Hangin on

[jodan_3]

Hi,all
Well here i am yet again 6 days sober. I can't understand why i just can't get this 'simple programme', i know that im an alcoholic and i know that my life is unmanageable when i drink, so why do i?. I was sober for 8 months at the longest and it was the best 8 months of my life. But i wanted to be 'normal' 'fit in' and i really thought i could. I've been getting 2 meetings a day this week and no-one in the rooms know about my slip. I did discuss it with an aa member who is a while around, she has been a great help to me, but to be honest i don't want any help and i don't know why. Am i not finished drinking ? is this what i'm up to in my head. If anyone can relate or has any advice i would be grateful.

Carol

[angussdundee]

Hi Carol, Why do you feel the need to not come up front about your 'slip'? Perhaps when you do want help you will feel the need to be honest at your meetings and with your fellow AA's. Untill then, I wish you well.

Anguss.

[jodan_3]

Hi Carol, Why do you feel the need to not come up front about your 'slip'? Perhaps when you do want help you will feel the need to be honest at your meetings and with your fellow AA's. Untill then, I wish you well.

Anguss.


Thanks Anguss, the reason i have said nothing is because of the shame i feel.

[kremjk]

I can't understand why i just can't get this 'simple programme', i know that im an alcoholic and i know that my life is unmanageable when i drink, so why do i?.
Carol


Once in a while he may tell the truth. And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have. Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count.

How true this is, few realize. In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will.

The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive. page 23-big book

[angussdundee]

Carol, I hope you continue to post here. We care very much for you and we want you to get well.
Stopping drinking and recovering from our alcoholism is not about blame or shame or any of those selfish emotional excuses that we try to hide behind. In fact it is about the opposite of hiding. It's about standing right up and being honest. It's a big call but a very neccessary one if we are to make any progress at all.
All the answeres are in the and big book and Jim has outlined a very important part for you to read right there.
Why don't you call this lady who is "a while around" and who has been "a great help to you" and get honest with her.
Dump this shame routine, it's a waste of your time and it's bound to hold you back from stepping out into the light that is out there.

Keep coming back,

anguss.

[jodan_3]

Hi all,
I went to a meeting where i shared about my slip, this is a first for me as before i never told anyone. To say i feel free is the only way i can describe how i am tonight, how can just saying something relieve so much anxiety. By which i mean the feelings of ' what will they say/think' about me. No-one judged me or critized me, in fact i came away with four phone numbers of long sober women who don't live that far from me. Im so glad i found this forum and thank you for your advise.

Carol

[angussdundee]

Carol, It's interesting to hear of the relief that is often felt by people who share what's going on inside of themselves. I often think it is more powerful and more natural than the anti-depressants that are all too often prescribed to patients by their well intentioned doctors. Sharing how we feel at AA meetings is a necessary part of the recovery process - and it works.
Some people find it easier to start sharing than others do, but share we must. We don't have to go around spilling our guts right left and centre. A little here and a little there is usualy all that is required to get us into the habit, especialy if we feel comfortable at a particular meeting. We will steadily build our confidence enough to be able to start to share the things that are really troubling us with other, understanding people. It is then that the healing will begin.

Well done,
anguss.

[jodan_3]

Hi all

Its been a great day today, :). I prayed so hard for god (my higher power) to give me the courage to not pick up a drink today. I'm toying with it in my head and i really don't want to. I'll do his will to the best of my ability and i should be ok. I really do not want to pick up that first drink.

Carol

[samf]

Hoping all is well!

Did they tell you, too, that if you feel tempted to drink use, the phone numbers you got and clal them...it is so funny/strange how that works.

It can be scary to call, but usually those fears prove to be unfounded, once the phone call is made.

Hope your today is a good one!

sam

[CarolD]

Hi Carol..

I too had a hard time staying sober
until I ead a book
"Under The Influence"
by Milam & Ketcham

It explained WHY I drank
when I wanted to quit.

I used that information
added God & AA
and have not had another drink.

Recovery Rocks!

[jodan_3]

Hi All

Thankyou all so much for yur comments. I'm still on track and sober, getting a meeting every day and when i can two. I will definitely get that book as i do like a good read espeically if i can relate.

Talk later

Carol

[CarolD]

;D Keep in focus...you ae moving forward.

[jodan_3]

Hi all, im still here and feeling more positive :) in fact im attending my first A A dance tonight with some women i met at the meetings. Today i am so grateful to be sober and to be honest any time before i never felt gratitude, i felt that i was missing out on something. The last couple of weeks i dont know where the time has gone. I pray i hold on to this gratitude as i would be someone that slips into the poor me's very easily. Only this time thru talking to some wonderful sober people i am aware. Hope you all have a peaceful weekend i'm looking forward to my dance this evening.

Carol

[samf]

Hoping you have a BLAST!!! So glad for you!!!

Sam

[jodan_3]

Hi all, well the bones are sore and the body is tired but the A A dance was fantastic. I forgot i'm not 25 anymore ;D, so many sober people living life to the full is'nt it great. I'm starting a new job tomorrow and am a bit apprehensive, but alcoholic or not i think that goes without saying. One thing is for sure if i wasn't sober i wouldn't be able to start any job. Anyway i'm off to my meeting with my new A A friends, take care all, speak soon.

Carol

[samf]

That's great!!! LOL...sore bones! Yes...think I have been a little apprehensive every new job I ever started...drunk or sober. (Ok...maybe I thought I was Wonder Woman, drunk...bravado...)

Hoping it all goes well...I try to remind myself to breathe and to ask HP for help. That helps me, anyway.

Sam

[jodan_3]

Hi all,
Well its been a great week, new job is going well, i'm still sober and still turning my day over. My dads brother died today so i suppose this will be a test for me in the next few days. The Irish tend to go overboard with alcohol at funerals. Ill keep in touch here and at my meetings, take care all.

Carol

[samf]

Carol, hi! Am sorry about your dad's brother! It sounds good...your plans to stay sober, through the funeral! Remember you can call another person if need be...it has saved my butt, sometimes.

Sam

[jodan_3]

Hi all

Funeral is all over and i'm still sober thank God. For the first time tonight my son spoke to me about how my drinking was for him (he's 14). To be honest i can remember some of the things he spoke about and the shameful thing is at that time i didn't care, the only thing i can say to is today i do care. Although i picked up a drink after 8 months a couple of weeks ago, my aa meetings stood to me and whether i knew it or not i had an awareness. Thank God he didn't see me drinking although he is aware of it.