New "Again"

[markg4468]

Hi! My name is mark....I have been away for awile but now I am back...It hasen't been all that long but I am scared and feel very alone in my recovery despite a lot of people that care about me..
Can anyone give me some suggestions about getting through idle time?? I have a real hard time being alone, all I think about is using because I am so down..I hate it! I try so hard to occupy my time...
Any suggestions?
I appreciate it!
Mark

[fishdocdon]

I agree with both previous posts. In addition I used the book LIVING SOBER, as my guide and bible for about a yr. I still use hints from it in my daily life today, after 15 yrs. Whenever I was idle I was reading it or other recovery stuff. At first the Big Book was MAJOR LITERATURE to me, but LIVING SOBER was simple and made sense. Good luck on your journey. GBWU Don

[angussdundee]

To fill the empty spaces in the begining I just went and had ANOTHER bath. I had so many baths everything shrunk...... :-[

But I'm alright now! (he said in a very deep voice).....cough!

anguss. :D

[fishdocdon]

I know where the Agness came from Anguss it was the extreme shrinkage factor. Off topic but I still am giggling. GBWU All Don

[angussdundee]

It wasn't funny at the time Don.. :-[.

We can all relate to Mark's feeling of loneliness, isolation and how to cope with all this new 'sober' time. I certainly can.
Apart from the baths routine.. :-\ I also visited my doctor more times than I ever did when I was drinking, for check up's.
I seemed to have more aches and pains than I ever did, of course I wasn't using the anisthetic booze anymore.
Then, after another bath, I also visited my dentist who measured me up for a new bridge to replace the teeth that had been cracked and bent from my falling over routine that I was famous for when I was drunk. Then, (you guessed it, another bath).
I paid a visit to the optician, I couldn't read the Big Book without the aid of a small magnifying glass that I kept beside my bed.. ???

These vital signs of new growth are important, healthy steps towards our recovery process. My doctor told me to clean house and trust in a God of my understanding and that's what I set out to do. In between the visits to the medics I was encouraged to get to meetings, which at first I reluctantly did. Then, as the new green shoots of recovery began to appear, I actualy started to change. A new energy started to flow in to me and I actualy started to enjoy the challenges that I was having to face on a daily basis. Hope at last... :)

I still run a hot bath when I feel at a loose end, or I go into the kitchen and rustle up something nice to eat. I pick up my old acoustic guitar from time to time and fingerpick a few of my favourite old toonz. I lift the phone and call another alcoholic, he's usualy in the bath but hey, it keeps me sober. I go to many different AA meetings because that's where my friends are and I keep in the loop of life.
I'll never forget bumping into one of my old boozing buddies in the plumbers merchants one day (I was replacing the taps on my bath through over use) He asked me what I was doing with my time now that I wasn't proping up the bar with him. I just couldn't explain to him how my life had changed so much for the better now that I had finally managed to put down, and KEEP DOWN the booze, I told him that there was just not enough hours in the day to fit it all in.

Keep coming back Mark, it works if you work it "our own recovery proves that".

Anguss.

[fishdocdon]

Love ur story and your humor anguss. Yep , I hope Mark got many ideas from the posts. I have experienced the healing of the sick body also. Famous last words "If I knew i was going to live this long, I'da taken better care of myself". Mark the program works!!!! Give it an honest effort and you'll be very grateful for the results in your life. Good luck
GBWU Don

[markg4468]

Thank you all for the suggestions...I appreciate them..I have been away on business for a week and have not had a chance to reply..
Last time I made it a year, time before that over 5, I just needed a point in the right direction, with my job it is hard to get to more than 1 meeting a week...

Thanks again guys! So far, so good..

PS..Anyone know of a good moisturizer? My skin is sooooo dry from the baths and showers.....
LOL!

[CarolD]

;D Welcome back Mark....

Blessings

[markg4468]

Thanks again....Day 10 and all is well...It was a great weekend..The weather has broken here in Western NY and I worked in yard all weekend..I feel really good!!
Have a great day all!

[markg4468]

I do a few others online but only one in person..I work from 8am to between 8-9 pm each day but sunday..Most of it is travel...

Today is like day 12..AGAIN!! That's what is so depressing. I can't believe I am back at the beginning again.

Been feeling pretty well but I am taking each day as it comes..Some are better than others as you can imagine..Ambien is all that helps me sleep for a few hrs. a nite..


Thanks again for the suggestions..It means a lot that you all are here for me!
I am grateful!
Mark

[samf]

In person meetings are awesome, when you can get yourself to them!

I have a home group, and have gotten to know the members in my group and we do a lot of things together...have a lot of fun, too.

And there is always someone to talk to when I am jammed up.

The steps are good for me, too. I can't believe the change in my outlook and feelings.

And realtionships.

It is great that you do online meetings and share. It sure helps me, anyway!

I can sure relate to some days being better than others!!!

Still has my drinking beat all to heck! ;D

I couldn't sleep for quite a while, either. I still have to watch my caffiene and not do that...interferes with my sleep...I try not to eat a lot before bed...junk like that.

Imagine working that late, it takes a while to wind down?

Hope your today is the best!

Sam

[markg4468]

Thanks Sam...I appreciate all your input!! It has been hard to put a string of good days together..I have 2 good, 3 bad.. All are without the use of drugs/alcohol so I guess in hindsight, all are good. I just feel so crappy....

I don't like taking the Ambien at night but the Dr says it is a must right now, and that it is non-habit forming ( he doesn't know me too well..Lol...) and non-narcotic. I dunno? Now I have a terrible flu and I feel even worse!

I just want to put this whole relapse in the rear view mirror and fast ya know?

Thank again!

[samf]

Mark, hi.

I had trouble sleeping, too. I still have some trouble, here and there.

My bad days got further and further apart. It just took a while. But I still remember and still have an occasional crappy day! ;D

Yah...and I remember them saying that my worst day sober is still better than my best day drunk. I believe that.

Maybe early on the drinking was kind of fun, but it sure got miserable, later...and since the disease is progressive, I could never get back there to "fun"...it was always misery, compulsion...etc.

Hoping the flu egts better!!!

I don't know a thing about Ambien...not a doc, anyway.

I know I can get addicted to Oreos, even so your "he doesn't know me well" made me laugh!

One day at a time, and the rearview mirror is working out ok.

I sometimes drink milk in the evenings, too...helps me a little with sleep, for some reason. I read myself to sleep or turn the little tv on real low, and watch, until I get sleepy.

I do those things because I think my head thinks it is supposed to talk, as soon as I slow down, and have learned not to listen to it, too much! LOL!

Happy today...hoping it is a good one!

Sam