A Day in the Life With COPD...

[MajestyJo]

A Day In the Life With COPD: This could be you!

Note: This is how my life was before I quit smoking over 12 years ago. I was a slave to this habit to the point that I had convinced myself that I couldn't live WITHOUT my cigarettes. Then I realized I wouldn't live WITH them.

A Typical Morning:

Wake up.....can`t breathe. Take off my breathing mask that I have to sleep with for sleep apnea. I forget to breath while I`m sleeping plus for some reason, when I lay down my oxygen isn`t saturated by my blood, so I have oxygen hooked up to the CPAP machine, too. So I have to turn off the CPAP and the oxygen machine (it doesn`t really go with the decor in my bedroom but there`s no place I can hide it). Sure wish I could get rid of those marks on my face that are left by the headgear. Not to mention what it does to my hair!


Barely make it to my nebulizer for my first treatment of the day. Hands shaking as I try to open my two medicine vials. I`m deep breathing (pucker-breaths, like the respiratory therapist taught me) to try and get the carbon dioxide out of my lungs). Finish the 15 minute treatment. Take a puff of Advair for my asthma. Feeling really great.

Head out to the porch to have my first cigarettes of the day, coffee and take my Kleenex for all the phlegm I cough up. Making sure it`s not green so I can immediately start on the antiobiotics the doc has me keep at home because I can get pneumonia really easy and die. I have prednisone on hand, too. Sometimes they give me cortisone shots when I`m really bad. The steroids I have to take make me fat and puffy.

Phone call....ran out of breath trying to get there before the machine turns on. Having a hard time talking....hard to breath and talk at the same time. Don`t seem to enjoy phone conversations like I used to.

It`s 10am and I can have another breathing treatment. Let`s see....time for another few cigarettes to `clear out my lungs`. Of course, I could`ve just taken the expectorant that the doctor gave me, it would clear out my lungs, too, without putting all that junk back in.

Wonder if I`ll make it to the mailbox? Sure am having trouble getting a good breath. It`s good I put that chair in the front yard, halfway to the mailbox. Sit down and catch my breath. Head up to the porch to read the mail. Have another couple of cigarettes. Can`t breathe again but it`s time for another breathing treatment.

2pm. Get to the grocery store in between treatments. I`ll take my portable nebulizer and oxygen. I hate having to have the box girl unload the groceries but I just don`t have enough air left. I smoke a cigarette in the car (waiting until I'm out of the parking lot so people who've seen me on my oxygen won't see me smoking), remembering to turn off my portable oxygen so I don`t blow myself up. Finish the it and turn the oxygen back on. I sure wish it was time for that breathing treatment!!!!!

I have one of those coughs that make everybody look at you with the `Should I call the paramedics?` look. So embarrassing!!! Especially in restaurants!

Don`t have enough air to unload all the groceries so I bring in only the frozen and refrigerated things. Dear hubby will have to bring in the rest when he gets home.

I`m so tired from not getting enough oxygen and all that walking I did. I'll take a nap until it`s time for my treatment. Still haven`t had my shower yet, but I have to plan it so that I can have a breathing treatment right afterwards. My lungs respond to the moisture and steam in the shower much like they do to rain.

6pm breathing treatment......thank heavens!

Hubby is home so I sneak out to the front porch to have a cigarette after dinner. He thinks I`ve quit smoking. Finish my smoke.....chew some gum.....spray some perfume and I figure he won`t notice the smell of the smoke.....yeah, right!

The doc says I have 38% lung capacity left.

That my friend is what living with COPD and smoking is like!

I can`t begin to tell you how much I wish I had quit smoking years ago before I had done the damage to my lungs.

Hugs,
Gramma CeeCee
http://rossonranch.com/Quit.html

[schell08122008]

Jo, What an eye opener! Of course that doesn't mean I will quit the cigs today or the next, but I never heard someone really express what a day is like. I don't want to live that way. If I keep smoking I will , I am there! I curse myself for ever starting smoking again, now I am just pissed. Thank you Schell
Take care of yourself you have much words of wisdom to share.

[Mountainman]

thank you MajestyJo for sharing this
if it causes or helps just one to stop smoking
that will be a blessing for many
my ex just died a short time back from COPD caused by smoking
it was a sad hard long death
MM

[MajestyJo]

I had absolutely NO desire to quit. I had to pray for the willingness to be willing. My doctor put me on an inhaler when I came into recovery because I was so sick he said it would kill me to quit the pills, alcohol, and cigarettes.

I lasted one week and everyone talked about putting on the weight. I picked up because I had a fear of putting on weight because my mom died at the age of 40 because she used food to deal with my father's alcoholism and philandering (not sure that is spelled right). Ended up when I did quit, I used the NA program, picked up key tags, and lost 3 lbs. I later put the weight on before I recognized that I was using food, lost some and then my doctor put me on medication that put weight on. That lead to a really big eating disorder.

I never saw the insanity when I was in it. Standing in the middle of my living room with my legs cross, trying not to wet my pants so I could light a cigarette so I could GO to the bathroom. I had to change the patterns and habits before I could quit and put down the cigarettes. No cigarettes when I woke up, after a meal, at the computer, on the phone, in the car, etc. I had to wash everythng in my apartment, my clothes, my walls, drapes, etc. It invaded my space and I didn't realize how much I used them to stuff my feelings. When I had an emotion, I grabbed a cigarette. When I felt hungry, I picked up a cigarette. When I didn't know what to do with my hands, I picked up a cigarette, just the same as I did my other addictions. I was 7 years sober when I quit smoking. When I quit I felt the ANGER in my life, before that I never truly felt it. As my counselor use to say, 'If you don't feel it, you should. You can't let it go until you do." Under that anger was rejection and abandonment that I hadn't dealt with in my first three fourth Steps.

I could only quit, when I came to the decision that I wanted to be a clear, clean channel. As a result of my smoking, I have something on my lung they can't identify and I was told to go back in September to see if it has grown so they can identify it.

[Mountainman]

As a result of my smoking, I have something on my lung they can't identify and I was told to go back in September to see if it has grown so they can identify it.

I got a few of those things on the lungs
they say they are not cancer at this time
have to get Cat-Scans now every year to check size or change
yes I smoked plenty
but
my brother a non-smoker also has some

sounds like you have come a long ways MajestyJo

have a blessed day
Mountainman

[MajestyJo]

Saw this and had a chuckle. I had a lot of guilt when I lit one up knowing that I should quit. Fear and guilt, didn't stop me from having that one more.

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