.. alcoholics are not supposed to ...

[Carol87]

Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends
must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there.

Excerpts .. Pages 100-101, BB________________________________________________ _
Whenever I hear this discussed I think of my first social gathering after I stopped drinking but wasn't yet in AA.? I was so uncomfortable and felt so out of place drinking my 7-UP while at the same time watching how the personalities of my friends changed the more they drank!? I also remember being so uncomfortable at a small party given in honor of my 25th anniversary with the company I worked for.? And what a close call I had at my retirement party ... I ordered a nonalcoholic "cocktail" but when they brought me the drink, it definitely had bourbon in it!? ?

Today I don't make a practice of being where alcohol is served but when that does happen, I am very comfortable knowing that I don't have to drink.?

If you are new, yes, this is confusing since we also tell you all you have to do is change persons, places and playthings in your life!? The key is "spiritually fit" and my own interpretation ... have a solid foundation in recovery.? Yesterday's chairperson so correctly pointed out to be sure and check with your sponsor before you put yourself in a position where alcohol will be served.?

Some of the advice that I hear every time this topic is discussed ... be sure you have your OWN transportation so you can exit if it gets too tempting for you.? Take phone numbers with you and USE them if you are struggling.? If possible, take another alcoholic with you for support.? If you are at a dinner, turn the wine glass upside down, no one will try to serve you.? ?

[samf]

Boy, what you shared reminded me when I was trying to stop on my own...was still functional enough to work as a bartender...LOL.
And I'd do my job and watch people's personalities change, and I wanted to feel that comfortable in my own skin...be a part of the laughter and stuff.
It did not work for me to do that.
Today I personally don't find much attractive about bars, so I just don't go there.
In social settings, where drinking is going on, I keep my own glass, have my own transportation. If I get uncomfortable, I leave.
If someone keeps asking me to have a drink, I just tell them I am allergic...that usually stops it...so far, is my favorite way to say no.
And if I am in pain, emotionally, or in a funk, I just pass on anything where booze is concerned...I am afraid that if I went when feeling like that, the chance of my drinking is greater, and not worth the risk.

Samf

[Harry]

I remember before getting to AA I thought that the only way I was capable of getting sober was to be put on an island where there aren't any other humans. It would have been my luck that a monkey would have showed up with a bottle of vodka. I'm not a Big Book thumper and so I don't usually get into quoting anything from the BB because it means I have to actually open the book to find what I want to quote it. So I share things that I have read from the Big Book that has stuck in my mind. And one is that "we no longer fight anything, not even alcohol." I don't go into bars just because I don't have any business to do in them. I don't stop in package stores, because I don't have any business to do with them. I do attend functions where I know there is drinking going on. Of course I attend these functions with my wife, who is also in AA. We sit at tables and associate with people who are drinking alcohol and we have our diet coke in hand. If anyone offers me a drink I just politely tell them, "no thank you I don't drink." I don't entertain the thought of drinking and neither do I feel jealous that other people can drink in safety and I can not.

Today my obssession has been lifted because I asked God to remove it when I got up. Now what will happen tomorrow, I don't know and I'm not going to worry about it. I'll leave that in the hands of God. I'm better off in His hands than in mine.

Just For Today. One Day At A Time.

Harry

[zestymuz]

LOL on the monkey showing up on the Island with a bottle of vodka, Harry!

First off, I too, wake each morning and surrender my alcoholic craving and the addiction to God and pray for ONE day of sobriety. I have two girlfriends, and in the past, our relationship has been organized around alcohol. I told them the other day that I've given up, but that I would love to still be friends, only I will be bringing my cranberry soda to dinner instead of wine. Not sure where the relationships will end up, but that is another day.

I can't entertain any thoughts of drinking, and I'm still in early days of recovery, so I'm not putting myself into any position to trip myself up. In regards to recovery,at this point, I am an infant, but I remember when my husband and I did some missions work overseas, and some of our team wouldn't go into restaurants that had 'idol' images in them because they thought the evil forces would overcome them, and I thought then, 'Either God is able to keep us, or he isn't, and if he isn't, what's the point?'

I believe God is able to keep us.

I love your response, Sam, re: being allergic. If you don't mind, I'll borrow it.

Hope you all have a good day today.

[WolfM]

I had my last drink mid-week in December 1987. Our company Christmas Party was that weekend. At the time I was a senior executive and there was no way I could avoid that party. We had a job candidate in for the week who I did not know. When I got the party I sat with he and his wife. I did not want to sit with my friends because I did not want to put myself in an uncomfortable position. Because these were people who I drank and partied with for years. I did not drink at that party. I have not had a drink since my last one.
I do not frequent bars, and I too will leave a place when the drunks start acting like I used to. But I do not worry about picking up a drink just because it is available.

[CarolD]

Thump Thump! the final paragraph on 43
clinches it for me.... :D

[Carol87]

With the holidays here, thought this thread might help if you are struggling with holiday parties and what to do ...

[kremjk]

Thanks Carol,

I am attending my company Christmas party tonight. There will be an open bar that is the first 'event' of the evening. If that were the sum of the event I would not attend without apology or need of excuse. But there is more to this. There is a 'breaking of bread' and a social celebration along with a 'state of the company' address. Upper management is trusted and sober and the 'spirits' offered are for those who care to partake. Most of us will leave there sober.
I also refuse to be a 'designated driver' for those who do not care for self control nor for the potential alcoholics. My wife will not be offered my car keys however as I expect she will drink a wine and maybe a beer. Alcohol does not seem to make her thirsty for more alcohol, and I do not ever see her take more than that. But I will drive never the less.

Happy Holidays, Jim K

[blossom]

Thanks Carol,

As it turns out this year i have no christmas functions to attend, the only one will be on new years eve where i go to a party to celebrate that is held by a couple who are a long time in the fellowship. I really enjoy that and have soooo much fun.

But whatever time of the year i too follow all the things in your post, and i always pass that on to anyone else whos attending a wet place for the first time in recovery. I do not go to bars on a regular basis, but my partner is a musician and i sometimes go to watch him play, I have had people say to me in recovery that "daniel didn't go back to the lions den to get his hat", But as long as i'm am there for a reason i find it ok - there was one time when i wasn't so sure about going, just because i wasn't feeling 100% (and if i feel like that - i stay well clear) So i rang my sponsor talked to her about it (it was an important night for my partner and i wanted to be supportive) and she arranged for herself and a couple of other fellowship members to come with me, it was briiliant and theres nothing quite like seeing a group of sober alcoholics shaking their bootie on the dancefloor!!!! I am always amazed still at other recovering alcoholics kind generosity to help another recovering alcoholic, even when that is to accompany me to a bar, so that i can fulfill a committment.

I would wish everyone a merry christmas, but if i do that then i would have to face up to the fact that christmas is just 3 weeks away and i've yet to buy a present!!Eeeeek :o :o :o

Love
Blossom