Cravings .....

[Yvonne]

A question for the "oldtimers". Does the CRAVING - the actual physical and mental craving every go away? I understand that I will have to be vigilant for the rest of my life to not pick up that first drink, but this craving is awful - my mouth even waters at the thought of a glass of wine. :(

And if it does go - does it take a really long time? Or is that a stupid question - like how long is a piece of string?


Yvonne

[kremjk]

You can ask the oldtimers that wrote the book, Alcoholics Anonymous...

This site has a helpful aid to finding answers in the books...

From the home page select... "Big Book Discussion Area" at the top is a post titled "useful links..."
Select that and the third selection down will be a "Search Engine" for the Big Book... Select that and in the "search" box type craving and the hit enter. Read the results that come up and also find them in your own copy of the book.

There is helpful information there. This is an important question you have asked. It is also important that we seek answers from the book.

jim k

[Yvonne]

Thank you Jim ;D I will look it up right away.

Yvonne

[Carol87]

Yvonne -- so glad to see you here this morning ...

Do the cravings ever go away? I can only share what worked for me ... YES! the craving and compulsion to drink was lifted but not overnight. I struggled for a very long time with that issue, especially when I first stopped drinking without the benefit of AA although I was in another alcohol-related 12 step group. I drank gallons of iced tea! and DON"T DO THIS but I also tried the so-called non-alcoholic wines. I honestly can't tell you just when the compulsion to drink was lifted but I can tell you I had nothing to do with it! I can also say I do know it was AFTER I started going to AA meetings on a regular basis, worked the steps ... especially the first three.
Some things that might temporarily help is to keep hard candy or chocolate handy. I've heard that mixing some honey with orange juice also helps. I say 'temporarily' only because in my opinion, the ONLY sure way is to be spiritually fit. (Some other words you might want to search for ... spiritual; substitute.)

Here are the ABC's of alcoholism again:

a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives
b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
c) That God could and would if He were sought.

Yvonne ... don't think in terms of NEVER drinking, that is way too overwhelming, do think in terms of not drinking ONE DAY or ONE HOUR, or ONE MINUTE at a time. Keep it simple!! Don't try to do everything in one day though! My first sponsor drummed into my head "It is a process" ...

There is a thread "12 Step Prayers" in the Steps and Traditions forum that you might want to look at. I just made it a 'sticky' so it is at the top of the forum.

I know I'm rambling ... so I do hope you will find other alcoholics to work with on a face to face basis ...

[fishdocdon]

For myself and friends that I have talked with--the cravings stopped, as close as we can determine, after step 3. I had some residual craving thoughts until I "fully conceeded to my inermost self that I was alcoholic" and got step 1 to 100%. That took me about 2 yrs. I held onto the maybe,possibly,hopefully thoughts for some time before I could give up. You see, giving up to win, was not in my makeup. Stay in the now and just do this 1 day at a time. The book Living Sober was my bible in the early days and I still love it and it's guidelines.
GBWU Don

[samf]

Me, personally, I seem to get a physical craving for another drink and another when I actually take a drink. So if I don't drink, I don't set that off.

My MIND, now...it didn't stop obsessing about a drink for a very long time. It seemed long to me. It was the worst for me, the first year, and then the times I really wanted a drink bad got less and less often, and today I don't think about a drink. If I do, it's just a passing thing and doesn't stay. I just end up thinking no...and think that is a "God thing".

But the obsessing made me want to drink, so bad, and I couldn't seem to stop it, on my own strength.

I ask God...whoever God is...ievery day to help me stay sober just for today, and I thank Him at night.

And I have been on my knees, asking Him to remove the compulsion to drink, the obsession...a lot of times...early on, especially.

I can read the big book, get to a meeting, call or talk to another alcoholic, ask my Higher Power for help. Sometimes early on I ate some ice cream and THAT helped. And other AA members, for me, were there to help me get through a LOT of difficult times.

That book Doc mentioned...Living Sober? It's also a GREAT book. Very practical help in there.

Here's another web site that is pretty cool for looking up words and things in the Big Book:

http://www.164andmore.com

Yvonne, if you ever just want to visit back and forth, send a pm. I'd be happy to, too.

Sending a hug!

Sam

[Carol87]

Sam's response reminded me ... I didn't mean to mislead you in my earlier post ... sometimes I DO have a craving ... WHEN I GET LAX IN WORKING MY PROGRAM. When a glass of wine on TV starts to look inviting, it's time to get back to basics ... go to more AA meetings, talk to my sponsor, PRAY, work the principles and steps. I'm almost 20 years sober but my continued sobriety is contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition.

(P.S. Sam thanks for including that link ... it is also included in the "helpful information" post in Big Book Discussion as
Big Book, 12 and 12 Concordance)

[WolfM]

Dear Yvonne,
Though I knew nothing about AA the morning after my last drunk, I knew that I never wanted to drink again. Really. I believe that the obsession for alcohol was lifted at that very moment. To say that I have not wanted to take a drink in the last 19 1/2 years would be a lie. But I have not craved a drink since then. Fleeting thoughts at both ends of the emotional spectrum, extremely relieved and extremely angry. I did the next right thing though. In the first situation, I just kept on driving past a bar on the beach. In the second situation, I went straight to a meeting. So for me the cravings went away immediately.
But I have never stopped going to meetings or doing the steps or working with other alcoholics. I am sure they will go away if you lean into the program. Try to think about something else.

Wolf M

[Yvonne]

Thanks everyone - you guys are just so overwhelmingly kind. Guess what, got tears in my eyes AGAIN reading these responses. :-[

Yvonne ... don't think in terms of NEVER drinking, that is way too overwhelming, do think in terms of not drinking ONE DAY or ONE HOUR, or ONE MINUTE at a time. Keep it simple!! Don't try to do everything in one day though! My first sponsor drummed into my head "It is a process" ...

There is a thread "12 Step Prayers" in the Steps and Traditions forum that you might want to look at. I just made it a 'sticky' so it is at the top of the forum.

I know I'm rambling ... so I do hope you will find other alcoholics to work with on a face to face basis ...


Carol, this hit home with me. I think I'm perhaps expecting too much too soon. I'm not a very patient person. I keep thinking and telling myself I will never drink again - and yes that is totally overwhelming me. I need someone to hit me on the head or something to get it in there - ONE DAY AT A TIME - that is so much more do-able. I will read the prayers, thank you. You are NOT rambling, these posts mean a lot!

Doc, I read that book "Sober Living" when I tried AA 4 years ago and threw it in the bin along with my BB at the time, but I'll buy it again. I remember that it was very helpful the 4 months I stayed sober.


Me, personally, I seem to get a physical craving for another drink and another when I actually take a drink. So if I don't drink, I don't set that off.

Yvonne, if you ever just want to visit back and forth, send a pm. I'd be happy to, too.

Sam


Sam, you are a honey! I will send you a PM - thank you for the offer. I don't want to be a nuisance to anyone on the site. As for you comment about craving after that first drink - I realise thats what happened to me. The craving came AFTER the drink. Before I had the drink it was obsessing and not a physical craving.

I am going to try all your suggestions - Wolf's to think of something else, and also to keep sweets on me. I have noticed that when I think about a drink - I forget about it if I eat some sweets or chocolate.

I am going to a meeting on Friday night and then next week I'm trying a different group to try and find someone to sponsor me or just to get a phone number I can use if I get desperate again.

I know I can do this if I throw myself into AA.

Thanks everyone.

Yvonne

P.S. I probably shouldn't laugh but the comment about the glass of wine on TV had me in stitches. I feel so stupid sometimes drooling at the TV!! ;D

[teeray]

Yvonne,

An addict counsellor I saw consistently when I first cleaned up - told me that alcohol 'cravings' do go away pretty quickly - and can only exist in your body between the time you have taken a drink and shortly after the time your body is 'withdrawing' after you stop drinking...(could be several days to a week after you stop drinking)...after that, the 'wanting a drink' is NOT truly a craving anymore - it's psychological - an OBSESSION. When I thought about it as a 'craving' - I felt like I didn't have control of my body wanting alcohol, along with my mind wanting it...once I learned that it was my mind that was the main problem, I felt like I could make it through a day as long as I asked for help when I needed it, worked on changing my attitudes, and followed the suggestions of my addict counsellor and supportive people who were involved in 12-step and recovery programs.

At least I discovered that through making new and better habits, doing better self-talk, DISTRACTING myself away from the 'old habits', I could have some control over the 'obsession' that my mind was 'pulling over me.' For some reason, 'obsession' was not a frightening word to me - I simply understood that when I 'felt like drinking' it was more truly that I kept thinking about drinking and THAT ALWAYS got me into trouble, made me more and more uncomfortable - until I learned to STOP obsessing all the time.

Meetings helped, meditation helped, talking to 'sponsor-like' people even before I had settled on a sponsor, and reading recovery literature - all helped.