lonely alcoholic

[aries]

:)Hi just dropped and I don't suppose there is really anyone around at this late hour, but then it could be morning too.? About to hit the hay but I wanted to see whats up, thanks.
Been sober awhile, but the program still keeps working and I am soooo grateful for that.? Length of sobriety doesn't mean much really, since I have also been told we are only a drink away (one arms length) from going crazy again, and I certainly do not want that anymore - to remember my first drink and my last drink and walk thru them when a thought of insanity arises and it is a pretty sure bet it won't happen, but then who knows ----? I will get back at a better time next time and all I can say today is keep it simple, easy does it, one day at a time, and the most important let go and let God ------------ and I thankyou so very much for still being here.? God bless everybody and take care.? Love you.

[Baritone]

Hi Aries,

Welcome to AA Sober Living. I've heard it said that "no matter how far down the road you go, you're still just as close to the ditch on the side." I'm glad to have a higher power in my life that's not alcohol or people, places, or things.

Keep coming back,
- Jim

[CarolD]

Hi? and? ?Welcome!? ?

Have? you checked? out? a recovery? Chat? room??
They are usually? more? ?active? late at? nigjt.

Yahoo? has? Friends? of? Bill? for starters.? ? ;)

It's? great to see? you? sharing? with us.? ?

[aries]

Hi looking for anybody who got sober in Glendale,California in mid 70's, have lost track and life is getting rather short.? Finding myself in mid-70's and really can't believe it, but reckon tis true.? Sobriety for me these past few years has been a way of life for sure and that is what I like to pass on to newcomers, for unless we are totally willing to embrace the program totally there will for certain sure slip backs.? A quarter of a century looks pretty good, but I truly had nothing to do with it, it was all my Higher Power - for until I was ready to let go of all past problems,was just going around in circles for sure. This program is truly a gift from God.? No if's, and's or but's about it.? A wonderful spiritual program that surpasses any other. :)

[artistgirl]

i am beth, a not so recovering alcoholic and addict,and i could seriously use some help. i live with my alcolholic mother. i have been trying to get better, move ahead. i have no where else to stay right now and no car, so i feel kind of stuck where i am. i am starting my own landscaping business in the neighborhood (that is my job background besides art) and it is really doing well...i know i will be very busy soon as the weather breaks here in missouri. for the last three nights i have been listening to my mother wailing and crying in her room..i have asked her if she needs help,what can i do, etc. she has a lock on her door. figured out i cant do anything for her and need to take care of myself... my dream goal is to move out to new mexico where my best friend, my sister lives. she is a recovering alcoholic/addict and has been sober for 6 years. we email or talk every day... right now i just don't know how to get through a day. can someone give me something i can hold onto? i really dont feel like i can be here much longer in this situation. artist girl

[CarolD]

I? am? sorry? for? your present? situation...
and? glad? you? are making? plans? to? live? in? harmony.

In? many areas? you can call? the local AA? and ask for a?? ride? ?to? meetings.? ? ?That's? ? how? I? attend.? ?;D

Meetings? are vital? to my? progress? and? a? great way? ?to? ?find? sober? friends.

Glad? to see? you here...

[samf]

Hi, artistgirl!

Yow...that IS a tough situation!

For me, when stuff is hard, I try to get to more meetings or even just to talk more to some AA's. Hopefully, where you live, if nothing else, you can do some conversation on the phone...where I live, there is an AA number to call, and people who are willing to talk to me.

Online support can be great, too.

No, I could never fix anyone I loved...and that's a real hard place to be in, sometimes.

Al-Anon is another good program...thee's also some real good online email meetings and groups if you can't get anywhere.

Same for AA.

And don't hesitate to reach out and "talk" to poeple, here, that you have some trust in.

And your Higher Power is always there, I bet.

Sometimes when I have been feeling really down or worn out, I tend to forget that, for myself...like I ignore this ready supply of help and hope.

I am thinking about you, saying a prayer for both you and your mom.

If I can do anything, please let me know.

Samf

[PHANTOM VISITOR]

Some may tell you - in your time of distress - that "you're right where you need to be". Don't buy into that nonsense. It's not necessary to live in misery, fear and uncertainty. You are not "right where you need to be".? God wants you to be happy, joyous and free - not miserable.

There is no "eternal event". Everyone goes through tough times, but they don't last forever? - even though it may seem like that when you're in the middle of one. It's important to remember that the transisition from "living life on life's terms'' to living life on God's terms is not always an easy one.

When we make the decision in Step Three, we "burn the boat"; there's no turning back. In good times and bad we have decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. In good times, it's easy. In difficult times we struggle with that concept. Persevere, remember it's what we were like , not what it's like. We must change because life doesn't. Life is full of ups, downs and bumps in the road.

You'll get through this bad time. Remember how you did it so you can pass it on.

[aries]

Wow oh wow it has been a year, where has the time flown too??? Oh well, anyway since I last corresponded have been doing a lot and have learned a lot as well.? First off it is to not take myself so serious, amen and to remember the serenity prayer and keep it posted in mind for it holds a lot of very simple ideas that DO WORK and that is for sure.? To refresh my inventory daily for it will continue to change one day at a time as I am changing, also growing older and remembering soooo much.? Today life has finally given me glimpses of what I really wanted way back then -- love, peace and serenity, you betcha' and there is no doubt about it.? Keeping it simple it means for me, to let go and let God, and turning all thingss over and letting go totally, it seems to have been working.? No more FEAR, no more JUDGEMENT, no more GUILT, and I don't know guess finally I have met the REAL ME, thank God and it is a blessing.? It is kind of neat to not have all that garbage cluttering up my mind, to be able to look around and just ACCEPT everything in devine order, including people, places and things - to realize if my NEEDS are met I have everything really and why get into a snit because life is falling apart around me, have done my dogonest to help when can, to be of service when called upon, to gladly share when asked - thats it folks.? I am one GRATEFUL member of Alcoholics Anonymous - that somehow, someway some 30 years ago I was led into the rooms, ranting and raving and feeling sorry for myself, managed to stay and listen until it finally seeped in - then changing my sobriety so could really get to know self, what a concept - you betcha' am so grateful to God, AA and each and every AA member whom was willing to share with me until I was ready to share too - that is why daily today all I can really do is to announce wherever - THANKYOU GOD and mean it from the bottom of my heart.? Blessings on all the newcomers and all I can say is KEEP COMING BACK it really works, may take some time but don't give up no matter what for you too shall find serenity and love wherever you go.? ?Love to everybody.? Jackie?

[samf]

Hey, Jackie! Just sending a hug and was glad to read what you shared!!

Sam

[winks]

Hi
I am new to this website but not new to AA. I have 3 years of sobriety. It's been a journey a ride guess all I can do is hang on. Maybe someone can answer me hello. I am active in AA, stay in close contact with my sponsor --sometimes I have crazy hours and want to talk to someone at night but don't want to wake anyone up so figured this would be a way to stay in contact with other alcholics but not have them annoyed with me. Maybe someone can explain what people do on this site (I did sign up in the sobriety date). Love to hear from somebody.
Serenity & peace
Lori S.

[fishdocdon]

welcome lori!!! Just post a note in whatever forum you wish and check back a little later for responses. People are in and out of here at any time and one can't predict how soon an answer will be. Again, welcome, you're in our prayers. GBWU Don

[blossom]

Hi Lori,

I am also 3yrs sober - good to have another toddler around (LOL) ;-)

I love coming on here and reading through the shares any time of day & night (found it a real help one night when i was up with a tooth infection :o )

Rally look forward to getting to know you and WELCOME ;D ;D

Love
Blossom x

[sean]

hi

i am back in recovery after a 4 year bender in which i preceded to lose everything i had built up in 10 years of soberiety, i am in so much pain after 9 weeks off the sauce and attending aa meetings regularly. take the advice of a fool,,,, it gets a billion times worse out there. i have to restart my entire life from scratch and finding it sooooooooooo painful and hard to do!! if anyone out there wants to get in touch. please do. i need all the help i can get at the minute

[kremjk]

Hi Sean,

Welcome to AASL and welcome back to AA.
As I read your post I am reminded of a passage from the Big Book...

...All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened. He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition. He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on. Moreover, he would lose his...

I think about the times that I have returned after drinking again and the times others have 'come back in'. Often you hear the members say, "I'm so glad you did that so I don't have to. I can learn from your mistakes."

I don't believe that real alcoholics stay sober because we 'learn how to' but, the lessons we learn and the pain we feel can prompt us to work the steps and find a Power that will solve all our problems.

So, this '...reviewing carefully what had happened...' can benefit the one returning and it can help the members who welcome us back. So, I ask you to please consider and share with us what happened. What happened before the first drink 14 years ago?

Thanks, jim k

[sean]

14 years ago i got sober --stayed around aa for about 3-4 years then sporadic meetings after that then none. stayed off drink for years without aa. but the disease progressed and i drank again. and then went to pieces. wife found someone else--cant seee my kids and my head is melted--i have to learn to accept that i was responsible for the whole mess and get on with my new sober life

[kremjk]

Thanks for sharing Sean.

When my first marriage ended I was trying to take the whole blame. I was shown that I can only take my part in it. She gets her share of the responsibility and I get mine.
But either way, you're right, we need to go on, with sobriety. jim k

[sean]

i can see that she was right in getting rid of me -i wudve got rid of me! its just the speed i was replaced and a new man introduced as a father figure to my children that gets me at the minute. but i have been told to leave it alone and get on with my own recovery. because they aint the ones lying awake at night and thinking them selves to death!!!

[kremjk]

I know about that... Thinking myself to death. I was pointed toward a recovery meeting for divorced and separated. That helped me a lot and gave my AA group some relief from my needing to deal with it at meetings. But also, AA gave me the means of processing the situation when I was at divorce group. I was better able to take my part in it. Other members of the divorce group were stuck in blaming others. But the AA's showed me how to be honest and to take my own inventory.

Then when my x got a new man, I was able to avoid acting on the craziness I felt. I had people to help me process it and vent it.

I'm glad for all the help I've gotten. And I appreciate you sharing you story. I relate.    jim k

[sean]

we dont have seperated or divorced meetings over here--just a a so they all be bored to death with me and my sharing

[kremjk]

The 12 steps and a sponsor, a healthy home group, the Books. It's all good for helping us drunks.
The other helps I have recieved have been supplimental to the AA program.
It hasn't happened fast. It takes time to heal and accept change. But the AA program works for dealing with all the stuff of life. jim k

[WolfM]

Wow,
I have been on both sides of that street. My first two marriages (one with kids, one without) ended in divorce. The relationships deteriorated as a direct result of my behavior when I drank. People ask me what was wrong with my first two wives. I tell them that they made the same mistake...... They married ME!
I say that only partially in jest. When I was separated from my first wife and two daughters (5 and 3), I sent them a check every month to show what a good father I was. But that was just crap. All I cared about was me, me, me. It took years for me to get those relationships back. It took years and the fellowship of AA. So I ran off with my second wife, and then she ran off with someone else. Now I was even. But I was still actively alcoholic and imposed myself on another willing woman.
I have to tell you that we have been married for over 21 years now. Of course I have been sober for over 19 and that makes a huge difference in how I handle the relationship.
My older girls were blessed with a very good step-father who made sure they grew up well and got an education. I am not sure how they would have turned out if I had been there in my insanity. I have two younger kids (19 and 14) who have never seen me drunk. They turned out ok.
But it is not really about the other people. It is about me and how I treat them, how I respond to them, how I react to them. That is the only thing I have any control over. And every morning I turn that control over to the God of my understanding.
Good topic and great sharing.
Wolf M

[bahamatwig]

2 steps forward - 1 step back... I've got to be at a 2 steps forward point again in my recovery because I am going through a big change. As a result I am working the program extra hard. One change that has been suggested to me over the years by my sponsor in addition to increasing meeting etc. is to do a daily gratitude list. I'm finally doing one and it's proving worth while. I've got more of a positive attitude to fall back on throughout the day. Alternately in times of struggle the Just for Today poem helps too, with good spiritual principles and life skills for a more joyous & free life.

Keep on keeping on... it does get better!