About to begin 4th step

[REBOS]

Hi all,
I spoke with my sponsor last night and we feel it is time for me to begin my 4th step. Could anyone experienced with this share their experience strength and hope. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated.

[fishdocdon]

To begin just get your Big Book and the 12 by 12 and START writing. It's an inventory. Go for it and just get rid of the clutter that you think of. You will find out more later. You must just get rid of the things that are blocking out the sunshine of the spirit. Your not looking for EVERYTHING. GET it on and enjoy some peace of mind and a lot lighter load after your 5 th step.Just do it ----you CAN!!!!!
gbwu


doc

[jojo*41]

Dear fourth step:
It was not so long ago that i had completed my fourth step and my fifth. Of course the two do go together. When I first started I had no fears because I fully completed steps 1-3, these steps are the strength for the fourth step. Now, i am sure that you have completed those to the fullest and have a faith in a higher power. This higher power will guide you through prayer while writing, constantly keep your higher power in contact with you while writting, this way you will be assured that all that is coming out onto the paper is from your higher power. Our higher powers know much more than we do, so do not be afraid. There is nothing on your four that has not been done already, so let the fear go. Your higher power has already forgiven you and has guided you into this new way of life so have the faith that you will be taken care of. I know that once I began to write i felt fear, a fear that I must remember the past, but then I remembered the saying "we shall not close the door on the past" this is important for us to see our behaviors...than the change occurs in us. I have found that praying and losing the fear of the past(through prayer) has healed me a great deal.Now I can look at my past without any regret, and have learned so much in completing 4 & 5. I pray that you will muster up the strenghth and have no fear about this....this is all good, and the outcome will amaze you before you are half way through (sound familiar) Continue with what you are doing,I have faith in you...I know that you will succeed. Promise yourself a better way of living and all of the steps willl just flow within you.

chin up jojo

[WolfM]

Dear Jojo,

everything you need to know is in the Big Book. Resetnments list, fears list, sex inventory, to the grave. And on the resentment list, don't forget, "my part". This is very important.

I have done it with a spreadsheet, as an autobiography, but the most fulfilling was right out of the Big Book.

Wolf M

[angussdundee]

Having said the step three prayer, we have brought our own concept of God in to our lives - a new manager if you like. So now we will have the courage to search our lives for those things that have blocked us, now we can tell our sponsor our life story as best we remember it.
Hiding nothing, we start at our earliest memory then, a little about our brothers, sisters, parents and all those who through the years have affected our lives. With our sponsors compasionate and non-judgemental help, we can pinpoint those incidents that took away our feelings of self-worth, our dignity and our self-confidence that left us feeling different from other people. Having done this vital step we have then shared our life story, we have admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. Provided we have not deliberately witheld anything the step will have been completed. I urge you to keep it simple. I know of people who have been subjecting themselves to mental torture for years by trying to dig up things and even manufacture incidents because they thought it was necessary - it is not! The purpose of step four and five are to enable us to search out the true causes and conditions that made us feel that way about ourselves, to face up to them and to be rid of them, that's it!
I did feel a great sense of relief right after I took this step but it was the months and years later that really paid off as my feelings of guilt and remorse started to slip away.
Your in for a helluva journey Rebos so get in there and enjoy the ride, we're right behind you.

anguss.

[REBOS]

Thanks , I thought I would share a prayer that was given to me by a friend in the rooms as I was beginning my journey.

A Prayer
I ask the Lord to help me, to guide me through the day,
I ask the Lord to give me strength, to help me on my way.
I ask the Lord to help me thru the pain I do endure,
To help me bear my burdens, and keep my weak heart pure.
I do not ask ?Why me Lord?, for surely there?s a plan
For me and others like me, even if we don?t understand.
I said ?alcohol and drugs, Lord, have given so much pain,
Have taken so much from me Lord, that I can not regain.?
And then a voice within my heart said, ?Look at what you have,
An old life gone forevermore, with so much more to gain.?
?For a new life opened to you, Love, Comfort and true friends?.
?All understanding of your pain, and with you to the end?.
I really thought about this then, and felt my weak heart grow,
For the Lord has blesses me greatly, with something so many will never know.
A new life opened up to me, New Family, Friends and Love,
To share my life completely, sending Prayer?s,
Comfort, Understanding and true Love.
And then I said ?Thank you Lord, for all you?ve given me,
For every pain I?ve suffered Lord, you?ve sent a friend to me.
For every cross I have to bear I never \bear alone,
Because friends help me carry it, however far, or long.
Be with us all and guide us Lord, as we journey through this day.
Give us strength to be there for each other, in each and every way.
Thank you Lord.

[albertawind]

I would like to begin Step 4 also, and this one really makes you think: what kind of person am I... honestly. It's a tall order and a little discouraging, but as it says in the Big Book, "We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection". I'm not sure I could do it on my own right now, maybe once I get a sponsor or a few more weeks of sobriety under my belt. I can think of all kinds of faults that I have, but it's difficult for me to be objective about them because I'm still feeling emotionally fragile. To be frank, I don't think I'm strong enough yet to begin a moral inventory. Soon... hopefully soon. One of my faults is that I try to rush things, and then I get frustrated when they don't turn out the way I imagined they would - if that makes any sense.

[fishdocdon]

Alberta, you have steps 1,2,and 3 before the 4th. Hasten slowly and do each to the best of your ability at this time. You can do them half assed and get halfass results. I don't think you want that. Get your book, get your SPONSOR, and get to doing . Good Luck GBWU Doc

[fishdocdon]

Alberta, you better knock yourself along side the head and regroup. You admit that YOU tend to rush things and FAIL. Unless I"m mistaken, and I have been before, you have about 3 wks sober now. That is ALMOST enough to kind of dry out. You can't do anything until u have the directions. Try to read them before your actions. You may find that all the parts fit and there are no extra parts. I always had extra parts when I put stuff together before the program. And it usually didn't work until I read and found out where I screwed up. That's ok with things. I don't think you want to gamble when it's for your LIFE. To me this is a life and death program and I take it very seriously. I hope you get REAL and don't think you can rush willy nilly and create anything worth having. I'm keeping you in my prayers. GBWU Doc

[albertawind]

Dear friends,

I get the message. Thank you.

Graeme

[kremjk]

I have found that there is plenty of inventorying to do before we get to the fourth step. I see that each step requires it's own inventory. As we aproach Step One we need to find out if we are "real alcoholics" or "potential alcoholics" or "non alcoholics" and so we ask ourselves questions about our drinking and our reactions to alcohol. The answers to these questions are key to moving forward.

The follwing are quotes from the 3rd edition of Alcoholics Anonymous the page numbers will be the same in the 2nd edition and the 4th edition:

Step 1: "We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics." Pg. 30
"?you can quickly diagnose yourself?" Pg. 31
"It will not take long for you to de-cide, if you are honest with yourself about it." Pg. 32
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." Pg. 44


Now in Step Two another inventory of myself is presented in the book...

Step 2: "We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. ?Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?? " Pg.47
"We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as the ancients were about the realm of the material?" Pg.51
"We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn?t apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view. ?was not a basic solution to these bedevilments more important??" Pg.52
"God either is or He isn?t. What was our choice to be?" Pg.53
"If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you." Pg. 55


And Step Three instructions lead us to look within again...

Step 3:"The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success." Pg. 60
"What usually happens?" Pg. 61
"?are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?" Pg. 62
"We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him" Pg. 63

Happy inventoying :)
Jim K

[kremjk]

Did he say "inventoying"
What's that? ???
Does he mean we are toying with the program? :-[
Who does he think he is? >:(

Oops ::)
I ment "inventorying" :)
(It might be a Froidian slip.) :P

jk

[albertawind]

Interesting points Kremjk. Although there are 12 distinct steps, it seems they overlap a lot and are really cogs in a big wheel. I need to read the Big Book more often.

Graeme

[angussdundee]

:) Your a silly sausage JK. Everyone knows that 'inventoying' is somethin Santa's little helpers do just before Christmas....Sheeeesh! :D

anguss

[blossom]

When i first came to the rooms, i would hear lots of people sharing on that 'dreaded step 4' and i became really fearful of doing it - it seemed more like a punishment than the start of my action towards freedom, but i had not yet worked through the first three steps and was just looking towards doing my step 4. And my experience has been that these steps are in a specific order and that if i try to do them out of order i get my self into such a confusion that i think its all rubbish and doesn't work, but when i worked them in order each step naturally led into the next step and carried me forward with more understanding of myself and my higher power and it was simple (not neccesarily easy) but simple. None of the steps have left me stranded with no direction of what to do with this new found self knowledge, i am always guided by the next step.
When i accepted step 1 i remeber thinking i am this mad person who can't drink - and that was true, but then step 2 said that was ok because if i found a power greater than myself it could restore my sanity, and when i came to believe in my higher power i had no idea what to do with it, but step 3 showed me that i could turn my life and my will over to that power and i would be freed in its loving care. So now when i came to step 4 i didn't need to be scared as i had my belief and experience of god in my daily life, i knew at this point that my God was not punishing but loving and i needn't fear anymore who i was, God hadn't and would not reject me, step 4 enlightened me to what was sick inside me, it showed me that all that blame and anger i had carried around inside was built on a foundation of flaws within myself that i needed to share with someone else and God (step 5) and on finding out these flaws it was ok because step 6 showed me how i could write them all down and see how they continued to keep me sick and all i had to do was be ready and willing to give them to my god, then step 7 gives me the tool on a daily basis to give myself completely to god - good and bad and honestly ask for those flaws to be removed, and with the honesty and humility that that step gives me i am able to sit down and make a list of the people i had harmed without the anger and blame of what they had done, but purely looking at my own actions and how they had affected other people - step 8 - then step 9 showed me what i should do with my list and how to make those amends to people. After working through those steps i came to know a freedom within myself, that i had never experienced, i had cleared away all the debris with nothing left to rattle around inside or any heavy bags to carry, i was free to feel close to god, but i had to maintain that freedom on a daily basis and step 10 gives me that, to look at my day and work through steps 4 to 9 if needed and not let things build up again, then with this feeling of not being blocked i can sit down everyday with my higher power and through that concious contact try and act out Gods will in my life and not mine. I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps just as it says in step 12 and i try to carry this message and practice the principals of these steps daily - some days are better than others!

The steps are the only thing that i have found to fix my insides, they have worked where everything else had failed, from alcohol to places, people, food, shopping i could add to the list and add infinitum and i now realise that my search ahd always been a spiritual one, i just didn't know that until coming to AA.
Fear said to me 'don't look this way' and pride said 'you need not look this way', fear & pride are just two of my character defects and i now know i cannot trust what they tell me to do - So in working the steps i put my faith and trust in my Higher Power and not what i tell myself - i have found that this action alone has seved me and saved me in my recovery.

Love
Blossom

[kremjk]

Hey Mike (REBOS),
 
Congrats on 9 MONTHS! How is the step work going? Let us know how you are.
I appreciate your shares and havn't heard from you for a while.

jim k