So lonely.

[Aykaie]

I have lost my boyfriend and best friend because of my drinking.
I want to quit for me, but miss him so badly-feel so lonely.
Thank you for this forum. Its the only place I feel better.

[Aykaie]

((( Aykaie )))? Just do this continuing journey ONE DAY AT A TIME.? I know I sound like a broken record, but again I encourage you to check out AA in your area for support in addition to this forum.? ?I, too, am lonely many days but for me the solution is to get to a meeting and to keep busy.? ?I have found that if I don't take care of ME, then I can't be of any value to those around me.

How did the interview at the detox center go last night? ? ?





I chickened out. But I didnt' drink anything. I will do it. Some how, some way.

[kelly k]

aykaie- hello. your posts have moved me, as i can totally relate...everything that tink and carol said is so true about getting to a meeting- i know for me, this is a program of action OFF the computer. its wonderful to have a place to exchange expirience strenth and hope, but where i recieve anything to give back is at meetings...i had lost my husband -no he isnt lost,i was, but anyway, he was so fed up that he made it clear that my getting sober wouldnt nessasarly change him leaving with the kids...i think that when you have nothing to do it for but yourself, you have a better chance of staying sober...there are no guarentees for any of us, and sometimes i stay sober 'not because of, although this is always my goal, but inspite of,which takes me to the next hour or day,until my brain and heart are grateful for whats been freely given to me again...get to a meeting- go where the power is-you will meet a 'Tink" and a "carol" and a me there- this is a promise...peace to you as you trudge with us now-kelly

[Aykaie]

Thanks Kelly!

I really screwed up. I guess the problem I have now is where to go. There are open meetings, closed, beginners, etc........I am a little confused.

[Aykaie]

Okay, I am going to check.
Thank you!!!!
I just wasn't sure which one.

[kelly k]

it is a bit confusing-im just grateful you have so many to choose from...keep your spirits up, dont get overwhelmrd- realize that whichever one you pick will be the right one- the important part is that you go! you are so willing...that great. dont worry about which one, as you can hear the message at any...peace to you today...remember there is tremendous power in doing what you know you ought to do- take the leap!!!! kelly

[samf]

Hi!

I agree. A beginner's meeting or a wonman's meeting would be a real excellent place to start and go!

(I am a female, by the way...just have a different kind of name.)

I was so grateful when I first got to AA that there were meetings everywhere around me, all times of the day or night!

It is just wild to know that there are so many people, just like me, and that if they can get clean and sober...well, I started to hope that I could, too.

And after I got to know some of them...I was lucky...they would call be, or I would call them. We would do things with each other...was like having a whole new family.

They knew what I felt like, without my having to say...they just knew.

Not too long ago...last weekend...I went to something they call an AA roundup...it is just so awesome to see three to five hundred sober fols around me, enjoying and living life.

It makes me realize that miracles are happening, all the time.

I am so glad and grateful you are reaching out and sharing!

Samf

[jojo*41]

My goodness dear this is a toughy.
I remember the time I was very new to recovery and had to leave all my friends and lover behinde in order for me to have this wonderful new life. It was hard lovey, but it was just something I had to do. I remember the first meeting I attended and there was this poster that said HALT. I read, hungry,angry,lonely,tired......I thought "hmmm, I am lonely what do I do about this?" I asked many members and of course the answers were always the same. Concentrate on the steps, go to many meetings to meet other lonely people(we are all lonely in the beginning), get involved in your new way of living, leave the past where it belongs...look at it once in a while but leave the old with the old. It may seem very hard at this time, but I can assure you that I of the same had to leave my whole life behinde and most of the people in it. Sure I missed my boyfriend, but you know what, after working the program and getting with God, I am now married and very happy. I might add, not to the boyfriend i had left to become sobre. God knows all in your life sweety, just leave things to him and I can promise you all your dreams will come true. A life you never thought you could have, you will have! Just hold on to your faith in God and hold on to your sponsor real tight during this time, get to many meetings every day and night if you can. Do not allow the committee in your head to win...fight for your sobriety, do what is right for you, keep yourself safe sweety. Things do get a whole lot better....give God a little time he is quite busy with all of us.
Your friend jojo

[MIKEYBEEF]

Hey Aykaie. I know the lonlieness your talking about.I work the graveyard shift at Vons and spend 4 hours by myself daily.Also I sleep from 2-10:30pm,so i miss out on family time. All i can tell you is that I never feel alone when I go to meetings.Even the first few,when I didnt talk and just listened.When it was over,I felt a remarkable sense of peace.Like I was making a healthy drastic change in my life.Lonelyness to me can bother me at times,but I never feel lonely in A.A. ;D

[WolfM]

Dear Aykaie,
I see that you have not posted for a while, but I just thought I would share some of my ES&H with you if you come back.
You have stepped into the zone where sobriety has to be your number one priority. Everything else, everyone else, is secondary.
You need to get healthy and stay healthy. Not just physically but mentally and spiritually. You can not do this if your focus is on anything other than staying sober.
I was fortunate when I decided I had enough. There was only one meeting a week on the island where I live and I just went to that one. No choices to make. I just heard that if I wanted to stop drinking, I needed to go to meetings so I did. I learned of course that meetings are only a part of the whole recovery process. Now there are 5 meetings a week of AA and 2 of another 12 step group so I can go to meetings every day if I want too. But I do continue to go to meetings 19 years later. And I go to meetings when I am traveling. I have been to meetings in Japan, Australia, the US mainland and Hawaii.
I find safety and solace in these meetings. I find people who know me intimately, even though we are strangers. I hope that since your first post you have made it to a meeting. Please let us know how you are doing.
Wolf M