Expectations

[angussdundee]

At a meeting the other evening, I had a relatively new member asked me when the 'promises' would start to appear in her life.

" Now that I'm sober" she said "I have all these expectations and they still come to nothing", She went on, "everyone else seems to be getting on with their lives and families and starting new relationships or getting great job offers and I just feel like I'm still where I was when I first came into AA". I could relate to every word she spoke so it wasn't difficult for me to share a little with her.

If we expect our new lives to suddenly go from hell to heaven overnight now that we're sober then we are setting ourselves up for a fall, and a very big one at that. Yes, those things do happen to people now that we're not drinking because we're all different. We didn't get sick all at the same time and we won't get well alltogether either. Sometimes the recovery process is longer and more difficult for some of us but that doesn't mean that we have to throw the towel in or throw our dreams and expectations out of the window. It's important to hold on to those dreams, they're what keep us moving forward. We must work for those dreams and hopes with all of our might. What we must not do is get depressed or disappointed if they don't come to pass as quickly as we would like them to.

Remember; "Are these extavagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them".

Anguss.

[samf]

Anguss, great post!

That is so true!

They used to always say, "Don't give up five seconds before the miracle happens."

When some of us get here, our lives are in chaos, first of all. There's all that "wreckage of the past" that will need to be cleaned up.

One friend says it like this: "It's like you are driving a station wagon, and it's just full of junk, in the back...all the things that have accumulated as a result of our drinking and drugging. You get clean and sober, it's like slamming on the breaks, and all that junk slams forward and hits you in the head!"

This doesn't have to be discouraging.

For me, I got sober, and my HP helped me work through things, one thing at a time. The steps help me grow, and take care of all that junk.

I don't even see how, all the time, but it happens.

It just takes time.

And AA is full of folks who have worked through thier own problems...is full of miracles and hope!

If I fast forward, for me, when my husband died suddenly, my whole world as I knew it fell apart. Exploded. Everything changed in a heartbeat!

But, thank God, even though I didn't know how things would happen or what would happen, I klnew to hang on and just keep walking through things, one day at a time, and somehow, even though I didn't know how, things would all work out.

No expectations. Just hope that it would be ok.

It was.

I had a friend who used to hug me and say, "I know it doesn't feel ok, but it will BE ok."

I still hold on to that.

Thanks , Anguss...and to anyone new...please...just keep coming back...and don't give up, five seconds before the miracle.

I think you'll be so glad you stayed!

I am.

Sam