gratitude that the mega medical tests didn?t show anything serious. Is it there every day? Of course not but when I feel it seeping away I do whatever I can to get back to the place.
[b]?I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.?
We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21
When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.
?Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.?
Source: Daily Reflections, January 6
Did I ever truly surrender my alcoholism? Not consciously ? I resisted without ceasing (LOL) the program because I didn?t think I fit, that I belonged, that I didn?t have a low enough bottom, hadn?t done the YETS and on and on and ? . Even though after many many 24 hours I know that none of that is true, I still struggle with ?do I belong?? ? but no matter how much I struggle, there is something inside me that keeps talking God, recovery, principles of the 12 steps, working the steps ? it is so ingrained in my soul.
That ?something? paid off ? I recently experienced the true serenity that does come from surrender ? although a bit by the back door ? I was recently in the hospital for the second time in a year once again without immediate family members with me ? twofold ? they live anywhere from 2 to 4 hours from me, coupled with the fact that there is some underlying animosity that I have been struggling to accept. As I watched the support of family members of my roommate, I experienced sadness and resentments immediately followed by the greatest sense of peace I ever remember ? without thinking (God intervention?) I surrendered that this is the way it is ~~ at least for now. What a gift to accept that fact and to finally recognize that serenity ? without my God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I would never have attained that ultimate gift. I walked out of the hospital with so much peace ?. and ? so much gratitude that the mega medical tests didn?t show anything serious. Is it there every day? Of course not but when I feel it seeping away I do whatever I can to get back to the place.
[b]?I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.?