ex-actor
07-30-2007, 10:35 AM
I am a 42 year old woman who stayed away from drinking because all in my family have the disease. A year ago I married my childhood sweetheart who had a heroin addiction. I became a classic co-dependant, he left and I started drinking. I have lost everything. I am living with my brother and yesterday he gave me two weeks to move out. I am terrified. I have a 28 year old boyfriend who drinks. We have be trying to stop for a while. Last night when my brother told me to leave I had a choice to drink, but I drove to his office, unlocked the door with my key and sat in the dark realizing I need to get help. My family loves me, but they have projected their problems on to me. I am a reminder of where they have all been . . . I have a problem with feeling like a victim, I did this way before I started to drink. So, now I am almost homeless, will be without a job in 2 weeks, (my brother was my employer) and I am freakin' terrified. Someone suggested a sober living house, but I do not know where to go. I want my life back, but a better life. I can't believe I am here. I stopped drugs and drinking when I was 17 and took drinking back up at 41? Drinking is a monster. It took a hold of me and destroyed my life. Now, I have to find the strength to get back . . .