Why Go To Meetings

[Carol87]

WHY GO TO MEETINGS

Shortly before his death in 1950, Dr. Bob was asked why he still went to meetings.? His three reasons should give every A.A. member pause to reflect deeply as they are the very essence of A.A. service. Dr. Bob said:

"The first reason is that this way is working so well, why should I take a chance on any other way.

The second reason is that I don't want to deprive myself of the privilege of meeting, greeting and visiting with fellow alcoholics.

The third reason is the most important. I belong at that meeting for the sake of the new man or woman who might walk through that door. I am living proof that A.A. works as long as I work A.A., and I owe that to the new person to be there. I am the living example."
_________________________________________________
Found in another group

[samf]

Thank you for this...I had never heard it...makes a lot of sense!

Sam

[bythegrace]

All of the reasons stated are reason enough for me to keep going... However, I also think that not continueing with meetings is one of the fastest, most direct way for my disease to take over.

Every time I go on vacation or am sick and cannot get to meetings I find it difficult to reconnect. Something my sponsor and I now plan for (to the best of our ability). It only takes just a few missed meetings before I begin to hear the insane whispering of my disease tell me that "it's ok not to go to meetings... I don't really need them anyway". If it's not dealt with right away, that whisper is usually followed by a more confident, yet even more insane voice... "You don't really need the meetings because you're not REALLY an alcoholic". Then there's is the demented logic that if I am not a real alcoholic, then surely, it is OK for me to drink...

Fortunately, I have never listened to that voice... yet. I find that it's then that I run as fast as I can to a meeting, call my sponsor, read the Big Book... I need the protection, courage, strength and hope of my group and I want to be able to offer my fellow alcoholics the same.

[Karma Dancer]

Those three reasons are the same ones my sponsor drilled into my thick head when I first came into the rooms. And they still work ;)

I have to admit, there was a time before we moved when I did lots and lots of not only F2F but bulletin-board and chat-style O/L meetings at the same time. I got a little burnt out on that after a while (surprise! Ya need sleep once in a while) and lost contact with my O/L groups. So F2F was the only kind of group I went to.......until we moved to the boonies. Now it's time to reconnect for me.

I miss my O/L meetings and discussion groups, so I'm really glad you guys are here. And since getting to F2F meetings is more difficult now than when we lived in town, this for me is an acceptable way to connect with other alcoholics. It's not a substitute for F2F meetings -- those keep me honest ;) -- but it's a great way to get in touch with alcoholics not only reasonably locally but all over the world. It's like having a room infinitely large full of alcoholics at every conceivable level of sobriety to talk to. How cool is that!!??!! :D

Thank you to everyone for being here tonight :) I really appreciate your sharing your ESH with me. I can only hope I'll have something to give back :)

[Carol87]

I go to meetings for all the reasons noted in the original post ... AND to keep me focused on my program.? ?When I start slacking off that's when the cunning, baffling, powerful comes into play and a commercial with a glass of wine looks way too tempting.? ?And Tinker I am one of those who will rapidly say "you'll never know what happens to people who don't go to meetings, if you don't go to meetings!"? ?I've seen so many come back to the rooms after a long absence and after a relapse.? ?I just don't want to go through getting sober again, in fact, I'm not sure I would ...

Ladies meetings ... that reminded me when I was first rebelling in recovery I was repeatedly asked to come to a step meeting that one of the ladies was conducing in her home.? ?Out of fear, more than anything else, I never did go to that meeting .... today I sure wish I would have.

[CarolD]

:D? ?I? go? to? ?meetings? so? I can? see? the? faces? of
walking? talking?? ?miracles!!

[fishdocdon]

To spend so many words rationalizing not going to meetings seems suspect. I hope your not having ego problems about the " lost sobtiety". Nothing is ever lost and you don't have to hang your head. If you don't want to go to meetings fine. I don't know about you but I can rationalize and justify anything. Guess what, I even can believe it . Do what you feel is right for you but when you get the program you will cease fighting and by the way making excuses for guilt feelings. Keeping you in my prayers and wishing you luck and sobriety....... DOC

[samf]

Hey, Tinker!

As usual, I can sure identify with a lot of what you said, and think I know you well enough to know it was all from the heart.

I do lots of online stuff, today, and do f2f meetings today, too. And there are times with me when I did not do f2f meetings or any type of meetings...sometimes even when meetings were available...sometimes there weren't any meetings...and, yes, I worked on starting meetings...and got discouraged and stopped...several times.

As a newcomer, I was grateful to have meetings to go to, and it really helped me a ton to have others around me who were sober, who were willing to help me.

Today, since I still try to play God sometimes, I would suggest to a newcomer that they attend f2f meetings because that help and hope from others is real important.

And whether f2f or online, I'd suggest reaching out to other AA's, and not letting the tendency to isolate keep you alone...hopefully you can find someone you trust to be there for you.

Ok...my half a brain cell has dinked out for the morning.

Oh, yah...and for me, I have been hurt by AA's, as well as helped immensely (I guess us humans do that sometimes...). I try not to let the getting hurt stop me as I end up finding I still need others, but will admit that I have let it stop me, before.

Hopefully we all have a Higher Power who takes care of it and us somehow.

Samf

[kelly k]

tink- so much of your story reminded me of me! i first got sober in 1990, and stayed that way for 14 years- so much of that time was spent 'helping ' others- but i couldnt trasmit something i didnt have...i married someone in the program with alot of time, and did the aa thing, but i began to grow distant in my head and heart...i had put a bandage on me by doing the steps, but hadnt done the "major surgery" that i neede to do...eventually i drank, and tried to keep it hidden from my husband, eho had about 20 years by this time...im sober again, almost 4 years, and for me it has been about sitting in meetings and shutting up...one of the first meetings i went back to, i pontificated at lenth about how unemberrassed i was, and about how sure i was that now i was going to lick this thing, and how great life was...afterward, a women came up to me(i was sure that she was going to ask for my "expert opinion"),and she said'other women in this group may be able to stay sober off your lies, but can you? i was humbled (and p***ed!) and she became my sponser...i still think that everyone has a right to honor aa in there own way. mine is though going to f2f meetings, but i sure also respect the right of others to do what they needto do. i always enjoy hearing from you..take care, another californian, kelly

[blossom]

I don't really believe in wrong and right - I know that something that is completely right for me could be completely wrong for someone else - and that that judjement is not up to me to make.
So why do i go to meetings?....I go to listen to other peoples experiences and to share my own - and for me i know that i need that in my recovery - While i have faith in my higher power and know that my higher does for me everyday what i cannot do for myself in keeping me sober, and that is down to my higher power and not the people in the rooms, i firmly believe that my higher power works through other people and i hear the message that i need to stay sober through concious contact and listening (and for me i have to admit the main place that i hear that message is in an AA room).
I am not in aplace in my recovery that i could consider not going to meetings, life for me is forever evolving and changing and with that so does my recovery, so i am always learning. And i only ever speak for myself, but if i was to stop going to meetings it would be because somewhere inside i thought that i knew the answer, knew the a,b,c's of recovery and that other people couldn't show me anything new and then i;ve started to put myself in dangerous position because for me it would mean my e.g.o (Edge God Out) was in the driving seat and not neccesarilary my higher power. I'm a firm believer in not finding out how many meetings i don't need to go to before i drink.

The only other thing that i know for sure about meetings from my experience is that i am SO glad the on the day i decided to get sober and go to a meeting, that there were other people in that room who were there to carry the message to me - otherwise i would of turned up to a dark empty building - and i know that wouldn't have got me sober...and i always need to remember that...to keep my sobriety i have to give it away, as it was so freely given to me, i cannot be selfish and keep this gift to myself...I don't think my higher power wants that, it is surely by gods grace that i am sober today and that there is a solution to my alcoholism, and if i am to do my higher powers bidding not mine....then i need to share that with other people trying to get well.

Love Blossom?

[angussdundee]

I've heard a lot of views on this subject over the years and my own view is this; when there is an epidemic of some kind, say flu, then the doctors advise certain susceptible, more prone members of our communities to take the vaccine. Not all of the people would become ill from the flu but the doctors have no way of knowing who would or would not get ill so sensible doctors advise every patient to take the vaccine.
I think therefor that it is very possible that some alcoholics could survive without AA. But since we don't know which ones, it's probably better that everyone continue to take "the medicine" or in this case "the meetings".
I think it's dangerous to think that you could be one of the special ones that might somehow be different from all the others.
My experience shows me that AA's who give up the meetings, for whatever reason, are showing a leading sign of imminent relapse.
The spots before the fever?

But then that's just my opinion and you know what they say about opinions.... ::)

anguss.

[kremjk]

Hi I'm Jim -- alcoholic.

It was recommended to me to have a home group and I took that advise. It was easy, I had no where else to go. I connected with people like me (emotional and mental disorders) and and we grew up together. I learned from them and we encouraged each other and worked the steps together.

Today there are a dozen or so of us that are sober and growing for decades and not one of us had very good odds at all. But, by God's grace and the fellowship we are active and effective members experiencing the promises listed and more.

The fellowship is 1/3 of this deal for me. And is, at times, one of the more difficult aspects of my program. I tend to isolate and am non-social. I believe that I am resisting my Higher Power's leading when I resist relationships.

And so, the recommendations that I commit to not missing my home group meeting has kept me in that good orderly direction and the development of social skills is the fruit on the tree. Allowing them and God and myself to pressure me toward "joining in" has rewards that I cannot create on my own.
I need help. And the good news is I have help. And I am glad to be a part of that help, cause they need help too.
jk

[angussdundee]

Hi Tinker, Please don't let my opinions disturb you in any way, they were not meant to be hurtfull, they are just my opinions. Anyway, I would like to think, after reading your interesting posts, that your long enough in the tooth not to let my pennyworth send you flying out to a meeting today to cry your eyes out... :D....; you sound like your doing just fine "taking your chances" and doing it your way and I wish you continued sobriety. Possibly some people do substitute "getting on with their lives" for dependence on AA. and there are just as many who don't. We're not here to judge. I do though find it heartbreaking to see members, often with long periods of sobriety, dragging their weak and busted body back into the rooms because they thought they could "take their chances" and do it their way. We all know that there is no immunity against this illness but a daily reprieve contingent on our spiritual growth. Would you please join me in the serenity prayer Tink?

God help us all

anguss.

[fishdocdon]

Tink, why all the DEFENSE. No one is saying you're wrong. No one is saying that the AA way is inflexible and the ONLY WAY. Our book tells us that we do not have a corner on the market. If someone suggests a possible weakness in MY reasoning, I think about it and accept or reject it. Done deal. As i said earlier ,I (that is ME), am capable of rationalizing and justifying anything and I can believe it. If you are different , fine. I wish you a LONG AND HAPPY SOBRIETY.

[angussdundee]

Thank you for your input Tinker. May I wish you and your's all the very, very best.

anguss.

[fishdocdon]

Good response to angus and me . The secret is in the 12 steps and the relationship with our Higher Power. A great deal of my time is spent as u related ( relatives, friends and others) away from meetings. God keep you well. Doc

[angussdundee]

Hey Tinker, that Kitty looks like a right little rascal!. It'll be straight up the curtains in no time.
Must say though - it kinda reminds me a little of me at my first AA meeting.... :P .... what about you fishdocdon? :D


Cheers Tink.

anguss.

[Carol87]

To attend meetings or not to attend meetings is a personal choice IMHO.? But this morning I found out why I have to attend meetings to maintain not only physical sobriety, but more importantly for me, emotional sobriety.? For various reasons, some valid, most not, I have not been to a meeting for over two weeks and was finding myself RID big time!? ?I made it to my home group -- the topic was on prayer and meditation ... I shared in a general way about a family situation that is extremely painful and hurtful and the answers that I got from my God at a time and in a way that I least expected.? ?I was so truly amazed at the love and support I got after the meeting ... it was an awesome reminder, for me, just how important and vital is for me to get away from this computer and get to the rooms ...

JMHO

[samf]

Tinker, Mariah is just the cutest!

Carol, that is real cool! I know that my HP does magical stuff in meetings...had a friend who used to say it was like a medicine lodge, to them.

Sam