Sponsors

[moby4ever]

I was hoping someone could give me some advice. I was speaking to someone at my meeting and he asked me if I had a sponsor. I asked if he would, and he said yes if his sponsor said it was okay, which he did. Then I find out that he only has 78 days sober, which makes me a little nervous, but I still appreciate his help. Then another guy offered to sponsor me as well. He has more time (a lot more). So my question is, is it okay to have more than one sponsor, and is it okay if we are all at the same meeting? I have a friend who has 10 years and thinks that a sponsor with 78 days isn't a great idea. I am terrified of hurting someone's feelings or alienating someone. Help!!

[samf]

That is a hard call, I would think!

I am sure people have had more than one sponsor. Seems like one danger would be trying to go from one to the other, to get an answer a person wanted, but I don't know!

I have had sponsors and spiritual advisors at once, and have gone to another AA when I could not speak to my sponsor.

I can understand about not wishing to hurt someone's feelings.

I guess what I would personally do, before deciding what to do, is to pray about it, talk to some others, like you are doing, and when it's time, do what seems indicated.

When someone has to tell me something I may not always like, I always appreciate the truth.

Hope that helps, somehow.

Samf

[moby4ever]

Thanks.

[angussdundee]

The first thing that strikes me is, what kind of responsible sponsor thinks its "ok" for a person with 11 weeks sobriety to take on the vitaly important task of sponsoring another person... ??? At least the guy with 78 days had the sense to ask his sponsor if it was ok, probably because he knew he was not well enough along in his own recovery, it's just a pity the sponsor didn't spot that!
Unfortunately there is far too much of the "hell yes, if it keeps you outa my face then thats ok" mentality going around the rooms and not enough effort going into actualy 'sponsoring' the newcomers. Some people think they need to collect sponsee's as a sign that they're 'into their recovery' sadly they seem to overlook the fact that its the prime responsibility of any sponsor to guide his candidate through the 12 step program and that can only be done by a person who actualy knows what he's doing and takes the time to do it.
An irresponsible sponsor is like the blind leading the blind: sooner or later, one or both will fall over the cliff.

Selecting a sponsor is a significant step in the recovery process so choose for all the right reasons - recovery, recovery, recovery ;)

Anguss

[fishdocdon]

Well stated Anguss. I believe that completing the 12 steps should be a prerequisite for sponsors.. At 11 weeks one can carry the message and guide someone to meetings the Big book etc. but that should be all. UPU CAN'T GIVE SOMETHING AWAU THAT YOU DON'T HAVE........ GBWU All Don

[moby4ever]

Thanks for the input. Any suggestions on what to do?

[angussdundee]

First we read chapters five & six of the Big Book, especially the section relating to step three. This section explains why it is desirable to to do the third step, then the benefits of doing the third step and finally the action required to do it.
Steps 1 & 2 -
Turning to page 60 of the AA Big Book; "Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic and our personal adventures before and after" (in other words, the first four chapters of the Big Book) "make clear three pertinant ideas:
a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives;
b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism;
c) That God could and would if he were sought.

The next paragragh begins;
"Being convinced, we were at step three"... Convinced of what? Not the twelve steps, we have not done them yet.
Being convinced of the three pertinant ideas? Yes! If we can accept the three pertinant ideas are true and apply to us, we have completed the first two steps according to the big book. So we are at the third step.

Being sponsored or sponsoring someone else is not about being judged or censured. It's about knowing that what you are doing is part of your own recovery, it's a two way thing, and remember that the man sponsoring you has had the same difficulties as you.

Keep It Simple, there is a solution!

Anguss.

[moby4ever]

Thanks.