Offer him friendship and fellowship.

[Patsyd1]

Page 95 in the Big Book


You will be most successful with alcoholics if
you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform.
Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual
hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for
his inspection. Show him how they worked with you.
Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if
he wants to get well you will do anything to help.

If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects
you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties
or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him
until he changes his mind. This he may do after he
gets hurts some more.

If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you
again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After
doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants
to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you,
his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire
must come from within.

If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or
prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him
to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly
on God; we merely have an approach that worked with
us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common
and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly.
Let it go at that.

[PHANTOM VISITOR]

Right before this quote from page 95, the BB notes that this is "the first visit". On page 96 there is a quite different instruction on "the second visit". The context is very important. Otherwise, one might get the wrong impression!