We Enjoy Life!

[PHANTOM VISITOR]

Don't take this the wrong way, but I never knew anyone who got here because they were having too much fun! When you reflect on this, "...just because you don't drink doesn't mean you have to stop having fun!" Remember this:chances are you stopped having fun a long time ago.

In almost 17 years I've never known anyone who came in and said, "I'm having? fun drinking and my life is happy, but I think it's time to stop." Nope, they were more like this description on page 52, "We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy..." Doesn't sound like having fun to me.

That being the case, you stopped having fun a long time ago. Now the thing to do is get well; take the action of the steps, recover and? then you can start having fun again.

[PHANTOM VISITOR]

The idea that you can't have fun is a common misconception to AA newcomers. While it's important to reinforce that we "absolutely insist on enjoing life", from the BB on page 132, it's equally necessary to note that statement comes after we have achieved a recovered state.

My point was, and is, you must address the problem of alcoholism first , once you're well the rest follows easily.

Can you imagine going to see an oncologist, after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, and asking, "Before we start treatment, can you assure me I'll be able to have fun after I recover?" I don't think so.

Make no mistake - this is a deadly disease. Seek first to get well. Don't worry "we absolutely insist on enjoying life" - which includes lots of fellowship and fun.

[Carol87]

Willard originally posted this in the Hello thread in Newcomers in response to what I posted about having fun ... Willard, I appreciate the points you make and think they deserve their own thread.? ?

I truly thought I was having fun when I finally found recovery ... Little did I know just how miserable I really was.? I had (have) a tendency to be very serious and could only see 'black or white' ... no one could convince me that there is also grey.? It took me a long time to lighten up and enjoy myself.? ?A very close friend gave me a plaque one year that said:

I'm Happy Being Me

Imagine how happy
And free I could be,
If I'd laugh at my faults every once in a while,
And accept my mistakes
With a shrug and a smile.
If I'd take little setbacks and failures in stride,
And remember successes
With pleasure and pride.
Imagine how happy and free I could be,
If I did all I could to enjoy being me!?

I can't tell you how long it took before I really "heard" what was being said.? ?Then, and only then, could I fully appreciate "we are not a glum lot!"

OK, I know I strayed from the original intent of this thread? --? it has been a long time since I've thought about this.? I needed the reminder.

[WolfM]

We are not a glum lot.

[samf]

In AA, people also supported and loved me until I could love myself...they had faith in me when I didn't have any...and they kind of held me up, too. They had all been there.

I was kind of scared about the steps, but as I went along, they kept assuring me there was nothing to fear and shared thier own stories...it gave me the courage to keep trying.

And no matter what I did or didn't do, they never kicked me out or told me to go away.

Just wanted to share that, too.

Samf

[Patsyd1]

That being the case, you stopped having fun a long time ago. Now the thing to do is get well; take the action of the steps, recover and? then you can start having fun again.


Willard, when I attended my first AA meeting, I was shocked to hear the laughter in that room, to see people who not only identified with the speaker, but there were those who laughed so hard they had tears coming down their face.? ?Of course, I saw absolutely nothing funny at all.

It was a few weeks later at that very same AA meeting, that I found myself laughing out loud for the very first time in a very long long time.

At a few weeks sober, I had no clue what the 12 Steps were, I had no clue really what alcoholism was, I had no clue that I had no clue, and yet I found myself laughing so hard, because it felt so good to be a part of, and not a part from, that I became filled with gratitude just to be sitting in that chair, among those AA'ers who were a wonderful example to alkie, that we are indeed,? not a glum lot.

No, we do not wait until we get "well" before we start to have fun.? Having fun is a wonderful and important part of the process of Recovery, one day at a time, one step at a time.

[Carol87]

I posted this in a different thread ...

" ... just because you don't drink doesn't mean you have to stop having fun!? ?You will find a whole new set of friends.? ?One of the things that struck me at my first AA meeting was the LAUGHTER.? ?It is contagious and is a part of 99.9% of all the meetings I have ever attended."_________________________________________________

P.S.It is not my intent to turn this into a cancer survivor discussion but in response to Can you imagine going to see an oncologist, after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, and sking, "Before we start treatment, can you assure me I'll be able to have fun after I recover?" I don't think so.

As a ten-year cancer survivor, the answer is Absolutely YES!!? ?Some of the most important questions after a cancer diagnosis are -- how will this affect my life, is there a chance I will be cured, what are the chances for long-term remission?? ? I may not have specifically asked if I could have fun per se but it was very important to know that I had a 95% chance of living a long, normal life after treatment.? ?Unless you have experienced the paralyzing fear of hearing that you have cancer, this is probably very difficult to comprehend.? The only way you can understand what it is like is to have experienced it and I don't wish that on anyone.? Let me add that the program/fellowship of AA was/is my lifeline - especially during treatment.? ?Something that I will never forget.? ?OK ... I'm done!?

[PHANTOM VISITOR]

So, you all are insisting that you were having so much fun in your life you decided to attend AA. And, that when you got here having fun was a primary concern. And, not only that - the amount of laughter in meetings was a big draw - to the point that taking the action of the steps and getting well was secondary. Got it.

Once again, I'm corrected as to what AA's all about. Will I ever get it? Seems like all I did was recover.

[NancyJ]

So, you all are insisting that you were having so much fun in your life you decided to attend AA. And, that when you got here having fun was a primary concern. And, not only that - the amount of laughter in meetings was a big draw - to the point that taking the action of the steps and getting well was secondary. Got it.

Once again, I'm corrected as to what AA's all about. Will I ever get it? Seems like all I did was recover.



I'm grateful that AA is not a fundamentalist church. Sometimes you sound like a neo-fundy xtian, Willard. I fully understand that this is a grave and fatal disease, but if I can't relax and have some fun, then what is the use of it all? I haven't seen where anyone said that life was so wonderful that they decided to come to AA. But the laughter sure goes a long way towards keeping a lot of people coming back until they can truly surrender.

[WolfM]

Knowing full well that I may be thought of as heretical with this story, I am going to tell it anyway. About 18 months ago I seemed to have fallen off the pink cloud I had been on for 17 years and some months. I had been going to meetings, working with a sponsor and sponsees, being of service, reading the Big Book, etc. But I became restless, irritable, and discontent. To make a long story short, I leaned into the program (which had been suggested to me by a guy in the fellowship who attended meetings here when he lived here). I also began seeing a psychologist because AA is not the do all/cure all of all my problems. But the problems I was having were directly related to character defects that I had not fully asked God to remove. I know that now. But as time passed, I began to get better. My thinking began to get clearer. My faith stronger. One day I was reading an email from a friend and it was a joke. I laughed out loud. Uproariously. Tearfully. That was the first time in many months that I had done that. And all of a sudden I knew that I was getting better. I found humor in the joke. I had not found humor in anythng for a while.
Recovered? No. That is perfection and I am not perfect. Healthier than I was 20 years ago? Physically, mentally, AND spiritually yes. Cured? Never. So I beleive I am recovering. That is my opinion, right, feeling.
When I got in to AA I was not concerned with fun. I was concerned with not drinking. But the longer I stayed sober, the more ENJOYING the second chance at life that I was given became important to me. Of course to maintain this level of enjoyment I have to work the steps, go to meetings, study the Big Book, and talk to my sponsor. I continue to do this. In fact, I find it fun to go to meetings and listen to people share. Because I find LIFE fun and LIFE is what I find at meeting. Happy (fun), Joyous (fun) and free.
And I do not trudge the road of happy destiny. I hop, skip, and jump!

[PHANTOM VISITOR]

"...a neo-fundy xtian, Willard."

Sigh, I guess you're right. I'm hopeless. I continue to believe that this is about recovery first. There are fundamentals in life that are absolute. They come first. That's not new, (or "neo" to you Nancy.) As for the Christian part: guilty again. (Why is this used as a slur, I wonder?)

Wolf, you seem like a great guy, no argument with me about your recovered state. That's addressed in the BB, as you know.

I'm outnumbered again! - a neo-fundy xtian at odds with believers in New Age philosophy based on emotion, crystals, smoke, pyramids, slogans and subjective truth - so, what else is new?