Serenity

[samf]

Hi. Posted this on another board this morning, and thought I would post it here, too.

Maybe it would be a good topic. I don't know.

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Hi.

I didn't know where to post this, and am not sure how the post is going to end up, but here is what happened.

In the mornings, I try to get set for the day by having some reading and thinking about recovery...time with my Higher Power, etc.

I realized as I was going through things that I just felt peaceful.

There was no clamoring going on inside of me...no rushing to get to the top of the pile...no screaming about worries and fears...no, "what if"..."what do I do about..."..."Oh, there's so much to do"..."I'm a failure, worthless, unloveable"...whatever likes to run through my mind. I was just peaceful.

No guilt about blowing my stack...anger about someone I wanted to choke the living doo doo out of because they had somehow stepped on her majesty's toes. Weird.

And I just thanked my HP for giving me that, for this minute.

I had been considering how much of my acting out is to get what I want, which is usually the thought that I am loved and cared for and valuable just for being me.

And it didn't matter.

Life is pretty simple, unless I complicate it.

My needs are met. My wants are like an impossible list for Santa Claus.

All the internal striving is what ends up screwing with my serenity.

How neat to just have a pause in all the racing my mind can tend to do and just be here and be present and let go, and just be.

Anyway, wanted to share it.

I was grateful.

Love,

Sam

[fishdocdon]

Good post Sam. When I can let go and let God, things are great. Now the big BUT!!!!!!!, SINCE GIVING UP ANYTHING TO WIN is not natural for me, I seem to complicate things also. I try to be guided as per pgs.86-87 BB but my forgetter is still pretty strong. It always comes back to giving up, seems simple enough. Maybe in time, if it's God's will , I'll get it down like AGNES AND WOLF. GBWU ALL Don

[fishdocdon]

Hey, AGNESS AND WOLF, YOU GUYS SLEEPING OR ON VACATION????? Thought I might get a little rise from you. Have a good day. GBWU Don

[WolfM]

Hi Fishdocon,
Not sleeping. Just catching up with the real world. My last day of working in Guam was Friday and I brought most of my belongings home in two big boxes, a suitcase, and a duffle bag. I still need to go back later this month and turn over the apartment and ship my car. But I have jumped feet first into my new job (which was my old job) and I have 18 months to catch up on. I did attend a prison meeting this morning and plan on making a couple of meetings this week. But I have corporate visitors and vendors everyday this week (and I have to make one more trip to Guam on Tuesday returning early Wednesday morning), so life is pretty hectic. I am trying to remained centered however, and remind myself that all of this is happening in God's good time, and for his reasons. So I know that I am right where I am supposed to be today.
Anyway, thanks for the shout out!

Wolf M