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03-29-2011, 08:51 AM
THE ORIGIN OF THE 13th STEP
Yes, doing someone else?s inventory is permitted, but it is also generally frowned upon.
Why? Well, it is understood among longer-lived members of this fellowship that true personal recovery does not come from doing another?s inventory, but from sticking to one?s own. Another thing that?s permitted but generally frowned upon is ?Thirteenth Stepping?.
Just as AA is not a lending bank, an employment center, or a social club, AA is also not a dating service.
How did today?s concept of ?Thirteenth Stepping? arise? Originally, Old-timers recognized that our 12 Step program was indeed a ?one day at a time? lifelong effort.
The original usage of ?Thirteenth Step? was as a euphemism used by the first AA?s to signify one?s final step into the casket. After practicing the 12 Steps throughout a lifetime, it was said the deceased AA had made the ?13th Step? into the grave.?
Later, as the fellowship's experience grew, the term ?13th Step? took on its contemporary usage.
The ?Thirteenth Step? is commonly defined as the practice of dating a newcomer, or another AA member, with less than solid sobriety.
It is widely accepted that romantic relationships are never easy, even for non- alcoholics. Bearing in mind that alcohol and addiction is a very real potential death sentence for an alcoholic, if we choose to risk the very personal emotional trauma which may arise from an unsuccessful union, we then also risk the life of another out of our own self-will.
The admonition on pg. 119 of the ?Twelve & Twelve? is an understatement of great magnitude.
Certainly the likelihood for newcomers, or those of questionably stable sobriety, who are pursued for
(or who do pursue) romantic relationships, is that emotional handicaps shall indeed rise up and cripple them, causing a significant number of them to relapse ? a relapse which can become a ?13th Step? death sentence.
Hence it?s easy to understand how the term ?13th Stepping? came to mean what it does today.
That?s why ?Thirteenth Stepping?, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.
Clearly, playing fast and loose with another person?s life is irresponsible and reprehensible. The old saying, ?there?s a slip under every skirt?, in this day and age is so cute and coy that it fails to fully emphasize this most serious of problems.
?The problem being??? you ask?
If you are actively practicing the ?Thirteenth Step?, look no further than the closest mirror and you will see that perhaps the root of the problem is you.
From The Victor Valley May 2003 Newsletter.
Yes, doing someone else?s inventory is permitted, but it is also generally frowned upon.
Why? Well, it is understood among longer-lived members of this fellowship that true personal recovery does not come from doing another?s inventory, but from sticking to one?s own. Another thing that?s permitted but generally frowned upon is ?Thirteenth Stepping?.
Just as AA is not a lending bank, an employment center, or a social club, AA is also not a dating service.
How did today?s concept of ?Thirteenth Stepping? arise? Originally, Old-timers recognized that our 12 Step program was indeed a ?one day at a time? lifelong effort.
The original usage of ?Thirteenth Step? was as a euphemism used by the first AA?s to signify one?s final step into the casket. After practicing the 12 Steps throughout a lifetime, it was said the deceased AA had made the ?13th Step? into the grave.?
Later, as the fellowship's experience grew, the term ?13th Step? took on its contemporary usage.
The ?Thirteenth Step? is commonly defined as the practice of dating a newcomer, or another AA member, with less than solid sobriety.
It is widely accepted that romantic relationships are never easy, even for non- alcoholics. Bearing in mind that alcohol and addiction is a very real potential death sentence for an alcoholic, if we choose to risk the very personal emotional trauma which may arise from an unsuccessful union, we then also risk the life of another out of our own self-will.
The admonition on pg. 119 of the ?Twelve & Twelve? is an understatement of great magnitude.
Certainly the likelihood for newcomers, or those of questionably stable sobriety, who are pursued for
(or who do pursue) romantic relationships, is that emotional handicaps shall indeed rise up and cripple them, causing a significant number of them to relapse ? a relapse which can become a ?13th Step? death sentence.
Hence it?s easy to understand how the term ?13th Stepping? came to mean what it does today.
That?s why ?Thirteenth Stepping?, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.
Clearly, playing fast and loose with another person?s life is irresponsible and reprehensible. The old saying, ?there?s a slip under every skirt?, in this day and age is so cute and coy that it fails to fully emphasize this most serious of problems.
?The problem being??? you ask?
If you are actively practicing the ?Thirteenth Step?, look no further than the closest mirror and you will see that perhaps the root of the problem is you.
From The Victor Valley May 2003 Newsletter.