angussdundee
09-30-2007, 06:46 AM
Why do people with the obvious signs of alcoholism practice denial?
The friends and families of the drinker can be forgiven for thinking that this person is bad or stupid, uncaring or ignorant. After all, they can easily recall plenty of occasions when they seemed to behave that way.
My belief, based on my own experience is, they deny they are ill to themselves as well as everyone else in order to protect themselves from facing the stark reality of their desperate situation.
The alcoholic does not want to face the truth, partly because of the fear of being branded with the stigma of being 'an alcoholic' and also an even greater fear of having to give up the booze, as thats the very thing that enables them to perform.
Profesionals such as psychiatrists who have worked with alcoholics/addicts recognise this behaviour as being a 'primitive defence mechanism'. The victims will go to increadable lengths to convice themselves and others that they are still in control. It's often useful for a short time but if continued the denial can be fatal. We recovering alcoholics have seen plenty of such people carrying on this act, trying to justify it with statements like - "I can stop if I want, I'm just not ready yet" - or - "I'll cut back and only drink at weekends" - or how about this old line - "I work hard for my family, I'm entitled to have a drink or two to unwind".
This seemingly arrogant dismisal of the truth can still be heard when the person is being visited in the liver disease wards or the psychiatric units of the hospitals, such is the nature of this stubborn denial.
The very same denial can also often be displayed by the victims close family due to the very same stigma that is attached to the word 'alcoholic'. "He's been admited to hospital due to the preasure he's been under at work" - or - "She's been suffering from anxiety and depression for a long time"....
Don't make excuses for an alcoholic! This will only enable them to continue to become more and more sick to the point where they
may eventualy go insane or die a dreadful alcoholic death.
If, when you read this you think I'm exagerating, then go and visit your local hospital. Enter the wards that deal specificaly with liver disease and see how the victims skin has turned yellow. Watch as they shuffle to and fro with their stomachs swelled out from their enlarged livers and listen to them still practicing denial! I just have. My brother was 'again' admited to such a ward recently and he never came out. He died two weeks ago - he was 58 years old.
This deadly denial can be exposed when the drinkers attend meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. Eventualy they can come to terms with the facts, that they are alcoholics and there is a solution to their problem. Al-Anon meetings can also help the friends and the families of the drinkers to learn more about how futile it is to play along with this deadly game because of embarassement or pride, either way it still amounts to denial in the end.
My sole intention for sharing this is that it may be helpful to someone, somewhere.
God help us all,
Anguss.
The friends and families of the drinker can be forgiven for thinking that this person is bad or stupid, uncaring or ignorant. After all, they can easily recall plenty of occasions when they seemed to behave that way.
My belief, based on my own experience is, they deny they are ill to themselves as well as everyone else in order to protect themselves from facing the stark reality of their desperate situation.
The alcoholic does not want to face the truth, partly because of the fear of being branded with the stigma of being 'an alcoholic' and also an even greater fear of having to give up the booze, as thats the very thing that enables them to perform.
Profesionals such as psychiatrists who have worked with alcoholics/addicts recognise this behaviour as being a 'primitive defence mechanism'. The victims will go to increadable lengths to convice themselves and others that they are still in control. It's often useful for a short time but if continued the denial can be fatal. We recovering alcoholics have seen plenty of such people carrying on this act, trying to justify it with statements like - "I can stop if I want, I'm just not ready yet" - or - "I'll cut back and only drink at weekends" - or how about this old line - "I work hard for my family, I'm entitled to have a drink or two to unwind".
This seemingly arrogant dismisal of the truth can still be heard when the person is being visited in the liver disease wards or the psychiatric units of the hospitals, such is the nature of this stubborn denial.
The very same denial can also often be displayed by the victims close family due to the very same stigma that is attached to the word 'alcoholic'. "He's been admited to hospital due to the preasure he's been under at work" - or - "She's been suffering from anxiety and depression for a long time"....
Don't make excuses for an alcoholic! This will only enable them to continue to become more and more sick to the point where they
may eventualy go insane or die a dreadful alcoholic death.
If, when you read this you think I'm exagerating, then go and visit your local hospital. Enter the wards that deal specificaly with liver disease and see how the victims skin has turned yellow. Watch as they shuffle to and fro with their stomachs swelled out from their enlarged livers and listen to them still practicing denial! I just have. My brother was 'again' admited to such a ward recently and he never came out. He died two weeks ago - he was 58 years old.
This deadly denial can be exposed when the drinkers attend meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. Eventualy they can come to terms with the facts, that they are alcoholics and there is a solution to their problem. Al-Anon meetings can also help the friends and the families of the drinkers to learn more about how futile it is to play along with this deadly game because of embarassement or pride, either way it still amounts to denial in the end.
My sole intention for sharing this is that it may be helpful to someone, somewhere.
God help us all,
Anguss.