Hello My name is Sarah and I have finally accepted I am an alcoholic

[sarahgd]

I am coming back to AA again...but this time it is different...I have truley accepted that I am an alcoholic...I cant ignore this any longer.. I am 23 years old and have a beautiful 10 month old daughter....I tell myself every few days that I will never drink again and alas...I drink again and again...I intend to only have a couple...every time...I say to myself...Im in controll....But I am not...Both of my parents are alcoholic...I promised myself that I would never be like them...especially my mother....It is a horrible disease....And alcohol turns me into a monster...Right now i loathe myself...but I am greatful that I am young and I have accepted that I am powerless....I intend to draw alot of strengh from all of you....thankyou

[WolfM]

Dear Sarah,
Someone asked me once how one could tell if one had a problem with alcohol. I said, "you start doing things you were never going to do." I did many of those things before I had a moment of clarity which told me that my life had become unmanageable. The alcoholic part I knew for a long time. Anyway, welcome to AASL. This is a wonderful supplement to the AA meetings that I attend. It has some really great people with lots of Experience, Strength, and Hope. But I still go to meetings, study the Big Book, have a and use my sponsor, and work the steps. I look forward to your sharing.

WolfM

[Anne_Onymous]

Hello Sarah & Welcome!

Like you, I came to terms with my alcoholism when my son was very little, and then I kept drinking because I thought that controlling it was about strength of character, willpower, & lots of other useless things... I only got help once I asked for it - which in itself can be a very scary thing - so congratulations to you for beginning this new way of life!

Love,

Anne

[samf]

Sarah, hi, and welcome!

Am so glad you are getting some help and can see you are powerless!

What a gift!

Sam

[sarahgd]

Thankyou everybody....Today is day three....And so far Im feeling fantastic! I have had the most productive last couple of days....I have been checking in on this site alot too.....I know that this is a honey moon period and its going to get harder to not pick up....I just have to be open with friends/family....so that they know that I am no longer drinking....so that I dont trick myself into drinking again....*you know* that little voice that says...."your ok, you can have a drink" Because Im not ok and i cannot have a drink! hope everybody here is doing well.....I am really excited about my new path.....

God bless ;D

[blossom]

Hi Sarah,

WELCOME :)

Acceptance for me was the key to start my recovery too! So pleased you are back and really look forward to knowing you in fellowship.

Love
Blossom

[samf]

Sarah, congradulations! I was happy to hear you had three days and were feeling better! Said a prayer for you...sending a hug!

Sam

[sarahgd]

Hello every body....
Ive been reading alot of the topics and posts in this forum and you are all a very inspiring bunch....Lots of lovely positive things to say...Its great !!
Well today is day 6.....Im still feeling great...Ive already been in 2 situations where I have been offered a drink...and I just simply said "no thankyou" and it was quite easy 4 me to do..
Its as simple as that...because I know that I have even 1 sip...I want more!
I've had 1 little trigger so far..and funnily enough it was from watching a movie...in one of the scenes Drew Barrymore was having a glass of wine...and I thought I would love to be having that glass of wine!...Anyway...I have been praying to god alot the last few days...and I will pray for you guys too...I hope you will keep praying for me...Thanks.

Love Sarah

[fishdocdon]

Seems to me Sarah , that you are setting yourself up for a fall.If you are an alcoholic as you stated, "just saying no thank you " is not going to work.
Please check out some AA meetings, etc. to try and get a way that has a chance to work. I'm keeping you in my prayers, but that isn't enough. God gave us free will and with that comes some action.

[CarolD]

:D Hello and Welcome Sarah!

For me...God and AA work together
to help me live sober.

Blessings

[sarahgd]

Seems to me Sarah , that you are setting yourself up for a fall.If you are an alcoholic as you stated, "just saying no thank you " is not going to work.

Sorry I didnt know that there was criteria for being an alcoholic...
Maybe I can give up without the meetings for now..If I need to I will go...

And if I can give up without meetings...does that mean I am not an alcoholic?

and if im not, then I guess Im not part of your "club"

[sarahgd]

Seems to me Sarah , that you are setting yourself up for a fall.If you are an alcoholic as you stated, "just saying no thank you " is not going to work.

Sorry I didnt know that there was criteria for being an alcoholic...
Maybe I can give up without the meetings for now..If I need to I will go...

And if I can give up without meetings...does that mean I am not an alcoholic?

[samf]

Hi, Sarah.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

That's directly from the AA preamble. (It is a part of the preamble...not the whole thing.)

In chapter five, in the AA Big Book, there is a line that says, "We thought we could find and easier, softer way, but we could not."

I don't know if you have a Big Book, but there is so much in there that sounds just like me. And I tried everything I knew to stop and stay stopped.

I really get so much help and hope from having the fellowship of AA as a part of my life, whether at this forum, or at face to face meetings. And I do both.

So these alcoholics realized they couldn't get sober on thier own power, unaided, and they found a way to get sober, so they eventually shared it with the world in a book called Alcoholics Anonymous.

AA isn't the only way to get sober, but it works for a lot of people.

I don't believe that anyone was trying to exclude you. They were maybe trying to help you get the help you may need and avoid some of the suffering you might still find...or might not. I'm not God, so I don't know.

We alcoholics, in general, in my opinion, really care, and don't want to see anyone die from this illness (alcoholism).

So we reach out and share what worked for us.

And what worked is in the AA Big Book. We followed the same path others had followed.

And somehow we found God was doing for us what we could not or would not do for ourselves.

But people get sober sometimes in church. And sometimes people get sober on a different spiritual path. And sometimes people get sober some other way.

AA doesn't have a corner on that. WE just found a way that worked for us.

Hope that somehow this is helpful.

They used to tell me all the time to keep coming back!

Hope that you will, too.

Sam

[fishdocdon]

Sorry I'm not trying to keep you out of the club. YOU stated that YOU were alcoholic and had family there also. YOU stated that you were coming back to AA. I assumed that you wanted the truth not a bunch of "it's ok dear, just do it your way " stuff. I truly believe that your LIFE depends on the outcome if you are an alcoholic. Was only trying to wake you up a bit. I'll keep you in my prayers anyhow. So take that and that!!!!!!!

GBWU Don

[angussdundee]

Hello Sarah, You are important to us. As Sam stated in her post - our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. Carol very astutely noticed that you are already acquaint with AA and it's purpose, so you will already have a good notion as to what we are about. Wolf as always keeps it simple when he suggests that you attend meetings, get yourself a sponsor and study the AA Big Book. Our great friend Fishdocdon shoots from the hip and we love him because he tells it like it is - no bull....
As for all the other kind and honest people here at AASL, they want only to see you getting well and perhaps staying with us to share your Hope, Strength and experience.
Just the very fact that you hesitate to go to meetings is a big indication that you need it. You may well be able to stay stopped for periods of time, but our own experience has already shown us that in order to STAY stopped we had to attend AA on a regular basis and concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. Trying to control our drinking is the great obsession of all problem drinkers. So being around alcohol is not the ideal place to be if you have a problem with alcohol.
Stick with the winners - you'll find them at a meeting near you.

Keep coming back,
anguss

[WolfM]

Dear Sarah,
I went on a 12 step call to a hospital a few years back. The man asked to speak to someone from AA. I told him what I was told when I first got in. You never have to drink again if you do not want to. How? Go to meetings. (I learned later on there is much more than just meetings, but that is a another story). I gave him a copy of the Big Book, and I told him when and where the meetings were. I also told him to be careful about feeling better. He was in the hospital. He was getting good food, good care, and NO alcohol. I told him that he would feel even better tomorrow, and then the next day. In fact he would start feeling so good he would forget why he was in there. I re-iterated the meetings and what they had done for me. I gave him my phone number. I left.
He never came to the meetings. He was dead within a year. He was 42 years old. He left a wife and 3 young girls. I felt bad ofr his family. But HE made the decision. He chose. I do not know if he would have lived if he stopped, but I think he might have. At least he would have tried. Beware of feeling too good in early sobriety. You will forget why you came to this site in the first place. I have gotten so much from AA and from this site. I hope you continue to visit and to post. Please let us know how your doing. And I did not do this alone. I NEED AA meetings.
Wolf M