ChicknLittle
12-17-2007, 09:30 PM
I've come to realize just lately, how much animals (my pets) play a part in my connection to my higher power... guess I'm a little curious as to how many others are like this... I get so much crap for how I am with my critters, my dog mostly, I will not part with my dog for anything in the world, I'd face living in my car with her if I had to rather than to ever give her up... she and I are both dependent on each other, probably in a not too healthy way lol We've been through a lot together in her short life (nearly 2 years), and I used to claim the idea of having to give her up (which the idea has had to be brought up lately for various reasons) I'd claim I could not do it for her sake, because of her separation anxiety with me, and her dependency on me after what she went through with my exhusband and with our drinking and such... But my sponsor pointed out the other day I have a very strong dependency on her also... and it goes to the extent that I couldn't just give her away, it would devastate me, but to know that one day she will pass on or something may happen to her, though it'd upset me it is something I do accept will happen one day down the road... just could not give her up though.
But I've been to quite a few meetings lately, about the 2nd step, and forming your own concept of God... and had been doing a lot of meditation on my own and looking at where I am at right now spiritually. And I had noticed lately, that though I've always known that animals play such a huge part in my life, that it is more than just having them as pets and loving animals... to me animals are my connection to my higher power, or a big part of it anyway.
I started thinking back to when I was a kid... I have never NOT had a pet of some sort in all my life. And when I was a kid, I was not raised with any kind of religion or any talk of God or any kind of higher power. I can remember when I had problems and worries, I held my animals, whatever I had at the time, even hamsters, and would tell them my problems and worries and cry and just hold them... and looking back at it, those were my prayers, that was my spirituality at the time. I've noticed with my dog, and with my favorite cat I had before her, that I still do the same thing, and that for me, that is a way of praying... I have conversations with my dog and talk to her about what is going on, and what is worrying me, and at the same time I am talking to my higher power... it's like my dog just gives me some kind of "physical connection" I guess... if that makes any sense. I do have my own meditation and prayer time, without her, also... but seems like the times I feel most connected to my higher power are when I am with my dog, or with other critters I care about.
Last spring, I was finally able to really do the first 3 steps, after a relapse. I'd struggled before with the 2nd and 3rd steps. But last spring it came much easier... because I was living on a farm at the time, I was raising all these baby chicks that my friend got me and that I bought, and some baby turkeys and guineas, and had chicks hatching out in the barn, and lambs being born... It was a truly amazing spiritual thing for me... seeing all that, seeing my god's creations come to be, it hit me right then that there is some kind of loving god that made us, not just those animals, and made everything around us... it hit me then that my god is a loving god, with unconditional love like those critters have/had for me... I don't know, it was something in all that, that it just really hit me. It was a truly amazing experience. it was my first time in my life to be around that many animals, to care for that many animals, to see them hatching or being born.
Since then, and in these past few months really looking at my spirituality and where I'm at... I really saw that connection with the animals... some people think I'm insane for how I am about critters... maybe I am, I dunno lol at a couple of meetings I've been to recently talking about our concept of God, I've shared a bit about this, and have had a couple of people tell me they were sorta the same way.... and here I was thinking I was the only one insane enough to get so fanatic about animals lol And mostly looking at my dog... I can remember my first sponsor asking me if I can describe my god, what is my god like... my god is like my dog - devoted, loving unconditionally, not turning her back on me when I mess up...
Not really sure why I'm posting this, like I said part of it is curiosity, to see if others relate to this... part of it is just wanting to share how this has hit me lately, and what an amazing thing it is for me... And I thank God I'm sober today, so that I can care for my critters... had a really rough experience a few months ago with having to put my pet tom down, I know that's farm life, but it was really hard for me, and a friend pointed out to me that at least I was sober to see my tom's suffering and to be able to end his suffering, that if I'd been drinking I would have let him go on hurting... that really hit me then... and I realized there is a reason I'm sober today, and a reason that tom was in my care, the guy I was living with was not going to put him down when he needed it. Just another way I look at "everything happens for a reason" I guess...
I'm rambling, which I'm really good at lol but just had this on my mind tonight and felt like posting...
Thanks,
Lisa
But I've been to quite a few meetings lately, about the 2nd step, and forming your own concept of God... and had been doing a lot of meditation on my own and looking at where I am at right now spiritually. And I had noticed lately, that though I've always known that animals play such a huge part in my life, that it is more than just having them as pets and loving animals... to me animals are my connection to my higher power, or a big part of it anyway.
I started thinking back to when I was a kid... I have never NOT had a pet of some sort in all my life. And when I was a kid, I was not raised with any kind of religion or any talk of God or any kind of higher power. I can remember when I had problems and worries, I held my animals, whatever I had at the time, even hamsters, and would tell them my problems and worries and cry and just hold them... and looking back at it, those were my prayers, that was my spirituality at the time. I've noticed with my dog, and with my favorite cat I had before her, that I still do the same thing, and that for me, that is a way of praying... I have conversations with my dog and talk to her about what is going on, and what is worrying me, and at the same time I am talking to my higher power... it's like my dog just gives me some kind of "physical connection" I guess... if that makes any sense. I do have my own meditation and prayer time, without her, also... but seems like the times I feel most connected to my higher power are when I am with my dog, or with other critters I care about.
Last spring, I was finally able to really do the first 3 steps, after a relapse. I'd struggled before with the 2nd and 3rd steps. But last spring it came much easier... because I was living on a farm at the time, I was raising all these baby chicks that my friend got me and that I bought, and some baby turkeys and guineas, and had chicks hatching out in the barn, and lambs being born... It was a truly amazing spiritual thing for me... seeing all that, seeing my god's creations come to be, it hit me right then that there is some kind of loving god that made us, not just those animals, and made everything around us... it hit me then that my god is a loving god, with unconditional love like those critters have/had for me... I don't know, it was something in all that, that it just really hit me. It was a truly amazing experience. it was my first time in my life to be around that many animals, to care for that many animals, to see them hatching or being born.
Since then, and in these past few months really looking at my spirituality and where I'm at... I really saw that connection with the animals... some people think I'm insane for how I am about critters... maybe I am, I dunno lol at a couple of meetings I've been to recently talking about our concept of God, I've shared a bit about this, and have had a couple of people tell me they were sorta the same way.... and here I was thinking I was the only one insane enough to get so fanatic about animals lol And mostly looking at my dog... I can remember my first sponsor asking me if I can describe my god, what is my god like... my god is like my dog - devoted, loving unconditionally, not turning her back on me when I mess up...
Not really sure why I'm posting this, like I said part of it is curiosity, to see if others relate to this... part of it is just wanting to share how this has hit me lately, and what an amazing thing it is for me... And I thank God I'm sober today, so that I can care for my critters... had a really rough experience a few months ago with having to put my pet tom down, I know that's farm life, but it was really hard for me, and a friend pointed out to me that at least I was sober to see my tom's suffering and to be able to end his suffering, that if I'd been drinking I would have let him go on hurting... that really hit me then... and I realized there is a reason I'm sober today, and a reason that tom was in my care, the guy I was living with was not going to put him down when he needed it. Just another way I look at "everything happens for a reason" I guess...
I'm rambling, which I'm really good at lol but just had this on my mind tonight and felt like posting...
Thanks,
Lisa