We Thought Conditions Drive Us To Drink

[samf]

"We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn't do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never ocurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were." (Twelve and Twelve - page 47)

[samf]

I could sure identify.

I remember finally saying the heck with it, when I was thirteen, and that began my drinking and using career. I had been trying to be a good kid...and then my folks would behave the way I wanted them to.

Then I got married, had a couple of kids. I was still able to stop, at that point, and did for five years.

Then I got a divorce. The first night it was final began my next bout of drinking. I didn't know that drinking was a problem for me, at the time. I didn't know I was an alcoholic.

I got real drunk and blacked out and passed out, that first night.

I drank for the next five years or so.

Years later, i realize that it was the way I dealt with things. If I was lonely, if I felt lost and scared...if I wanted to feel loved or cared for, I drank.

It always set up a craving for more.

In the end, I was numb inside and my beat friend, alcohol, had turned on me.

See, I could have met conditions differently than I did. I can see it today, but I couldn't see it, then.

Samf

[joyroadman]

tks Sam
how manY times have I sat in a meeting when someone wanted to complain about their conditions...bla bla bla

recovery is a inside job not dependant on the outside conditions

[joyroadman]

oh yea,i am bringing the topic for the sunday morning 10:00 meeting.

the topic is going to be
soberiety is a inside job.
i will use the part from the 12x12 you posted..tks for bringing it up..

[samf]

Thank you, joyroadman! :D

Hope your today is the best!

Just love meetings...hope your Sunday meeting is a good one, too!

Samf

[MIKEYBEEF]

Thanks Sam, I needed that to ponder this 4th of july ;D

[samf]

Thanks, Mickey! I hope yopur fourth is the best!!
Mine is realtively quiet, so far, and that's fine by me...had all my excitement, pretty early on...I LIKE quiet! :o

Sam

[splashdancer]

I think the conditions which drove me to drink were *inner* conditions..
Working on step 8 now, and my dang sponsor has taken away all the dread that I was using as an excuse... she said

"It's just a list. You don't have to do anything with it till later. Just a list."

In reading through this step in my 12 & 12, there is a statement about how our personality defects are so deeply entwiined with our being 'driven' to drink... lots to think about here.

gena
splash

[samf]

Think so too, Gena. there is a lot in the twleve and twelve concerning step eight! Looks like the potetial for a lot of healing.

I can see so much more than just the list...love what you said about driven.

Sam